TipsForSuccess: December 2005

TipsForSuccess: Why You Need Goals

TipsForSuccess: How to Be a Great Person

Why You Need Goals

To make 2006 your most successful year ever, you need exciting goals.

The following article is excerpted from "How to Set Exciting Goals You Can Reach," a free e-booklet you can download at www.tipsforsuccess.org/goals-link.htm.

"Without goals, hopes, ambitions or dreams, the attainment of pleasure is nearly impossible." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Fifteen Signs You Need to Set Some Goals

1. You want to accomplish something great, but you don't know what to do.

2. Even though you are busy, you accomplish little.

3. Little problems seem like big problems.

4. You hate your work or other parts of your life.

5. Nothing interests or excites you; you have little passion for what you are doing.

6. Staying focused or concentrating is difficult.

7. You are waiting for someone else to give you opportunities or make you successful.

8. Even if you seem more successful than others, you are still unhappy.

9. You spread out a little work to fill your whole day.

10. Your life seems to be going downhill.

11. Your days are filled with meaningless motion.

12. Negative feelings are controlling your life: apathy, depression, fear, grief, pain, hopelessness, anxiety, anger, jealousy, revenge and so on.

13. You wonder what will happen to you in the future.

14. You know your potential is unlimited, yet you do not change.

15. Life does not contain much happiness or pleasure.

Even if you realize you need to set goals, you might use one or more of the following excuses.

Top Ten Excuses For Not Setting Goals

10. "I don't know how to set goals."

9. "I set some goals one time, but it didn't make any difference."

8. "I would rather do what others want me to do."

7. "I'll probably fail anyway, so why try?"

6. "I don't need to improve anything."

5. "My life is not in my control."

4. "I just keep changing my mind on what I want."

3. "Why set goals? I'll forget about them."

2. "Success is too much work."

1. "I don't have time to set goals."

However, these excuses are less valid when you consider the amazing benefits you earn from having goals.

Ten Benefits of Goals

1. If you have goals, you have direction. You can invest your time and effort in a specific way that pays off.

A race car that is chained to the ground is the same as having no goals. You push on the gas pedal and the engine roars. The tires spin and smoke. Yet no matter how hard you push on the pedal, you go nowhere.

2. When opportunities pop up that can help you reach a goal, you recognize and seize them.

Opportunities are all around you. The trick is noticing them. When you have a goal in mind, opportunities are easier to see.

For example, when you decide to buy a red Chevy truck, you suddenly notice dozens of red Chevy trucks on the road. Before you had the goal of getting the truck, you probably drove past red Chevy trucks every day and never noticed them.

When you have a goal in mind, you see ways to reach your goal you never noticed before.

3. You make better decisions.

When faced with an important choice, you simply ask yourself, "Which of these options will best help me reach my goal? Will Plan A help me with my goal or will Plan B do it best?"

Like a flashlight in the night, your goal lights up your best choice.

4. Goals motivate you and give you energy.

For example, when you are preparing to go on vacation, you get more done in less time. You have a firm goal to finish several tasks and then go on your trip. The excitement of the vacation helps you work hard and fast without getting tired.

5. You have more control of your life.

When events in life knock you around, goals can put you back in control. For example, you get arrested by the police and spend time in jail for something you did not do. The day after you are released from jail, you focus on your goals and continue onward. The bad incident does not ruin your life.

6. You can have greater confidence. You can take the initiative. You can be a leader.

Imagine you and your group are lost in the wilderness. You alone know the correct direction to hike. You would not follow someone else. You would not sit down and worry. You would take the initiative and lead your group to safety. Goals give you the same level of confidence.

7. You can determine if your current activity contributes to your overall success or not.

For example, you find yourself digging a hole in the ground. You ask yourself, "Why am I digging this hole?" You then realize, "Oh, yeah! I'm building my own house and need a good basement." Or you realize, "Wait a minute. This hole is for my buddy's house! He's pretty persuasive! He already owes me plenty. It's time to go dig my own basement."

As another example, you are frustrated and cannot sleep because you accomplished nothing worthwhile during the day. But then you realize you took three good steps toward one of your goals. You pat yourself on the back and fall asleep.

8. Long-range goals help you solve short-term problems.

For example, you and your spouse have a long-term goal of raising your three children to be happy, healthy, honest and productive. You keep that goal in mind when your son is caught stealing a jacket at the shopping mall. Of course, you work out a punishment, but you also use the incident to teach your son the benefits of honesty. The big picture helps you take wiser actions.

9. Your plans are more effective.

Each morning, you can plan your day based on your goals. For example, "What can I do today that will take me one step closer to my goal of becoming independently wealthy?"

