TipsForSuccess: How to Be a True Friend to the World

 

How to Be a True Friend to the World   Who has the power to be your greatest enemy? Bad bosses or bad employees? Rotten neighbors? Terrorists? Unfriendly drivers on the freeway? Actually, none of them. Your greatest potential enemy is you.   No one can ruin your life like you can. No one can pull the plug on your career as effectively as you. No one can wreck your marriage like you.   When you criticize yourself or hate yourself, you become your own worst enemy.    In a book called "Self Analysis," L. Ron Hubbard writes, "Probably the most neglected friend you have is you. And yet every man, before he can be a true friend to the world, must first become a friend to himself."    When you have a high opinion of yourself, you are less afraid. You have confidence. You can make progress.   As a good friend to yourself, you stop doubting yourself. You like yourself. You expect you will succeed.   When times get tough, you can rely on yourself. When the whole world seems to oppose you, you will have at least one supporter. Even when your body stops working, you will still have a loyal friend with you.   To become a true friend to yourself, first set a goal to become your own best friend.   With this goal in mind, you can then change a few attitudes. For example, if you beat yourself up for something you did wrong in the past, knock it off. You did what you thought was right at the time. Forgive yourself, decide to never do it again and move on.   If you criticize yourself, maybe someone made you believe these criticisms. Stop agreeing with this person.   At least be fair to yourself. For every critical thought you have about yourself, balance the scales with a positive thought. Why not compliment yourself from time to time?   Be kind to yourself. Buy yourself a gift. Pat yourself on the back.   If you don't like yourself, you may not have many friends. How can you expect people to like you if you don't like you?   Yet as soon you are a true friend to yourself, you will find it easy to have many friendships and become a true friend to the world.   Click here to learn more about L. Ron Hubbard's book, "Self Analysis."   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.    Copyright © 2011 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.   Subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org at www.tipsforsuccess.org.

 

 

TipsForSuccess: Why You Should Give More Than You Receive

 

 

Why You Should Give More Than You Receive Life is not fair. Perhaps you give more gifts and holiday cheer than anyone gives to you. You may give great advice, but never get thanked for it. Maybe you donate more than your fair share to those who are less fortunate than you. And that's a good thing! "A human being feels able and competent only so long as he is permitted to contribute as much or more than he has contributed to him." -- L. Ron Hubbard For example, you promise to work five extra hours for your client, Joe. During those hours, you are focused, efficient and professional. You get so involved with the job, you forget to watch the clock and end up working for almost six hours, but still only charge for five. Joe is impressed and you are proud. Your future with Joe feels secure. As another example, you tell Chris, "You poor thing! You don't need to work. We'll just give you money each month." At first, Chris thinks this is a great deal. But soon, she wonders, "Am I so useless that no one wants me to work? Can't I make a contribution here?" She feels unable and incompetent. If you then get Chris to do some work for the money, she feels happy and secure. As a final example, you encourage your children to contribute to the family. Your four-year old sweeps the floors each day. Your ten-year-old takes care of the pets. Your fifteen-year-old washes your car every week. Your family is happy as everyone feels able and competent. "A man can over-contribute and feel secure in an environment. He feels insecure the moment he under-contributes, which is to say, gives less than he receives. If you don't believe this, recall a time when everyone else brought something to the party but you didn't. How did you feel?  -- L. Ron Hubbard Recommendation Give a bit more to others than they give to you. Contribute excessive time, gifts, money or other forms of help to good causes or good people. Do not expect an extra exchange. Continue to over-contribute whenever you can. Instead of having a fair exchange with others, arrange for an abundant exchange, with you always giving more than you receive. As a result, you will feel more able, more competent and more secure. All three are important ingredients to your success! Happy Holidays! Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.    Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.   Subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org at www.tipsforsuccess.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm.   Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org.

