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TipsForSuccess: Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?

 


Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?

People who feel they failed as parents often share a common regret: "I did not show my kids my love often enough."

On the other hand, no one ever regrets giving their children too much affection.

"Affection could no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Giving a child an unlimited supply of toys and presents makes it difficult for a child to return a real exchange.

But giving a child an unlimited supply of love and affection is something a child can happily return to you . . . in abundance.

This advice applies to marriages as well. Showing a large amount lot of affection might put your spouse into a happy state of shock, but he or she will not be spoiled by it.

Go try it!


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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TipsForSuccess: Complicated Problems

 


Complicated Problems

"THE DEGREE OF COMPLEXITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF NONCONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you can't face something, it gets complicated. It scares you, confuses you, upsets you. Your inability to confront the problem makes it complex.

For example, Pete wants a girlfriend, but every time he talks to a woman, he looks at his feet, sweats and stammers. He is terrified of women. His nonconfront is a big problem. Simply chatting with a female seems very confusing to Pete.

So he decides to face his fear of talking to women. He starts talking to any female he can. He talks to his sister, an older woman in a store, the librarian, a few of his female coworkers and his friend's wife.

Sooner or later Pete realizes women are just people and not out to hurt him. He enjoys chatting and laughing with them. Finding a girlfriend seems much easier to Pete.

"THE DEGREE OF SIMPLICITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF CONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard

People who can take on complicated subjects are not afraid of them. For example, your roof leaks. To you, it's complicated: Which shingle should I remove? How do you remove shingles? Where do you buy new shingles?

But to a professional roofer, the problem is simple. You watch him fix the roof. He pulls a few nails, digs out the bad shingles and installs the new ones. You confronted the process and it now looks simple.

How to Take Apart Problems

"To take apart a problem requires only to establish what one could not or would not confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard

All you need to do is figure out exactly what you cannot confront and you slice apart the problem.

For example, you want to start a t-shirt business. But instead of swimming in the confusion, or hiring someone to confront it for you, you ask yourself this question:

"What about this problem is difficult for me to face? What can't I confront about it?" You write down five things you can't confront.

1. Signing a long-term store space lease is scary.

2. T-shirt manufacturers seem like mean people.

3. What if the banker laughs at my loan application?

4. I'm afraid I'll hire bad employees.

5. My advertising ideas might make me look stupid.

Just making the list makes you feel better. Starting a business appears less chaotic. Then, you confront each individual item on your list.

You ask dozens of questions about leasing store space. You use a dictionary to figure out every paragraph of the lease. You understand the lease and happily sign it.

Next, you meet with a few t-shirt manufacturers. You discover they are very nice people.

You meet with a banker. You interview a few potential employees. You find out the kind of advertising you need to attract customers.

After facing all five items on your list, you realize it's not hard to make a t-shirt business succeed!

Recommendations

What are the problems you face on your road to success? What seems too complicated?

Take each problem apart by establishing what you can't confront. Write down everything that makes you afraid, anxious or angry. Everything about the problem that is difficult for you to face.

Then confront each piece. Get in there and deal with it. Persist until you can comfortably face each part of the confusion.

If a piece of the puzzle seems too big or complex, break it down as well.

Eventually, through courage, you solve the complexity.

Success, and life itself, becomes simple!


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

FW: TipsForSuccess: Hate

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Hate

Have you ever hated someone without knowing why? For example, you hate someone you just met, for no reason. Or you hate someone because of their gender, their hair color, their political views or their age. Why?

Perhaps before you hated that type of person, you tried to help someone like him or her.

For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?"

You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise."

Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."

You suddenly feel a little hatred for Jill. Her comment is deeply insulting.

"If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You tried to help someone and you failed. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind of help you offered. Maybe the person did not realize you had good intentions, at the time.

It's a rotten, upsetting feeling to try to help someone . . . and fail.

How to Resolve This Hatred

"Pick a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron Hubbard

So instead of ignoring the person or getting angry, talk about the subject of "help."

Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on. Once you get started, your hatred will dissolve. You will understand the person or people similar to this person.

Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion

1. Do you like getting help?

2. Do you like helping others?

3. How do you feel about me helping you?

4. How do you feel about helping me?

5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't?

6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't?

7. Do you wish you could help more people?

8. Do you wish more people could help you?

9. In the future, how can I help you?

10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?

"Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Give it a try! You will be delighted and amazed. You may even do some good for this world.


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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TipsForSuccess: Five Management Rules

 


Five Rules for Successful Staff Management

If you manage people, or wish to manage people, you must know the rules for solving staff problems. For example, "How should I treat Jenny when she gives me the silent treatment?" "What should I do about this conflict between Steve and Pete?" "How should I respond when people want favors from me?"

If you are not yet a manager of people, you soon will be one, IF you follow these rules whenever you can.

An article by L. Ron Hubbard called "How to Fill Jobs" outlines seventeen rules. Here are five of those rules.

1. Do not expect to improve your status or popularity with your staff members by giving them raises. You improve your status by doing your job and actively leading your group.

For example, one of your employees says, "Come on Boss, I really need that raise. I have to pay my rent and am desperate. I would consider it a personal favor and will be very, very happy if you give me the raise. Okay?"

You say, "Sorry Jed. No raise. Maybe if you improve your productivity for a few months we can discuss it. Let's get to work on that project as we're already behind."

2. People will work very hard IF you have them do the work they agreed to do when they were hired.

For example, your computer system crashes and 5000 records need to be entered by your data-entry staff before they can do their normal data-entry work. Because they were hired to do data entry, you say, "I know this will be hard, but you people need to get these 5000 records entered by the end of the day, even if you need to work all night. And then by the end of tomorrow, you need to catch up your regular work, as well."

The data-entry staff grumble a bit, but soon they are working harder than ever. They laugh about having pizza for dinner and decide they can finish by 7 pm.

3. Pay attention to your staff's work. Make regular comments about their performance.

For instance, you say, "Good job on getting those 5000 records entered by 7 pm!"

4. Do not play favorites or a form clique (a small, exclusive group).

For instance, someone says, "Boss, a few of us want to buy you lunch."

You say, "Great! Let's bring the whole team."

5. Demand excellent work standards.

For example, one of your staff says, "I'm mailing these statements even though they are a little crooked. The copier messed up, but you can still read them."

You say, "Throw them away and do it right. We're professionals, okay?"

L. Ron Hubbard summarizes with this advice: "If you do all these fairly well, you'll really make it. You only have to be 51% right all the time to win. Just make sure the 49% loses don't include anything important." -- L. Ron Hubbard


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2010 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

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