Weekly plans, monthly plans and yearly plans give you better results when you line them up and match them to specific goals.

10. Goals give you hope for a better future. Goals make you happier.

Watch the fans at a football or baseball game. They have a goal to win the game. For a few hours, the goal helps them escape the problems of life. Even if they lose, they have fun.

Goals help you make life more enjoyable, even exhilarating. Goals give you a natural "high" you can never achieve from chemicals or other artificial means.

"Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Free E-Booklet

Deep inside you are big, exciting goals that you can reach in 2006. "How to Set Exciting Goals You Can Reach" is a booklet that can help you uncover these goals so you move your life in a new, more interesting direction.

Because this e-booklet is free, you can keep it in your computer, print copies and e-mail it to friends.

Go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/goals-link.htm for instructions to read or download the e-booklet.

Happy New Year!

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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How to Be a Great Person

Religious leaders may disagree about many things, but they all have one message in common. They all recommend you do one important thing in your life. You hear this same message in every religion on Earth, especially during the holidays.

You might find this recommendation difficult to follow. For some people, it's nearly impossible to live this way. However, when you use this advice, you earn the most wonderful gifts available to you.

Not only does this advice make you happy, it lowers your stress and boosts your intelligence. You face difficult situations with less fear. You love everyone around you.

What Is Greatness?

"The hardest task one can have is to continue to love his fellows despite all reasons he should not."

"For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope.

"For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair. And these are not the things of which greatness, or sanity or happiness are made.

"A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate.

"Never use what is done to one as a basis for hatred. Never desire revenge.

"It requires real strength to love man*. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.

"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Man: mankind; the human race.)

Examples

1. As soon as you arrive at your family's party, your stomach twists when you see your Aunt Jane. Ever since you were young, Aunt Jane has criticized you. "Well, managing a shoe store is fine, but I thought you'd be a successful doctor, like your father." "I was completely surprised to see your daughter's eyes are blue since you and your wife have brown eyes."

If you had known Aunt Jane would be at the family gathering, you would have found a good excuse to miss it. You want to leave, but then she sees you. "There you are! Have you been avoiding me?"

You decide to be a great person and love your Aunt Jane despite all reasons you should not. As you hug her, you notice she is now in her 70's. You suddenly realize she hasn't criticized you for more than 20 years. You are surprised to find you actually do love her.

2. You are driving down the road enjoying some music and some idiot cuts in front of you. You slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. You send him a mental curse and hope he has a rotten life.

You notice you feel rotten. You blame the other driver and start driving recklessly.

So you decide to be great. You try to love the driver, but the best you can do is find a little understanding. You think, "He must be late for work." You wish him well.

Within seconds, you feel better and forget about it. You go back to enjoying your music.

3. A few years ago, you and your friend Peter bought a delivery van. He used it during the day to make deliveries from his flower shop and you used it at night to deliver newspapers.

When going to work one night, you notice the van is missing. You call Peter who says, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you that I sort of rented it to this guy. I mean, uh, well, I sold it because I had to pay off some bills. I think you owe me some money anyway, so I think we should call it even."

You can't believe he has done this to you. You yell at him and vow to never speak to him again. You jump in your car and spend all night moving newspapers.

You plot revenge in several ways. You'll spray paint his flower shop windows. You'll steal his car. You'll spread rumors about him.

Every time you think about Peter and the van, you get upset. Even two years later, you feel the hatred whenever you see a similar van. You are not pleasant to be around.

You decide to be a great person and love Peter despite all reasons you should not. Aftera few days, you decide to him.

Peter says, "I'm so glad you called! I'm sorry about the van! I've regretted selling it for years now."

You say, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too. Let's go fishing one of these days, okay?"

The van memory stops hurting you. People like being around you again. You feel great!

Five Recommendations for Becoming a Greater Person

1. Love everyone around you. People in your family, neighborhood, workplace, everyone. Love them for no reason.

2. Whenever someone tries to get you to hate him or her, refuse to play the game. Instead, generate some love for the person, even if only a small amount.

3. Make yourself mentally tougher by loving people, even your enemies. You can certainly love people without letting them control you. In fact, it's easier to face and handle difficult people if you love them.

4. Eliminate revenge as a purpose in your life. Who do you want to get even with? Change that intention into something positive.

5. Make yourself happier by loving people. Whenever you feel depressed (sorrow) or a loss of hope (despair), find someone to love. You don't even need to see or talk to the person, just love him or her.