 

TipsForSuccess: Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed

Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed "You are treating yourself in present time much as you were treated by others in the past. And you punish yourself far more than anyone would ever punish you." -- L. Ron Hubbard How have people treated you in the past? Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way? Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success. False Ideas At some point, you may have accepted the following ideas to be true. "If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!" "I respect Joe's opinion. Joe thinks I'm an idiot. So I must be an idiot." "If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone." Of course, all ideas like these are nonsense. True Ideas To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself. "Actually you are a giant tied down with cotton lint. You tied the knots and furnished the string and said where you'd lie." "The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world." -- L. Ron Hubbard Three Tips for Improving Your Opinion about Yourself 1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems. For example, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I'm such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I'm taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don't mess up again. Great idea!" 2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion. For example, "I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I'm eating more vegetables these days. I haven't gotten angry at my kids for a month. I'm earning more money this year. I'm helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . ." 3. If you want to permanently improve your opinion of yourself, you need to go deeper. The solution lies below your conscious level. "Dianetics: The Evolution of a Science" explains how you can find and erase the roots of your irrational thoughts. Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?

Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children? People who feel they failed as parents often share a common regret: "I did not show my kids my love often enough." On the other hand, no one ever regrets giving their children too much affection. "Affection could no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline." -- L. Ron Hubbard Giving a child an unlimited supply of toys and presents makes it difficult for a child to return a real exchange. But giving a child an unlimited supply of love and affection is something a child can happily return to you . . . in abundance. This advice applies to marriages as well. Showing a large amount lot of affection might put your spouse into a happy state of shock, but he or she will not be spoiled by it. Go try it! Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: Complicated Problems

Complicated Problems "THE DEGREE OF COMPLEXITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF NONCONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard If you can't face something, it gets complicated. It scares you, confuses you, upsets you. Your inability to confront the problem makes it complex. For example, Pete wants a girlfriend, but every time he talks to a woman, he looks at his feet, sweats and stammers. He is terrified of women. His nonconfront is a big problem. Simply chatting with a female seems very confusing to Pete. So he decides to face his fear of talking to women. He starts talking to any female he can. He talks to his sister, an older woman in a store, the librarian, a few of his female coworkers and his friend's wife. Sooner or later Pete realizes women are just people and not out to hurt him. He enjoys chatting and laughing with them. Finding a girlfriend seems much easier to Pete. "THE DEGREE OF SIMPLICITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF CONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard People who can take on complicated subjects are not afraid of them. For example, your roof leaks. To you, it's complicated: Which shingle should I remove? How do you remove shingles? Where do you buy new shingles? But to a professional roofer, the problem is simple. You watch him fix the roof. He pulls a few nails, digs out the bad shingles and installs the new ones. You confronted the process and it now looks simple. How to Take Apart Problems "To take apart a problem requires only to establish what one could not or would not confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard All you need to do is figure out exactly what you cannot confront and you slice apart the problem. For example, you want to start a t-shirt business. But instead of swimming in the confusion, or hiring someone to confront it for you, you ask yourself this question: "What about this problem is difficult for me to face? What can't I confront about it?" You write down five things you can't confront. 1. Signing a long-term store space lease is scary. 2. T-shirt manufacturers seem like mean people. 3. What if the banker laughs at my loan application? 4. I'm afraid I'll hire bad employees. 5. My advertising ideas might make me look stupid. Just making the list makes you feel better. Starting a business appears less chaotic. Then, you confront each individual item on your list. You ask dozens of questions about leasing store space. You use a dictionary to figure out every paragraph of the lease. You understand the lease and happily sign it. Next, you meet with a few t-shirt manufacturers. You discover they are very nice people. You meet with a banker. You interview a few potential employees. You find out the kind of advertising you need to attract customers. After facing all five items on your list, you realize it's not hard to make a t-shirt business succeed! Recommendations What are the problems you face on your road to success? What seems too complicated? Take each problem apart by establishing what you can't confront. Write down everything that makes you afraid, anxious or angry. Everything about the problem that is difficult for you to face. Then confront each piece. Get in there and deal with it. Persist until you can comfortably face each part of the confusion. If a piece of the puzzle seems too big or complex, break it down as well. Eventually, through courage, you solve the complexity. Success, and life itself, becomes simple! Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.