TipsForSuccess: How to Be More Popular

 

How to Be More Popular: Interested vs. Interesting Many people believe the route to success is to be interesting--to show off or act like someone else. For example, many teenagers can't understand why they are unpopular. They learned as children that to get attention they should act up a little; to be cute or interesting. Yet later on as teenagers, they find acting interesting does not make them popular. To handle their unpopularity, they might despise people or become loners. Or they try harmful acts: smoking, drinking, shoplifting, drugs, sex, guns and so on. Acting interesting can ruin your adult life as well. Show-off employees, self-centered managers and pompous business owners rarely succeed. Why not? Because the secret to popularity is not to be interesting, but to be interested. "When a person becomes terribly interesting he has lots of problems, believe me. That is the chasm which is crossed by all of your celebrities, anybody who is foolish enough to become famous. He crosses over from being interested in life to being interesting. And people who are interesting are really no longer interested in life. It's very baffling to some young fellow why he can't make some beautiful girl interested in him. Well, she is not interested, she is interesting." -- L. Ron Hubbard If you are an actor on stage, you are interesting while acting. Seminar speakers are interesting. Comedians, models and magicians are interesting. Being interesting is part of these jobs. Yet in real life, on a one-on-one basis, interesting people are irritating. They only do things to get your attention and admiration. They believe they are on a stage performing for an audience of one. If you want people to cooperate with you, to like you or to open up to you, you must be interested. Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on others. Notice what makes them happy or unhappy. Your attention will shift from you to them. When your thoughts are more on others than on yourself, you feel less stress. You act and respond with more intelligence. Your activity level increases and you have more fun. When you are interested, people love your interest in them. They want to be around you. You are more popular. Five Ways to Be More Interested 1. Shift your attention from yourself onto other people or objects. Take a good look at the people in the world around you. This is also a great stress reliever. 2. Find things about people that interest you. "What is interesting about Joe? What else is interesting about Joe?" Make a habit of getting interested in each person you see. 3. If you catch yourself acting like someone else, you are being interesting. Simply get interested in the person in front of you and you'll feel more natural. You are most effective when you are simply being yourself. 4. When people make you nervous or shy, get interested in them. Take your attention off of yourself and put it on to them. With practice, this will make you calm, even bold. 5. Focus on how you can help others. Let your interest in helping people replace your tendency to act interesting. Your effectiveness and popularity will soar. Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: "It's Not My Job!"

TipsForSuccess: Are You Controlling Money or Is Money Controlling You?

 

