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TipsForSuccess: How to Influence People

 


How to Influence Others

Everything you want in life requires the support or cooperation of other individuals. Your success depends on people. Objects do not make you successful.

For example, real estate will not make you wealthy. It's the people who rent or buy your real estate.

If you invented a better telephone, it would not make you wealthy. Your money would come from the people who wanted this telephone.

A business does not succeed because it has a beautiful office space, fancy brochures or a brilliant plan. It succeeds because people buy your product or service. It also succeeds because the staff members do their work.

Humans relations, not things, make or break your future success.

So why are people rude to you? Why do they break their agreements with you? What makes them avoid you?

How People Decide to Treat You

"There is an interesting phenomenon* at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One ... actually sets an example of how he should be treated. A is mean to B so B is mean to A. A is friendly to B so B is friendly to A." -- L. Ron Hubbard
(* phenomenon = an observable fact.)

If you are blunt with people, they will be blunt with you. If you try to cheat people, they will try to cheat you. If you push them down, they will push you down.

If you list all the bad things people do to you, you will find you also do these bad things.

For example, you feel upset when Joe ignores you. So you think it over and realize you have been upsetting Sally by ignoring her. So you go chat with Sally and make her cheerful. Joe then talks to you . . . or you no longer care if Joe talks to you. Either way, you are no longer upset.

How this Principle Can Make You Successful

If you are honest with people, they are honest with you. If you encourage them, they encourage you. If you give them what they need, they will give you what you need.

"When one is lucky enough to get to meet and talk to the men and women who are at the top of their professions, one is struck by an observation often made that they are just about the nicest people you ever met. That is one of the reasons they are at the top: they try, most of them, to treat others well."

"Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgivingness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity*?

"It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?"
-- L. Ron Hubbard
(* integrity = sticking to one's principles.)

What should you do if you want to be a big success? Simply work out how you want others to treat you.

For example, insurance salesman John wants people to return his calls. He makes 150 calls per day and mostly just leaves messages. Only one or two people return his calls. He can't make a living this way.

He asks himself, "How should I treat others? How would I want to be treated?"

He answers himself, "Well, I hate sales calls and never return them myself. Let's see, if a salesman had something I might want to buy, how should he contact me? I'd prefer a personal letter. I'd want him to take a little interest in me, to care about me and try to save me money. Hey! I'm going to give it a try!"

John sits down to write personal letters and has another realization. "Hey! I don't know anything about these people! I need to do some research."

He then starts a system to record details about everyone he can. Where they live, what they do, their hobbies, their pets' names and so on. Soon his letters are personalized.

"Dear Chris, I thought you'd like a copy of this article about row boats. Also, if you want me to check your car insurance, I might save you some money. Yours, John."

"Hi Pat! It was great seeing you at the soccer game yesterday. I thought you would like this brochure about our new flood insurance. I think we have the best prices. John. P.S. Let me know if you change your mind about helping us coach the team. "

Before he sends each letter, he asks himself: "Would I want to be treated this way?"

Soon, John is selling more insurance than ever before.

Five Steps for Improving Human Relations

You can improve the way people treat you in many ways. For example:

1. Make a list of everyone who influences you. Everyone you depend on. Everyone who can make you successful. Include your boss or employees, customers, coworkers and colleagues.

2. Write down how you want these people to treat you. For example, kind, interested, honest, cooperative, friendly, patient, fair, generous and so on.

3. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-5 for each of these characteristics.

4. Each day, work to improve one or more of these characteristics in yourself. Treat everyone, not just the people you depend on, in the ways you want to be treated. Raise your rating to a 5 for each characteristic.

5. Persist for a few months and watch the results!

Try these steps with your family or your romantic relationship, as well!

This principle about human relations comes from The Way to Happiness. You can buy a copy of the booklet, or download a free copy, from the Way to Happiness Foundation at www.twth.org.
 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details.

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TipsForSuccess: Take Charge of Your Life

TipsForSuccess: Take Charge of Your Life
 


Take Charge of Your Life

You cannot succeed if you are confused. Your education, skills and experience are made useless by confusion.

For example, you want to earn more money. So you take a computer class and learn to use Microsoft Office software. You gain the education to earn more pay, but because you are confused about what to now do, you do nothing.

Every failure starts with a confusion.

As another example, you want to raise your teenage boy to be happy and successful. One day, you find strange pills and marijuana in his room. You want to punish him, but you still hate your parents for punishing you. So you become confused and ineffective.

Confusion makes you stop and worry. It spins you around and stops your progress.

If your boss says, "You're fired!" or your spouse says, "I want a divorce," the confusion can wipe you out for weeks.

Confusion makes you give up your goals. You decide you can't start a business, have a happy marriage or get rich. You "accept reality," keep your dead-end job and just hope for the best.