"To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. -- L. Ron Hubbard

Excerpted from "What is Greatness?" by L. Ron Hubbard. You can read the full article at www.realhubbard.org.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

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TipsForSuccess: Lighten Up!

TipsForSuccess: How to Stop Worrying

Lighten Up!

For many of us, December is the most stressful month of the year. The weather is cold, the roads and stores are crowded and you have a lot to do.

Each day you face serious burdens. Maybe you don't make enough money. Perhaps your love life is non-existent. Your work might be unbearable.

Perhaps you dislike where you live. Your coworkers are unfriendly. You do things you regret.

If you finally decide to do something about it, what do you do?

Move to a new town? Leave your spouse? Look for a new job?

Maybe you just watch more television or drink a little more wine.

But the drudgeries or burdens always return. Life seems pretty serious.

Fortunately, you can do something right now that will change everything.

"When a man loses his Spirit of Play, he's dead." "... a guy will tell you, 'Well, I had some illusions when I was a kid, but I've lost all those. I'm practical now. We've got to face this thing practically, and what we are doing here is very serious.'"

"You want to know what seriousness is? Seriousness is solidity. You ever hear of a 'solid citizen?'

"There's nothing that succeeds like insouciance*. Plain flippancy** will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name."

"And the more seriously you take the game, the less chance there is of winning."-- L. Ron Hubbard (*Insouciance: Lack of concern, carefree.) (**Flippancy: casualness, disrespectful joy.)

Benefits

When you take things less seriously and fire up your Spirit of Play, you enjoy several benefits.

● You get more done with less effort.

● You think of new solutions that are simple and effective.

● People enjoy being around you.

● You feel healthier and more alive.

● You get more cooperation and support from others

● You have more fun.

So how do you take the game of life less seriously? How can you get more insouciant or flippant?

Recommendations

If you are in good mental shape, simply reminding yourself to lighten up can switch you from a serious mood to a light and carefree mood.

For example, you are stuck in a long traffic line waiting to get into a parking lot. You get into the parking lot and can't find a place to park. Instead of driving around giving people dirty looks, you decide to lighten up. "Why am I getting so serious about a parking space! I'll park down the street and get in some exercise."

As another example, your car breaks down. You get mad at yourself for not taking better care of it. You then criticize yourself for not making enough money. You feel like smashing your car with a hammer. Instead you say, "I'm getting too serious here! When I'm rich and successful, this will be really funny." You laugh and get your car fixed.

Another example: You and your spouse are not talking. You disagreed about something, had an argument and got very serious. You decide, "We need to lighten up!" So you act silly or tell jokes until you and your spouse laugh.

Your Spirit of Play can make or break your business or career. If you get serious, you not only feel lousy, you make others lose the joy of work. Your days drag by and you look for ways to quit. You lose more often than you win.

If you stop taking your job so seriously, you and those around you make better decisions. Your days fly by as you get more done. You win the game.

For twelve more ways to lighten up, read "Being Too Serious Can Ruin Your Success" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/seriousness.htm.

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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TipsForSuccess: Five Tips to Help Children Succeed

How to Stop Worrying

One of the most stressful aspects of managing your life, job or business is SURPRISES.

For example, you are going along, believing everything is fine, then WHAM! Your son gets arrested. Your neighbor cuts down your tree. Your car is stolen.

Any job can include surprising catastrophes. You get demoted or transferred. Your co-worker falsely accuses you of theft. Your boss screams at you.

Management surprises can be the most stressful of all. A key employee suddenly quits. A government agent walks in to do an inspection. Some crazy guy screams at your receptionist and won't leave.

Odds are good you will get hit with several surprises in your life. As a result, your forward progress can be stopped. Your production can be blocked. Your success can be ruined.

Even worse, the more successful you are, or the bigger your business becomes, the more often you might be hit with surprises.

Bad Solutions

You might be so afraid of catastrophes that you take them too seriously. You decide to stop succeeding. To earn less money. To be less aggressive, less intense or less passionate.

You believe that if you are small and insignificant, people will leave you alone. Of course, they just hunt you down.

Another bad approach is to get upset when a catastrophe occurs. You act like a victim or a coward. Yet this often makes the problem even worse. You do and say the wrong things and get hit with more surprises.

Getting numb is another bad idea. You might want to use drugs or alcohol to deaden your feelings. You try to turn off the world. But this also hurts your success as you need to clearly perceive the world around you if you wish to succeed.

Constantly worrying about surprises is another bad solution as it makes life miserable. Instead of focusing on opportunities and good results, you worry. You spend too much time thinking about problems and potential catastrophes that might happen to you.

