Hate Have you ever hated someone without knowing why? For example, you hate someone you just met, for no reason. Or you hate someone because of their gender, their hair color, their political views or their age. Why? Perhaps before you hated that type of person, you tried to help someone like him or her. For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?" You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise." Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it." You suddenly feel a little hatred for Jill. Her comment is deeply insulting. "If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron Hubbard You tried to help someone and you failed. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind of help you offered. Maybe the person did not realize you had good intentions, at the time. It's a rotten, upsetting feeling to try to help someone . . . and fail. How to Resolve This Hatred "Pick a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron Hubbard So instead of ignoring the person or getting angry, talk about the subject of "help." Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on. Once you get started, your hatred will dissolve. You will understand the person or people similar to this person. Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion 1. Do you like getting help? 2. Do you like helping others? 3. How do you feel about me helping you? 4. How do you feel about helping me? 5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't? 6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't? 7. Do you wish you could help more people? 8. Do you wish more people could help you? 9. In the future, how can I help you? 10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways? "Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard Give it a try! You will be delighted and amazed. You may even do some good for this world. Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
FW: TipsForSuccess: Hate
TipsForSuccess: Five Management Rules
| Five Rules for Successful Staff Management If you manage people, or wish to manage people, you must know the rules for solving staff problems. For example, "How should I treat Jenny when she gives me the silent treatment?" "What should I do about this conflict between Steve and Pete?" "How should I respond when people want favors from me?" If you are not yet a manager of people, you soon will be one, IF you follow these rules whenever you can. An article by L. Ron Hubbard called "How to Fill Jobs" outlines seventeen rules. Here are five of those rules. 1. Do not expect to improve your status or popularity with your staff members by giving them raises. You improve your status by doing your job and actively leading your group. For example, one of your employees says, "Come on Boss, I really need that raise. I have to pay my rent and am desperate. I would consider it a personal favor and will be very, very happy if you give me the raise. Okay?" You say, "Sorry Jed. No raise. Maybe if you improve your productivity for a few months we can discuss it. Let's get to work on that project as we're already behind." 2. People will work very hard IF you have them do the work they agreed to do when they were hired. For example, your computer system crashes and 5000 records need to be entered by your data-entry staff before they can do their normal data-entry work. Because they were hired to do data entry, you say, "I know this will be hard, but you people need to get these 5000 records entered by the end of the day, even if you need to work all night. And then by the end of tomorrow, you need to catch up your regular work, as well." The data-entry staff grumble a bit, but soon they are working harder than ever. They laugh about having pizza for dinner and decide they can finish by 7 pm. 3. Pay attention to your staff's work. Make regular comments about their performance. For instance, you say, "Good job on getting those 5000 records entered by 7 pm!" 4. Do not play favorites or a form clique (a small, exclusive group). For instance, someone says, "Boss, a few of us want to buy you lunch." You say, "Great! Let's bring the whole team." 5. Demand excellent work standards. For example, one of your staff says, "I'm mailing these statements even though they are a little crooked. The copier messed up, but you can still read them." You say, "Throw them away and do it right. We're professionals, okay?" L. Ron Hubbard summarizes with this advice: "If you do all these fairly well, you'll really make it. You only have to be 51% right all the time to win. Just make sure the 49% loses don't include anything important." -- L. Ron Hubbard Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
TipsForSuccess: The Power of Passion
| The Power of Passion Improving this single attitude makes your days fly by. You wake up excited to work. You make the right decisions. You get more done in less time. Improving this attitude affects everyone around you. They believe in you, trust you and want to support you. This one attitude can change your entire life for the better. Your Passion On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you right now? Do you really, truly want to succeed? Are you thrilled with your goals for today? Is your passion at 8, 9 or 10? If not, you must learn to generate more passion for your work, your career and your life. Leadership To succeed you must be a leader, if only a leader of one person: you. "In all great leaders there is a purpose and intensity which is unmistakable." -- L. Ron Hubbard Have you noticed how the best speeches of politicians, ministers or actors always include high-volume intensity? Their passion is unmistakable! You also see this in the most successful people you know. Fortunately, you can generate all the passion you need to succeed. You have the ability to motivate yourself; to concentrate on your purpose; to get yourself excited about what you do. Your attitude sets the mood for everyone around you. They get excited if you are excited. For example, recommendations you give to others that come from your heart have a much bigger impact than recommendations you give with no passion behind them. "A man who merely wants to be liked will never be a leader. A broad examination of history shows clearly that men follow those they respect. Respect is a recognition of inspiration, purpose and competence and personal force or power." -- L. Ron Hubbard There is nothing stronger than a leader with a firm direction and passion to get there. Your Purpose When you organize all of your energy, your resources and your activities toward one focused goal, you not only feel more joy in what you are doing, you get more accomplished. To do this, you need to follow a purpose. What makes you passionate? For example, for which of these objectives can you generate the most passion and intensity? * Reaching a specific goal * Accomplishing a certain level of perfection * Earning the money to buy something you really need or want * Going back to an original purpose * Beating a challenge * Filling your life with as much happiness as possible * Fulfilling a duty to yourself or your family * Helping a great number of people * Creating a superior reputation * Building a highly-successful business * Helping others achieve success * Becoming the best at what you do * Hitting a specific production target * Making a positive impact on society Once you select a purpose or game for which you can be passionate, go for it! Get intense! Use it to help you generate personal force and power. Use your purpose to overwhelm all obstacles and barriers. Stay focused on your end results. Never doubt your ability to win the game. Create all the passion you need to succeed. Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