Confusion and the Stable Datum

In Chapter Two of his book The Problems of Work, L. Ron Hubbard shows how you can solve confusions by simply grasping one part of the confusion.

"The switchboard operator receiving ten calls at once solves the confusion by labeling, correctly or incorrectly, one call as the first call to receive her attention. The confusion of ten calls all at once becomes less confusing the moment she singles out one call to be answered."

"Until one selects one datum*, one factor*, one particular* in a confusion of particles, the confusion continues. The one thing selected and used becomes the stable datum for the remainder."
-- L. Ron Hubbard
*(Datum: one fact or piece of information. Factor: element or ingredient. Particular: a single thing; separate and distinct)

Example: Your first job was working at Tom's Car Repair Shop. When Tom retires, the shop goes out of business. Your feel confused as you've never had another job. Your head spins with too many thoughts. You sit at home and worry.

So you select one thing as your stable datum: "I am a great mechanic. I can fix anything." You suddenly relax. Your head stops spinning. "I'm a GREAT MECHANIC!"

Because you feel less confused and more confident, you get a great job fixing airplanes at United Airlines.

No matter what confusion is blocking your success, the "Confusion and Stable Datum" technique can clear your mind and help you take positive action.

Three Easy Steps

You can use this technique in many ways. For example:

1. Write down a problem, situation or project that is on your mind. It can be anything that is difficult, disorganized or confusing.

2. Write down the result you wish to accomplish.

What is the optimum conclusion? If everything goes well, what will happen with this problem, situation or project? What would make you feel you resolved the problem or completed the project?

3. Finally, write down the NEXT PHYSICAL ACTION STEP you need to take. This is your stable datum.

What can you do? What act will move you closer to the optimum condition? If you had nothing else to do besides work on this project, what single thing would you do?

"Schedule a meeting" is too vague. Instead, be specific. Examples: "Tell Jackson to find the Smith file." "Watch the training video." "Buy a box of folders." "Make ten calls by noon." "Clean out the closet." "Train Nancy to answer the telephone politely."

Selecting a specific action puts you in charge. You feel some control of the situation. You don't even need to do the action; just working it out gives you a stable datum and blows off the confusion.

For example, your finances are a mess. You do not know how much money you have or who you owe. Your bills do not get paid on time. You are so worried and confused, you avoid the problem.

You take one minute and write down the following:

"1. Situation: My finances are a confused mess."

"2. Objective: Organize my finances so I pay my bills properly."

"3. Action Step: Before doing anything else, go to the bank and open a new checking account."

Suddenly, your head clears up. You no longer worry about the big confusion; you just focus on opening a new bank account. You select a stable datum and stop the confusion.

Any action step can act as the stable datum: "Buy a calculator." "Put all my bills in one folder." "Cut up my credit cards." The action step does not need to be the BEST action step for this principle to work; any action step or any stable datum is fine.

You have correctly selected a stable datum when the confusion blows off.

Benefits

* Working out a stable datum for the confusion helps you organize your thoughts. You free up your attention so you can focus on other things.

* As soon as you have time to work on the project, you have a starting point. You can focus on one specific act, not a big cloudy mess.

* You feel less stress and more confidence.

* You feel motivated and energized to take action.

* You are one step closer to your goals and ultimate success.

Before you do anything else today, try the above three steps on your biggest problem, distraction or confusion.

Additional Tip for Your Success


Use the free planning tools at our interactive coaching website: www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org. This step-by-step system can give you stable datums for all of your confusions.

Give it a try!


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details.

To subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: Six Rules for Successful Staff Management

TipsForSuccess: Six Rules for Successful Staff Management
 


Six Rules for Successful Staff Management

If you manage people, or wish to manage people, you must deal with staff problems every day. "How should I treat Jenny when she gives me the silent treatment?" "What should I do about this conflict between Steve and Pete?" "How should I respond when people want favors from me?"

If you use the following rules for managing people, you will be a better manager. They will guide you in difficult situations. They help you build trust and cooperation.

If you are not yet a manager of people, you soon will be one, IF you follow these rules whenever you can.

An article by L. Ron Hubbard called "How to Fill Jobs" outlines seventeen rules. Here are the first six.

1. Do not expect to improve your status or popularity with your staff members by giving them raises. You improve your status by doing your job and actively leading your group.

For example, one of your employees says, "Come on Boss, I really need that raise. I'll be loyal to you and make sure everyone likes you, if you give me the raise. Okay?"

You say, "Sorry Jed. No raise. Maybe if you improve your productivity for a few months we can discuss it. Let's get to work on that project as we're already behind."

2. Do not pull people off their jobs. It makes them feel insecure. They get the idea you have partially fired them and so they quit.

For example, you decide to answer the phone whenever you hear it ring. Your receptionist only gets to answer the phone when you are busy. Soon, the other employees start to answer phone calls whenever you are busy. Your receptionist quits.

