TipsForSuccess: 2007

TipsForSuccess: How to Be More Motivated in 2008

How to Be More Motivated in 2008

As you know, you cause some things and you are the effect of other things. You could say that when you are causing things, you are CAUSE. When someone else causes an effect on you, you could say that you are EFFECT.

Thousands of people buy motivation tapes because they want the tapes to make them be EFFECT. They want the speaker on the tape to fire them up and get them going. They believe the tape gives them energy.

Other people believe drugs will motivate them. They want to swallow a pill and then be energized. They want to be EFFECT of the drug.

Employees who sit around waiting for the boss to motivate them are also EFFECT. Bosses hate the burden of having to motivate everyone. These lazy employees prefer to be EFFECT of the boss and wait for him or her to make them work.

The truth is, everyone can be the source of their own motivation! They can be at CAUSE.

"Motivation is in the future. It's 'What do I want?' 'What do we want?' That's cause. And if it's interesting, it sort of pulls us forward to it." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, you may have heard the story about three men who were building a stone church. When asked what they were doing, the first man said he was breaking stones, the second said he was making a living and the third said he was building a cathedral.

Which of the men do you think had the most motivation?

What is the in the future for your activities? What do you want in your future?

If you're not sure, you won't be motivated. If you're afraid you'll get something other than what you want, you won't be motivated. If you have little hope you'll make it, you won't be motivated.

If you doubt your ability to get what you want, you won't be motivated. If you have nothing you want in the future, you will not be motivated. If you do not find it very interesting, you will not be motivated.

On the other hand, if you spell out exactly what you want, you are CAUSE. If it's interesting, you are motivated!

Of course, you need to have hope that you will make it as well as confidence that you can make it happen. But the first step is to decide what you want.

For example, Jill wakes up and thinks, "I'm going to run my own very successful company some day!" She jumps out of bed and races off to work. Chris wakes up and thinks, "I'm going to be late if I don't get out of bed."

Recommendations

1. Stop expecting anything or anyone to motivate you. No longer think, "I'll really get excited after someone gives me a . . ." "I won't work hard until . . ." "My life will change for the better when someone else . . ."

Instead, take responsibility for being CAUSE and for motivating yourself. "I'm the one who will get me excited. I'll work hard to reach my goals. I'm changing my life for the better."

2. Write down everything you want in the future. What do you want today? This week? This year? This lifetime? Keep writing down what you want until you start to feel motivated.

3. Look for things you want that are also interesting to you.

For example, "Pay off my debts" may not be as interesting or as motivational as "Become a debt-free millionaire!"

Happy New Year!

For more details and examples for setting your goals in 2008, check out www.tipsforsuccess.org/goals-link.htm.

To gain more hope and more confidence in your ability to reach your goals, check out www.dianetics.org.

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TipsForSuccess: Paradise on Earth

Paradise on Earth

What do you postulate?

Postulate: to assume, assert or decide something is true; a prediction. For example, if you are sure you will exercise today, you postulate that you will exercise today. If you expect someone will succeed, you are postulating their success.

What do you postulate for others?

Think of someone at your work. What do you hope or postulate for him or her? Do you hope he or she will succeed? Fail? Stay out of your way? Do just a little worse than you?

When someone accidentally upsets you, what do you postulate for them? For example, while driving down the road a car cuts in front of you, scares you and makes you slam on your brakes. What do you postulate? Do you hope the driver has a rotten day? That the driver gets a speeding ticket?

When you look at strangers in a store, what do you think of them? What do you postulate? For example, when you see an overweight person, do you think, "What a lazy slob. I expect he will never be successful." Or do you think, "I hope he does well in life."

If you see a teenager covered with tattoos, what do you think? "She coordinates her tattoo colors with her shoes very nicely. She'll go far." Or maybe you think, "What a slut! She'll end up in jail."

What you may not know is that the postulates you have for others affect you.

In an article from November 26, 1954, L. Ron Hubbard wrote,

"Sit down at a public place where many people are passing by and simply postulate into them, above them, around them, perfection -- no matter what you see. Do this person after person as they walk by you or around you, doing it quietly and to yourself."

"This is simply a demonstration of a fact that he who lives believing wrong of all his fellow men lives, himself, in hell.

"The only difference between paradise on Earth and hell on Earth is whether or not you believe your fellow man worthy of receiving your friendship and devotion." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Does life seem like paradise or hell to you? If it's a little hellish at times, do you believe your fellow human beings deserve your friendship?

Take some time today and postulate perfection for others. Decide they are wonderful and perfect, just as they are. Look at them and expect they will succeed.

Try it with the people you know as well. Make a decision that your family members will all be happy and healthy. Postulate perfection into your friends and coworkers. Just decide.