TipsForSuccess: How to Be More Popular
| Five Ways to Be More Popular Many people believe the route to success is to be interesting--to show off or act like someone else. For example, many teenagers can't understand why they are unpopular. They learned as children that to get attention they should act up a little; to be cute or interesting. Yet later on as teens, they find acting interesting does not make them popular. To handle their unpopularity, these teenagers might despise people or become loners. Or they get involved in smoking, drinking, shoplifting, drugs, sex, guns and so on. Acting interesting can ruin your adult life as well. Show-off employees, self-centered managers and pompous business owners rarely succeed. Why not? Because the secret to popularity is not to be interesting, but to be interested! "When a person becomes terribly interesting he has lots of problems, believe me. That is the chasm which is crossed by all of your celebrities, anybody who is foolish enough to become famous. He crosses over from being interested in life to being interesting. And people who are interesting are really no longer interested in life. It's very baffling to some young fellow why he can't make some beautiful girl interested in him. Well, she is not interested, she is interesting." -- L. Ron Hubbard If you are an actor, you must be interesting while you are acting. It's part of the job. Seminar speakers must be interesting to keep the attention of their audiences. The best comedians, models and magicians are interesting, even fascinating. Yet in real life, if you try to be interesting and only do things to get attention and admiration, people will get tired of you. You only feel good if people approve of you. You are not very helpful. When your attention is more on others than on yourself, you feel less stress. You act and respond with more intelligence. When you are interested, you are extroverted and effective. Examples In each example, who do you think is most popular? 1. While on a date, Chris talks about his expensive car, his karate trophies and all his money. Jim, on the other hand, compliments his date and asks about her family, her hobbies and her interests. 2. At your cousin's wedding, Aunt Maggie tells everyone how her wedding had 500 guests, a live band and 100 doves. Aunt Judy is thrilled to see her nieces and nephews and learns all about their school accomplishments. 3. Jill and Toni both want the office manager job at an office supply store. Jill tells the boss about how great she is with people, with computers and with employees. Toni asks questions about the last office manager, the office's problems and what the boss needs and wants from the office manager. 4. You tell Jacob and Tom, "I just found out that my business is finally making a profit. I'm so relieved!" Tom asks, "Wow! How the heck did you do it?" Jacob says, "Did I tell you about my first business? It was profitable the first week and . . . " Five Ways to Be More Popular To get people to support you, to like you, to open up to you, you must be interested in them. 1. Practice shifting your attention from yourself onto other people. Force yourself to observe them and understand them. You might be surprised at what you see! 2. Discover things about people that interest you. "What is interesting about Joe? What else is interesting about Joe?" Make a new habit of automatically getting interested in each person you see. 3. If you catch yourself acting like someone else, showing off or topping people's stories, you are being interesting. If instead you get interested, you will feel more natural, more like yourself. The fact is, you are most effective when you are simply being yourself. 4. When people make you nervous or shy, get interested in them. Take your attention off of yourself and put it on to them. With practice, this will make you calm, even bold. 5. Focus on how you can help the person in front of you. Replace your tendency to act interesting with a purpose to help. Your effectiveness and popularity will soar! Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
TipsForSuccess: The Best Revenge
| The Best Revenge Do you want to hurt someone because he or she hurt you? Do you need to get even? Are you seeking revenge? You might think the best revenge is to destroy your enemies. Make them regret ever messing with you. Prove you are more powerful. For example, Peter and his wife Samantha owned the best restaurant in town. Yet when Peter caught Samantha having an affair, he not only asked for a divorce, he decided to get even. He made sure they fought over every tiny detail of the divorce for three years. In the end, their lawyers had new Mercedes; Peter and Samantha had nothing. Fighting an enemy can take over your life and cost you enormous amounts of money and time. For example, you get into a car accident, hurt your back and sue the automobile company for an unsafe design. You then spend years proving you are a victim and suffering, when instead, you should be working on your success. Some people think the best way to get revenge is with violence. They throw a rock, punch a nose or start a war. Yet if you use violence for revenge, you hurt innocent people. You destroy lives. You might even end in up in jail. So what is the best way to get revenge? "Sometimes others seek to crush one down, to make nothing out of one’s hopes and dreams, one’s future and one, himself. "By ridicule and many other means, another who is evil-intentioned toward one can try to bring about one’s decline. "It is sometimes necessary to handle such directly. But there is a long range handling that seldom fails. "The real handling of such a situation and such people, the real way to defeat them is to flourish and prosper. "Oh, yes, it is true that such people, seeing one improve his lot*, can become frantic and attack all the harder. The thing to do is handle them if one must but don’t give up flourishing and prospering for that is what such people want you to do. If you flourish and prosper more and more, such people go into apathy** about it; they can give it up completely. "And that is my wish for you: flourish and prosper!" -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Way to Happiness (*lot: one’s destiny or condition in life) (**apathy: complete failure, no feeling, no emotion) 10 Benefits of Getting Revenge by Flourishing and Prospering 1. You feel powerful, not like a victim. 2. Your enemy gives up. 3. Your personal image is improved. 4. You do not waste your time or money in a fight you might lose. 5. You are more motivated to be successful. 6. Bad guys cannot pull you down to their level of evil. 7. Once you defeat your enemies by succeeding, they do not try again. Of course, if they try again, you simply flourish and prosper more than ever! 8. Potential enemies see how you succeed, despite others' opposition, and don't even try. 9. Thanks to an enemy, you end up with more money, more control and more power. 10. You are much, much happier. Learn more about "The Way to Happiness" at www.twth.org. Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
