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TipsForSuccess: How to Form a Relationship with Anyone


How to Form a Relationship with Anyone

You can only succeed with the help, interest and support of others, and this requires the ability to form business and personal relationships.

A powerful tool you can use to break the ice and form new relationships comes from the book, The Problems of Work:

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You can use this simple two-part system to talk to anyone!

For example, you want to form a relationship with a neighbor. Where do you start?

1. Find something to like about the neighbor. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking boots. This step is done. You don't have to say anything unless you feel like it.

2. Discuss something with which he can agree.
You have to ask some questions to determine this. What has he been doing lately? How's his family? What do they do for fun?

For example, he talks about a fantastic vacation he and his family just enjoyed in Florida. You love Florida, too. You discuss and agree on Florida's fun spots.

As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish a relationship with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her. You like her red-leather briefcase.

So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. You then find something with which she can agree.

"Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find you both agree that Chicago weather is too cold. You then find other things of which you both agree.

A car salesman is very successful because he knows how to use this technique. He establishes relationships within seconds of meeting people. People in elevators, workers in restaurants, clerks in stores, even people on sidewalks. He instantly finds something he likes about each person and then finds something the other person can agree on. He never lacks new customers. Everyone likes being around him.

Forming relationships is priceless when climbing the ladder to success. You establish valuable contacts wherever you can. Parties, work, church, business events, conventions, anywhere.

Simply walk up to someone, find something you like about the person, then discover and discuss a point of agreement. Just keep asking questions. "What do you like best about these meetings?" "What is your opinion about _____(the meeting topic)_____?" "What business are you in?"

You can use these two steps to form relationships with anyone. For example, you get on a train and sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with hamburger breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his shirt. You feel better about the fellow and start to find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?"

Before long, you actually enjoy the relationship.


Copyright © 2006 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

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Your Golden Goose

Do you think your most valuable asset is a possession? Your home, your car, your stereo or your savings? No, none of these things are your most valuable asset.

Even if you have millions of dollars. The money is not your most valuable financial asset. In fact, it might become a liability if you get obsessed about keeping it and protecting it. Your life becomes controlled by your cash.

The most valuable financial asset you own is not a possession, but your personal golden goose.

The Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs

The Greek slave Aesop told this story 2500 years ago. A man and his wife owned a goose that laid a golden egg every day. They decided they were not getting rich fast enough. They believed the bird must be full of gold and so decided to kill it.

When they cut open their golden goose, they found it was just like any other goose. They not only failed to get rich all at once as they had hoped, they no longer enjoyed the daily golden eggs.

Because you have probably heard this story, you would never think of cutting a goose that laid golden eggs for you. You would take special care of that goose. You would buy it the best goose feed, the most comfortable goose nest and the nicest goose pond available, right?

The truth is, you own a golden goose.

Conditions of Success

"The conditions of success are few and easily stated.

"The ability to hold a job depends, in the main, upon ability.

"One's intelligence is directly related to his ability. There is no such thing as being too smart. But there is such a thing as being too stupid."
-- L. Ron Hubbard from The Problems of Work

Your ability to make money IS your golden goose. Your ability to work and produce something valuable is the goose that lays golden eggs for you.

The more ability you have, the more golden eggs you can earn.

You can kill your golden goose by taking drugs, committing crimes, self criticism and so on.

Or you can make your goose lay bigger golden eggs.

The Best Investment in the World


Professional investors are constantly searching for investments (golden geese) with three qualities:

1. The investment must be safe and secure.

2. It must produce above-average income.

3. Opportunities to buy the investment must be everywhere.

Your ability to make money, fits all three qualities.

1. Your ability to earn money is safe. Some idiot might try to kill your goose with criticism, attacks or backstabbing. Yet once you bounce back, your skills start to produce golden eggs again. Your skills do not easily disappear.

2. By investing in your golden goose, you can earn a huge income.

For example, a doctor spends $90,000 on education and then earns $180,000 per year. He or she earns twice the education cost every year. How many other types of investments can do that?

As another example, you decide to take a sales class. You pay $5,000 for the class and travel costs. You come back to your business and increase your sales by $1,000 per month or $12,000 per year. By investing $5,000, you get back $12,000 the first year. This is a return of 240% which any investor will tell you is an incredible return.

You can expect an excellent return on your investment by obtaining any skill: people skills, computer skills, speaking skills and so on. Even better is improving your personal power base -- your ability to confront difficult situations, to make correct decisions, to work harder, to accomplish more.

3. Skill-enhancement opportunities are all around you. Professional investors spend most of their time looking for golden geese. They are happy if 60% of their investments make money. By investing in your personal abilities, you can expect 90-100% of these investments will help you succeed. Because you get some improvement from everything you learn, you have no real risk.

Recommendations

1. Make a list of all the abilities you have that make you money. For example, "My ability to handle customer's complaints." "My ability to fix desktop computers." "My ability to build garages."

2. Next to each item on your list, write down how you can improve each ability. For example, "Learn how to make people happy." "Study how to fix laptop computers and computer networks." "Learn how to build houses."

3. Add new abilities to the list. What would you like to know how to do? What ability would help you earn more money? For example, "Ability to help people lead happier lives." "The skill to write software programs." "The skill to manage a construction company."

4. Next to each of these new abilities, write down what you can do to obtain them. Examples: "Read every book I can find on helping people." "Take classes in my spare time on computer programming." "Find a successful construction company owner who is willing to train me."

5. Now using the list, write your ability investment plan.

6. Take action. Invest your spare time and energy into yourself.

Do one thing today, and every day, to enhance your golden goose.
 


Copyright © 2006 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed

"You are treating yourself in present time much as you were treated by others in the past. And you punish yourself far more than anyone would ever punish you." -- L. Ron Hubbard

How have people treated you in the past?

Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way?

Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success.

False Ideas

At some point, you may have accepted these ideas to be true.

"If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!"

"I respect Joe's opinion. Joe thinks I'm an idiot. So I must be an idiot."

"If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone."

"I've heard it's sinful to like myself, so I'd better hate myself."

"No one knows my deep, dark secret: I'm actually a bad person."

Of course, all of these ideas are nonsense.

True Ideas

To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself. You need to remember that you are a good person.

"Actually you are a giant tied down with cotton lint. You tied the knots and furnished the string and said where you'd lie." "The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world." -- L. Ron Hubbard


Three Tips for Improving Your Success


1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems.

For example, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I'm such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I'm taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don't mess up again. Great idea!"

2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion.

For example, "I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I'm eating more vegetables these days. I haven't gotten angry at my kids for a month. I'm earning more money this year. I'm helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . ."

3. If you cannot improve your opinion of yourself, the solution lies below your consciousness. Read Dianetics: The Evolution of a Science (free online copy at www.dianetics-theevolutionofascience.org) to learn how you can find and erase the roots of irrational thoughts.


Copyright © 2006 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.


Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?

People who feel they failed as parents usually share a common regret:

"I did not show my kids enough love."

On the other hand, no one ever regrets giving their children too much affection.

"Affection could no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline." -- L. Ron Hubbard


Giving a child an unlimited supply of toys and presents makes it difficult for a child to return a real exchange.

But giving a child an unlimited supply of love and affection is something a child can happily return to you . . . in abundance.

This advice applies to marriages as well. A lot of affection might put your spouse into a happy state of shock, but he or she won't be spoiled.

Go try it!


Copyright © 2006 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

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