"It's Not My Job!" According to an Inc. magazine survey, most executives hate hearing this statement: "It's not my job." The same survey found most employees hate it when they are pulled off to do someone else's job. For example, the employees of a famous restaurant in Los Angeles are members of a labor union. They dislike doing other people's work so much that their union contract covers this point. "We will not do anyone else's job." So if someone drops food or dishes on the floor, the food servers, busboys and cooks may not clean up the mess. The restaurant manager must either clean the mess or call in a janitor. The owner said, "I was eating with a group of friends to celebrate my wife's birthday when a waiter dropped a bottle of wine. He just looked at the mess and walked away. No one would clean it up because of the union contract. So I got up from my meal, grabbed a mop and cleaned up the wine while the restaurant employees, and my friends, all watched." Another restaurant has the opposite problem. You walk in and see a full restaurant, but no workers. Everyone is off doing something else. The chef comes out of the bathroom, notices you standing there and yells at a busboy to help you. The busboy wipes his hands, grabs two menus and takes you to a messy table. The hostess runs over and helps the busboy clean up while you watch. Your waitress runs by to answer the telephone. Everyone is doing all the jobs. So which approach is best? "No one may do other people's jobs" or "Everyone should do all the jobs." If you think neither approach is correct, you are right! The best way to work this out is with one of two solutions. First Solution "Anything in an organization is your job if it lessens the confusion if you do it." -- L. Ron Hubbard For example, you work in a doctor's office as a file clerk. You notice the receptionist is scheduling two patients while the telephone is ringing, and three kids are on the floor hitting each other. Would you lessen the confusion by helping? Or would your assistance just increase the confusion? In this case, it would reduce confusion if you stepped in and helped. Even though you are the file clerk, it IS your job to assist. You get the kids to quiet down and then answer the telephone. The patients schedule their appointments and the receptionist thanks you. Another example: You work at a newspaper selling ad space. Someone bursts into your office and says, "Three FBI agents are here and they want all our files! What should we do?" Do you get the files? Call an attorney? Have a discussion with the FBI agents? Because you have nothing to do with the legal branch of the newspaper, it is NOT your job. Taking action would ADD confusion. You wisely say, "Go tell the boss" and you go back to work. If your boss asks you to help reduce confusion, it IS your job to help. "Linda! Get the fire extinquisher!" What should staff members do if ordered to do something that would ADD confusion? For example, a restaurant manager asks the chef, "Please stroll around the tables and chat with customers. They'll love it!" Yet chatting, instead of cooking, would cause confusion, especially in a busy restaurant. The chef knows his job is to lessen, not cause confusion, so he refuses. How can he cook meals if he is strolling around the restaurant? So what should an employee say to a boss who gives an improper job assignment? Second Solution "If an executive asks you to do somebody else's job -- don't. Say, instead, `Am I transferred?'" -- L. Ron Hubbard So when the restaurant manager asks the chef to stroll around and chat with customers, the chef says, "Am I transferred? Am I now the host?" The restaurant manager, seeing his mistake, says, "No, sorry. You're the chef. Go back to work." You get your boss to look at the big picture so he or she makes the best decision. As another example, you are hired to set up computers for an insurance company. You are working under a desk when your boss comes over and says, "When you are done there, please fix the front door." You say, "Am I transferred to building maintenance? I'll be happy to fix doors instead of setting up computers, if you like, but I have ten more to set up today." The boss realizes the computers are more important and says, "Forget the front door." On the other hand, the boss may wish to transfer you to building maintenance. "Yes, you are transferred." You can then say, "No problem" or "I'll do the maintenance job, but I want a raise." Summary You can solve every question about "Whose job is this?" with the first or second solution above. Whenever you wonder if you should do a job, ask, "Will it reduce confusion if I do it?" or "Am I being transferred to a different job?" If you are a boss, ask the same questions. "Will it reduce confusion if I get this person to do it?" or "Do I want to transfer this person?" Your answers will give you the correct decision. Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

Are You Controlling Money or Is Money Controlling You? Even if you do not make much money, you can and should be in full control of your money. 10 Signs Money Is Controlling You You constantly worry about paying your bills You often wish you could buy more things Your only goal in life is to get rich, but you have no realistic plan You spend money to feel better You blame others for your financial problems (government, boss, spouse) You judge people based on the amount of money they own You lie, cheat or steal to get money; even a little lying or cheating shows money is controlling you You take unnecessary financial risks You use credit to buy things that decrease in value, such as expensive cars or expensive clothing Money controls your mood-you feel good or bad based on your finances 10 Signs You Are Controlling Money   You decide to buy something, save the money, and get what you want You buy things that increase in value You invest in yourself, such as more education or personal improvement You donate to causes you believe in, even if just small amounts You keep your financial agreements You have good credit You pay your taxes Cheating you out of your money is very difficult Each year, your earning power improves and financial worth increases You use money as a tool to follow your dreams and reach your goals Five Ways to Control Money 1. Spend your money according to a plan. "THE LESS AMOUNT OF INCOME AN ORGANIZATION OR AN INDIVIDUAL HAS, THE MORE CAREFULLY AND WISELY FINANCIAL PLANNING MUST BE DONE." -- L. Ron Hubbard If you spend money as you get it, or to pay off squeaky wheels, you have no plan. You spend a few bucks here and a few bucks there until your money is gone. Instead, take control and write a financial spending plan. Decide in advance how you will spend your money. When you plan your spending, you make wiser decisions. Examples: "If I buy these extra classes, I'll get a raise." "I want a new car and will set aside $60 per week until I have the full amount." "If I pay off this credit card with the minimum payments, it'll take me 23 YEARS to pay it off! I'd better pay $100 extra each month and cut the stupid thing in half!" 2. Never spend more than you make. "Make all the money you can. Spend less than that. That's the simple ABC of financial control." -- L. Ron Hubbard When planning your spending, ensure you follow the above rule. For example, "Each week I will set aside $______ for the house, 10% to education, 5% to savings, pay current bills and buy food. Anything left can be spent on fun things like movies and vacations." 3. Stop wasting your time trying to get money without earning it. "One has to produce something to exchange for money." "One exchanges something valuable for something valuable." -- L. Ron Hubbard Do not gamble, play the lottery or try to cheat others. Do not wait for your fortune to arrive or expect someone to hand you money. Count only on yourself. Get rich the old reliable way. Create something valuable and exchange it for the money you want. You deserve it, because you earn it. 4. Increase your productivity and improve the quality of your work. "Produce in abundance and try to give better-than-expected quality." -- L. Ron Hubbard For example, if you give haircuts for a living, find ways to make your customers' hair look more beautiful. If you fix furnaces and usually fix two per day, figure out how to fix three furnaces per day . . . and then train and manage other furnace-repair people. 5. Make constant, steady progress. "THE TOTALITY* OF POWER IS ORDERLY PROGRESS." -- L. Ron Hubbard *(Totality: quality or state of being total or complete.) Keep track of your financial progress. For example, make a graph showing your total debts and total savings. Then make sure your savings go up every month and your debts go down every month, even if just a little bit. When you know you are steadily improving your financial condition, you are controlling it. Once you are in control of money, you can focus on your more important purposes.   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: How to Influence People