Give it a try today. Give everyone around you a gift -- your postulate for their perfection.

If, as a result, life becomes more of a paradise for you, make this into a habit and you'll live in paradise every day!

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TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC: Part 4

Get Anything You Want with ARC
Affinity, Reality and Communication

"Understanding is composed of affinity, reality and communication." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas

(See the links below for Parts 1, 2 and 3.)

Part 4: ARC in Sales and Negotiations

Even if you are not a professional sales person or negotiator, you do sell and negotiate every day. For example, you might sell an idea to your boss, negotiate dinner plans with your spouse, sell your value as a worker to get a raise, negotiate a lease, convince someone to work for you, negotiate with your son to clean up his room and so on.

Unfortunately, many salespeople and negotiators are taught to treat prospects like the enemy. "Strip off their objections! Make them afraid to buy from anyone else! Push them into a corner! Take away their choices! Nail them to the wall! Push them hard until they agree!"

With the ARC Triangle, you put the relationship first and the sale second. You communicate with the person, have affinity for the person and then reach an agreement with the person. ARC is so powerful, it even makes bad salespeople into wonderful salespeople.

For example, if you try to sell something without first establishing good ARC, the prospect is not going to tell you how he or she feels.

"So are you ready to buy?"
"No, I want to think about it."
"What's there to think about?"
"None of your business."

If you are in good ARC, you get a different response.

"So are you ready to buy?"
"Well, I'm concerned about the price. Can you tell me again how your payment plan works?"

Salespeople with high ARC even get sales because of their excellent ARC! "She was just such a nice person, I couldn't say no."

Because ARC makes your relationships genuine, you do your best to reach an ethical, helpful agreement or sale. People then tell you, "I'm so glad we worked out a deal where we both win!" "If you hadn't helped me, I would have bought the wrong insurance policy." "You really helped us solve so many problems with our finances. Now we can move into this wonderful home. Thank you!"

How to Establish ARC with New Contacts

This sentence from The Problems of Work is very effective in sales and negotiations.

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, if you are a smart car salesperson, you silently find something to like about the prospect as you approach. "I like how clean he keeps his car and how straight he stands." Because you have created a little affinity for the prospect, he or she will find it easier to have affinity for you.

Then, you find something on which to agree. "Quite a nice day we're having, would you say?" "Do you like the look of that new model?" "Can I show you around?"

When you attend business or social functions, you can make several new contacts with ARC. Simply walk up to someone, find something you like about him or her, then discover a point of agreement. "What do you like best about these gatherings?" "What is your opinion about _____(the meeting topic)_____?" "What business are you in?"

As a negotiator or deal maker, you have greater success when you first establish ARC with all parties. For example, when you first sit at the negotiation table, you look at each person and find something you like about each. "I like his suit, I like her hair, I like how bright he looks and I like how organized she is."

You then discuss something of which everyone can agree. "Does everyone agree that our goal today should be to find a deal that makes everyone happy?" "Is it okay with everyone if I control the discussions?" "Can everyone work on this for two full hours without interruption?"

Magically, because you start with ARC, you get more done in less time with greater results!

Recommendations

1. Write down a deal you would like to make or an item you would like to sell this week.

2. Write down how you will establish ARC with the people involved.

3. Go do it!

Get Anything You Want with ARC (Affinity, Reality and Communication), Part 1

Get Anything You Want with ARC (Affinity, Reality and Communication), Part 2

Get Anything You Want with ARC (Affinity, Reality and Communication), Part 3

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TipsForSuccess: How to Become a Leader

How to Become a Leader

According to October's TipsForSuccess survey, 72% of those who completed the survey want more information on how to be a leader.

Becoming the leader of a project, group or business is very thrilling. You get to make the decisions, help more people, earn more pay and have more fun. The technology described in this article outlines exactly how you can do this.

"THE K-R-C TRIANGLE"

"The points are K for KNOWLEDGE, R for RESPONSIBILITY and C for CONTROL."

"It is difficult to be responsible for something or control something unless you have KNOWLEDGE of it."

"It is folly to try to control something or even know something without RESPONSIBILITY."

"It is hard to fully know something or be responsible for something over which you have no CONTROL, otherwise the result can be an overwhelm."

"Little by little one can make anything go right by

"INCREASING KNOWLEDGE . . . ,"

"INCREASING RESPONSIBILITY . . . ,"

"INCREASING CONTROL . . . ."

"If one sorts out any situation one finds oneself in on this basis, he will generally succeed."

"By inching up each corner of the KRC triangle bit by bit, ignoring the losses and making the wins firm, a being at length discovers his power and command of life." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples

Terry and Joe work for Dan's Auto Repair. They both want to succeed, but Terry uses the KRC Triangle.