Luckily, you can reduce your stress and worry with a little planning.

Surprise Insurance

"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Your best insurance is to predict and plan for catastrophes IN ADVANCE. Once you have a plan for handling every conceivable surprise, you can relax.

For example, you are worried you'll be in trouble with your boss because you would not wash his wife's car. You plan a positive response. "I hope I didn't offend your wife, but knew I should check with you before stopping my work to wash her car." Because you are prepared, you stop worrying. The boss never says anything about it.

When you have a plan for a disaster, you are ready for it. Instead of reacting to the problem, while upset and prone to making mistakes, you take command of the situation. You resolve it with your plan. Your prosperity continues.

For example, as a boss, you learn a former employee is suing you. If you planned for this possibility in advance, you would know exactly what to do. Your paperwork would be filed and organized. Your lawyer would send a copy of your paperwork to the employee's attorney. The employee's attorney would see you had done everything right and drop the case.

As another example, you can't sleep because you MUST get to work on time to give a presentation. So instead of tossing and turning in your bed, you turn on the lights. You write down every reason you might be late. You plan how to handle each. You set two alarm clocks and a wind-up alarm in case the power goes out. You figure out another way to get to work in case your car won't start. You lay out your clothes and set up your coffee maker. You are now prepared! You get in bed and instantly fall asleep.

The same principle works on a personal level. For example, Joe is worried his wife will be angry when she finds out he quit his job. He works out the best way to explain it to her so she can understand his reasons. Joe stops worrying and drives home. When he first gives her the news, he is ready for a bad reaction, but she is fine. Because he planned for a catastrophe, it does not happen.

Recommendation

Make a list of all the catastrophes you expect may happen to you. Include everything that makes you worry. Small things, big things, anything you can think of.

Next to each item on your list, write up a plan to handle it. Some potential catastrophes require a single preparation stop. Others need a detailed, 20-step plan.

As you do this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable and nervous. Just keep working on it. As you plan out more solutions and get prepared, you will feel more relaxed and confident than ever before. You become ready for anything!

After you finish, you will probably think of more things to add to your list. So keep it handy.

In fact, each time you feel stressed or worried about a potential problem, add the potential surprise to your list. If it's already on the list, simply add more preparation steps until you are no longer worried.

Review the list every few months. When you review old solutions, you think of new preventive steps and better solutions.

Biggest Benefit

"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard

That's right! Because you have planned for these surprises, they won't happen to you.

Give it a try!

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

Five Tips to Help Children Succeed

Raising kids is a difficult, yet important task. You can add a happy and valuable member to our world or create an unhappy problem for the world to handle. These five tips will help you.

Even if you are not currently raising children, they are a big part of your future. Today's children are tomorrow's parents and leaders. You can improve our future by helping parents raise their kids with these five tips.

The following five quotes are from The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard.

1. "What does have a workability is simply to try to be the child's friend. It is certainly true that a child needs friends."

Who were the adults in your own childhood? Who were your favorite relatives? Your favorite leaders, sports coaches or teachers? If you smile at the memory, they probably treated you like a friend, not a child.

2. "Try to find out what a child's problem really is and without crushing their own solutions, try to help solve them."

A child is a regular person in a small body. You don't own a child. He or she is starting to think. If you encourage them to solve problems, you are building their confidence.

For example, asking the right questions is often more valuable to people than giving out answers. "Why are you crying? Why was he mean to you? What do you want to do about it? Okay. What might be a better way to solve it?"

3. "Observe them--and this applies even to babies. Listen to what children tell you about their lives."

For example, you might observe a baby calms down when a football game is on the television. You may discover your three-year-old gets excited when painting flowers. An eight-year-old may give you a great idea that you've never considered.

4. "Let them help-if you don't, they become overwhelmed with a sense of obligation which they then must repress." (Repress = hold back.)

How do you feel if someone gives you money or favors, but refuses to let you return the favor in any way? Perhaps you feel worthless as you have nothing valuable to give to that person. If you are not allowed to help the person back, you'll soon dislike or distrust the person and refuse all future gifts.

"If you fold the napkins, it would really help me." "I'll give you an allowance if you take care of all the garbage for the house." "I'll feel better if you sing a song for me."

5. "A child factually does not do well without love. Most children have an abundance of it to return."

For a free download copy of The Way to Happiness, click here. To learn about the Way to Happiness Foundation, click here.

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: Why You Need Goals

TipsForSuccess: How to Be a Great Person

TipsForSuccess: Lighten Up!

TipsForSuccess: How to Stop Worrying

TipsForSuccess: Five Tips to Help Children Succeed

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