 

How to Influence Others Everything you want in life requires the support or cooperation of other individuals. Your success depends on people. Objects do not make you successful. For example, real estate will not make you wealthy. It's the people who rent or buy your real estate. If you invented a better telephone, it would not make you wealthy. Your money would come from the people who wanted this telephone. A business does not succeed because it has a beautiful office space, fancy brochures or a brilliant plan. It succeeds because people buy your product or service. It also succeeds because the staff members do their work. Humans relations, not things, make or break your future success. So why are people rude to you? Why do they break their agreements with you? What makes them avoid you? How People Decide to Treat You "There is an interesting phenomenon* at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One ... actually sets an example of how he should be treated. A is mean to B so B is mean to A. A is friendly to B so B is friendly to A." -- L. Ron Hubbard (* phenomenon = an observable fact.) If you are blunt with people, they will be blunt with you. If you try to cheat people, they will try to cheat you. If you push them down, they will push you down. If you list all the bad things people do to you, you will find you also do these bad things. For example, you feel upset when Joe ignores you. So you think it over and realize you have been upsetting Sally by ignoring her. So you go chat with Sally and make her cheerful. Joe then talks to you . . . or you no longer care if Joe talks to you. Either way, you are no longer upset. How this Principle Can Make You Successful If you are honest with people, they are honest with you. If you encourage them, they encourage you. If you give them what they need, they will give you what you need. "When one is lucky enough to get to meet and talk to the men and women who are at the top of their professions, one is struck by an observation often made that they are just about the nicest people you ever met. That is one of the reasons they are at the top: they try, most of them, to treat others well." "Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgivingness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity*? "It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?" -- L. Ron Hubbard (* integrity = sticking to one's principles.) What should you do if you want to be a big success? Simply work out how you want others to treat you. For example, insurance salesman John wants people to return his calls. He makes 150 calls per day and mostly just leaves messages. Only one or two people return his calls. He can't make a living this way. He asks himself, "How should I treat others? How would I want to be treated?" He answers himself, "Well, I hate sales calls and never return them myself. Let's see, if a salesman had something I might want to buy, how should he contact me? I'd prefer a personal letter. I'd want him to take a little interest in me, to care about me and try to save me money. Hey! I'm going to give it a try!" John sits down to write personal letters and has another realization. "Hey! I don't know anything about these people! I need to do some research." He then starts a system to record details about everyone he can. Where they live, what they do, their hobbies, their pets' names and so on. Soon his letters are personalized. "Dear Chris, I thought you'd like a copy of this article about row boats. Also, if you want me to check your car insurance, I might save you some money. Yours, John." "Hi Pat! It was great seeing you at the soccer game yesterday. I thought you would like this brochure about our new flood insurance. I think we have the best prices. John. P.S. Let me know if you change your mind about helping us coach the team. " Before he sends each letter, he asks himself: "Would I want to be treated this way?" Soon, John is selling more insurance than ever before. Five Steps for Improving Human Relations You can improve the way people treat you in many ways. For example: 1. Make a list of everyone who influences you. Everyone you depend on. Everyone who can make you successful. Include your boss or employees, customers, coworkers and colleagues. 2. Write down how you want these people to treat you. For example, kind, interested, honest, cooperative, friendly, patient, fair, generous and so on. 3. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-5 for each of these characteristics. 4. Each day, work to improve one or more of these characteristics in yourself. Treat everyone, not just the people you depend on, in the ways you want to be treated. Raise your rating to a 5 for each characteristic. 5. Persist for a few months and watch the results! Try these steps with your family or your romantic relationship, as well! This principle about human relations comes from The Way to Happiness. You can buy a copy of the booklet, or download a free copy, from the Way to Happiness Foundation at www.twth.org.   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details. To subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: Take Charge of Your Life