3. You can make people work very hard as long as they are doing the job they were hired to do.

For example, your computer system crashes and 5000 records need to be entered by your data-entry staff before they can do their normal data-entry work. Because they were hired to do data entry, you say, "I know this will be hard, but you people need to get these 5000 records entered by the end of the day, even if you need to work all night. And then by the end of tomorrow, you need to catch up your regular work, as well."

The data-entry staff grumble a bit, but soon they are working harder than ever. They laugh about having pizza for dinner and make up a game to finish before 7 pm.

4. Pay attention to your staff's work. Make regular comments about their performance.

For instance, you say, "Good job on getting those 5000 records entered by 7 pm! You seem to do your best work when you eat pizza."

5. Do not play favorites with any particular staff members or form cliques.

For instance, someone says, "Boss, a few of us want to buy you dinner tonight."

You say, "No thanks, but maybe we'll have a pizza party for lunch on Friday for everyone."

6. Demand excellent work standards.

For example, one of your staff says, "I'm mailing these statements even though they are a little crooked. The printer messed up, but you can still read them."

You say, "Throw them away and do it right. We're professionals, okay?"

L. Ron Hubbard summarizes with this advice: "If you do all these fairly well, you'll really make it. You only have to be 51% right all the time to win. Just make sure the 49% loses don't include anything important."

 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details.

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TipsForSuccess: Imagine Wild Success for 2005

TipsForSuccess: Imagine Wild Success for 2005
 


Imagine Wild Success

What do you expect in 2005?

A. Misery and problems

B. Ups and downs

C. More of the same

D. Moderate success

E. Wild success

If you selected A, B, C, D or E, that is what you will get!

Unreal Expectations

Most people WISH for a successful future, but they EXPECT problems and failure. They get what they expect and not what they wish.

For example, if you have no money, you might think it is stupid or unrealistic to imagine great wealth. All losers agree it is stupid to imagine wild success. (Maybe that is why they are losers.)

"I knew this restaurant would fail." "In the back of my mind, I expected this marriage would end in divorce." "I really didn't think I could become a doctor."

However, everyone who achieves wild success, a wonderful marriage or great wealth, will tell you the same thing: "I knew that sooner or later, I would get what I expected."

Make Up Your Mind

"Just imagine to yourself being able to conquer the whole cockeyed universe, doing anything you want to do, being utterly, completely unrestricted and free in all directions to do whatever you pleased--bad, good or indifferent--and being strong, powerful and unassailable.*" -- L. Ron Hubbard (*unassailable: impossible to oppose)

You can be healthy, powerful, rich, attractive, successful, smart, popular, honest, happy, in love, influential and more.

You can also be poor, unproductive, miserable, sickly, stupid, unfaithful, dishonest, worthless, depressed and so on.

What do you expect?

Your decision is the first step to controlling your physical universe. In a 1951 lecture, L. Ron Hubbard gave this example to his audience.

"If at this moment you simply made up your mind that you were handsome, beautiful, strong, dangerous, powerful, that you knew everything there was to know, that you were totally capable in any job that you undertook or any sport you undertook, and if you really believed that--and you CAN believe it--some of your faces would change physically before my eyes."

Give it a try!

1. Look at yourself in a mirror.

2. Make up your mind that you are handsome, beautiful, strong or whatever you wish. Really believe it.

3. Look in the mirror again.

Recommendations

You do not need to be almost wealthy to visualize great wealth. You just visualize great wealth!

You do not need to be in love to imagine a wonderful marriage. You can have a horrible, hateful marriage and still expect a loving marriage . . . even with the same person!

You do not need proof that you will be successful to expect it.

1. Visualize yourself succeeding. For great wealth, visualize yourself in possession of great wealth. Think of some of the things you would do with that money and then mentally start doing them.

2. You will run into opposition in your own mind. Your past decisions or past expectations will pop up to ruin your vision. If you hold on to your expectation of success, these mental oppositions will vanish.

Winners constantly think, "I can," "I will" and "I am." Losers think, "I can't," "I won't" and "I'm not."

You, and only you, can restrict your imagination.

3. The physical universe will also throw opposition at you. For example, you expect good health and then you get sick. You expect to be a great painter and then no one will buy your paintings.

When this opposition comes at you, so what? Do not change your mind. The problem is temporary. You will still get what you expect.

HOW you accomplish your expectations may vary, but if you hold on to your visions, they happen.

Many people say, "Seeing is believing." They might say, "I'll believe I'll get rich as soon as I see the checks arriving in the mail." They have no vision.

If instead you have a vision for your future, you will say, "What I see is what I get."

Persistence is the key. Hold on to your vision of success, despite all reasons you should not, and your dreams will become reality.

Imagine a Wildly Successful New Year!


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce you to the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

You can improve your control over any issue, habit or problem with TipsForSuccess Coaching. Check out www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

You have permission to copy, print or post this article. Click here for details.

To subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

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