How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 2 of 3)
No matter how often you blame others, no matter how convincing your arguments, and no matter how many people agree with you, blame does not boost your productivity, increase your income or make you happier.
"Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Accepting full responsibility makes you successful. You can solve your own problems. You sit in the driver's seat of life.
Taking Responsibility is Easy
"We can define responsibility as the concept of being able to care for, to reach or to be."
"It includes guard it, help it, like it, be interested in it, etc."
"It is willingness to own or act or use or be." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Responsible people look at how they cause things. They care for people around them. They do not withdraw from difficulties, but reach out to solve them.
They can imagine how it is to be other people. They guard friendships and defend the people they work with and for. They like people and enjoy helping them.
They are naturally interested in others. They never say, "That's not my problem," but will own any problem and say, "Maybe I can help." They act and use their abilities to the advantage of all.
Based on the definition of responsibility, you can create a list of questions to ask yourself. You can use your answers as a guide toward fuller responsibility.
For example, you are having a problem with someone at work. You can ask yourself these questions.
1. CAUSE IT: How have I caused this problem with this person?
2. CARE FOR IT: What aspect of this problem can I care for?
3. REACH IT: Instead of withdrawing from it, how can I reach toward it?
4. BE IT: What would I do if I were this difficult person?
5. GUARD IT: Is there some way I can guard this person?
6. HELP IT: Is there something I can do to help this person?
7. LIKE IT: What can I do to like him or her?
8. INTERESTED IN IT: What can I do to become more interested in this person?
9. OWN IT: How can I own the problem?
10. ACT WITH IT: Can I act with this person?
11. USE IT: How can I use the problem to my benefit?
These examples show how irresponsible and responsible people deal with problems.
Not Responsible: "Hey! That guy sold me a bad car. He ripped me off! It won't even start!"
Responsible: "How did I cause this? Maybe if I'd gotten a mechanic to check it before I bought it. I should have been suspicious because the price was so low. Learned a good lesson here."
Not Responsible: "That woman I called was so mad at me I just can't work any longer. I'll just quit for today and wait to make these calls until tomorrow when I'll be feeling better."
Responsible: "How did I cause that woman to get mad? I guess I did nothing! She was angry before I called. How can I care for her? Well, she really was not mad at me, I think she's just acting out a personal problem. I should take some interest in her ask how she is next time. I'm ready to work now."
Not Responsible: "I'm not making much money these days selling houses. Maybe if all the other real estate people would quit, I would sell more houses. I think I'll tell everyone how slow business is. I need to convince them how difficult the real estate business is."
Responsible: "How can I care for this competition situation? Maybe if I reach out to know the other agents in the area instead of withdrawing from them, I would do better. I should learn to like them. Actually now that I think of it, we have hundreds of houses and thousands of customers to work with. There really is no competition."
Not Responsible: "The power is out again! Stupid power company."
Responsible: "How can I be it? What would it be like if I was in charge of the power company. I imagine they get a lot of nasty calls." "How can I use this problem? Actually, this would be a good time to get some exercise."
Not Responsible: "Most of my employees are lazy bums."
Responsible: "How much do I like them? I guess they are trying to do a good job and I like them for that. I think I'll help motivate them with a bonus plan."
Everyone can be more responsible. Taking full responsibility leads to fewer difficulties and greater success. Luckily, it's easy to do!
Try this approach:
1. Write down a problem, any problem at all.
2. Ask yourself the 11 questions above until you see how you solve the problem by taking more responsibility.
3. Repeat on other problems. Try it with any barriers that are in the way of you reaching your goals.