 

Take Charge of Your Life You cannot succeed if you are confused. Your education, skills and experience are made useless by confusion. For example, you want to earn more money. So you take a computer class and learn to use Microsoft Office software. You gain the education to earn more pay, but because you are confused about what to now do, you do nothing. Every failure starts with a confusion. As another example, you want to raise your teenage boy to be happy and successful. One day, you find strange pills and marijuana in his room. You want to punish him, but you still hate your parents for punishing you. So you become confused and ineffective. Confusion makes you stop and worry. It spins you around and stops your progress. If your boss says, "You're fired!" or your spouse says, "I want a divorce," the confusion can wipe you out for weeks. Confusion makes you give up your goals. You decide you can't start a business, have a happy marriage or get rich. You "accept reality," keep your dead-end job and just hope for the best. Confusion and the Stable Datum In Chapter Two of his book The Problems of Work, L. Ron Hubbard shows how you can solve confusions by simply grasping one part of the confusion. "The switchboard operator receiving ten calls at once solves the confusion by labeling, correctly or incorrectly, one call as the first call to receive her attention. The confusion of ten calls all at once becomes less confusing the moment she singles out one call to be answered." "Until one selects one datum*, one factor*, one particular* in a confusion of particles, the confusion continues. The one thing selected and used becomes the stable datum for the remainder." -- L. Ron Hubbard *(Datum: one fact or piece of information. Factor: element or ingredient. Particular: a single thing; separate and distinct) Example: Your first job was working at Tom's Car Repair Shop. When Tom retires, the shop goes out of business. Your feel confused as you've never had another job. Your head spins with too many thoughts. You sit at home and worry. So you select one thing as your stable datum: "I am a great mechanic. I can fix anything." You suddenly relax. Your head stops spinning. "I'm a GREAT MECHANIC!" Because you feel less confused and more confident, you get a great job fixing airplanes at United Airlines. No matter what confusion is blocking your success, the "Confusion and Stable Datum" technique can clear your mind and help you take positive action. Three Easy Steps You can use this technique in many ways. For example: 1. Write down a problem, situation or project that is on your mind. It can be anything that is difficult, disorganized or confusing. 2. Write down the result you wish to accomplish. What is the optimum conclusion? If everything goes well, what will happen with this problem, situation or project? What would make you feel you resolved the problem or completed the project? 3. Finally, write down the NEXT PHYSICAL ACTION STEP you need to take. This is your stable datum. What can you do? What act will move you closer to the optimum condition? If you had nothing else to do besides work on this project, what single thing would you do? "Schedule a meeting" is too vague. Instead, be specific. Examples: "Tell Jackson to find the Smith file." "Watch the training video." "Buy a box of folders." "Make ten calls by noon." "Clean out the closet." "Train Nancy to answer the telephone politely." Selecting a specific action puts you in charge. You feel some control of the situation. You don't even need to do the action; just working it out gives you a stable datum and blows off the confusion. For example, your finances are a mess. You do not know how much money you have or who you owe. Your bills do not get paid on time. You are so worried and confused, you avoid the problem. You take one minute and write down the following: "1. Situation: My finances are a confused mess." "2. Objective: Organize my finances so I pay my bills properly." "3. Action Step: Before doing anything else, go to the bank and open a new checking account." Suddenly, your head clears up. You no longer worry about the big confusion; you just focus on opening a new bank account. You select a stable datum and stop the confusion. Any action step can act as the stable datum: "Buy a calculator." "Put all my bills in one folder." "Cut up my credit cards." The action step does not need to be the BEST action step for this principle to work; any action step or any stable datum is fine. You have correctly selected a stable datum when the confusion blows off. Benefits * Working out a stable datum for the confusion helps you organize your thoughts. You free up your attention so you can focus on other things. * As soon as you have time to work on the project, you have a starting point. You can focus on one specific act, not a big cloudy mess. * You feel less stress and more confidence. * You feel motivated and energized to take action. * You are one step closer to your goals and ultimate success. Before you do anything else today, try the above three steps on your biggest problem, distraction or confusion. Additional Tip for Your Success Use the free planning tools at our interactive coaching website: www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org. This step-by-step system can give you stable datums for all of your confusions. Give it a try! Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details. To subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.