For example, when Joe makes a mistake, he hits the car part with his tool. When Terry makes a mistake, he slows down, adjusts the tool and carefully does the work again. He increases his control.

At 5:00 each night, Joe puts down his tools and walks out the door to get a beer. Terry cleans up his area, oils his tools and puts them away. He increases his responsibility.

During the weekends, Joe watches football while Terry reads auto repair magazines and shop manuals. He increases his knowledge.

Joe gets frustrated when he can't pay his bills, can't get along with his wife and can't get ahead at his job. He complains about all the losses he has had in life to his buddies at the bar every night.

Terry also gets frustrated, but he ignores the losses and rarely talks about them. Instead, he makes his wins firm by sharing them with his family and friends and looks for new ways to succeed.

When Dan, the owner of the shop, decides to add a partner to his business, who does he choose?

Who are the most successful people you personally know? How much knowledge, responsibility and control do they have in their fields?

How often do they increase their knowledge? Their responsibility? Their control?

Do they talk about their failures or their successes?

To become a leader and achieve success, just remember these five things: increase knowledge, increase responsibility, increase control, ignore losses and solidify wins.

Recommendations

Raise your KRC for the activity faster and more thoroughly than anyone else and you will become the leader.

1. Decide on the group or project that you want lead. If you are not yet a part of that activity, take a small position in that group or project.

2. Increase your knowledge: Learn more about the activity than anyone. Do more research than anyone. Figure out more innovative solutions than anyone.

3. Increase your responsibility: Be a great supporter to the current leader. Volunteer to do extra work and take on extra duties with no pay. Consider the success of the project or group to be your personal responsibility.

4. Control: Invest more time and interest in the activity than anyone else. Take control of every aspect of the project or group, when the opportunity presents itself.

5. Losses: Do not dwell on any failures, regrets or mistakes you encounter. Fix them, when possible, but otherwise, ignore them.

6. Wins: Focus on your successes each day. Write them down, think about them and talk about them. Make them a permanent part of your life.

7. Because you have the most knowledge and responsibility for the success of the project, an opportunity to take control of the project or group will eventually appear. When this happens, do not hesitate. Take the reins!

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TipsForSuccess: How to Prevent Catastrohphes

How to Prevent Catastrophes

One of the most stressful aspects of managing your life, job or business are those darn SURPRISES.

For example, you are going along, believing everything is fine, then WHAM! Your son gets arrested. Your neighbor cuts down your tree. Your car is stolen.

Any job can include surprising catastrophes. You get demoted or transferred. Your co-worker falsely accuses you of theft. Your boss screams at you.

Management surprises can be the most stressful of all. A key employee suddenly quits. A government agent walks in to do an inspection. Some crazy guy screams at your receptionist and won't leave.

Odds are good you will get hit with several surprises in your life. As a result, your forward progress can be stopped. Your production can be blocked. Your success can be ruined.

Even worse, the more successful you are, or the bigger your business becomes, the more often you might be hit with surprises.

Bad Solutions

You might be so afraid of catastrophes that you take them too seriously. You decide to stop succeeding. To earn less money. To be less aggressive, less intense or less passionate.

You believe that if you are small and insignificant, people will leave you alone. But of course, they just hunt you down.

Another bad approach is to get upset when a catastrophe occurs. You act like a victim or a coward. Yet this often makes the problem even worse. You seem to attract even more surprises.

Getting numb is another bad solution. You might want to use drugs or alcohol to deaden your feelings. You try to turn off the world. But this hurts your success as you need to perceive and think with clarity if you wish to succeed.

Constantly worrying makes your life miserable. You spend so much time thinking about problems and potential catastrophes that you are blind to the opportunities that surround you.

Luckily, you can reduce your stress and worry by planning ahead.

Surprise Insurance

"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Your best insurance is to predict and plan for catastrophes IN ADVANCE. Once you have a plan for handling every conceivable surprise, you can relax.

When you have a plan for a disaster, you are ready for it. Instead of reacting to the problem, while upset and prone to making mistakes, you take command of the situation. You resolve it with your plan. Your prosperity continues.

For example, as a boss, you learn a former employee is suing you. If you planned for this possibility in advance, you would know exactly what to do. Your paperwork would be filed and organized. Your lawyer would send a copy of your paperwork to the employee's attorney. The employee's attorney would see you had done everything right and drop the case.

As another example, you can't sleep because you MUST get to work on time to give a presentation. So instead of tossing and turning in your bed, you turn on the lights. You write down every reason you might be late. You plan how to handle each. You set two alarm clocks and a wind-up alarm in case the power goes out. You figure out another way to get to work in case your car won't start. You lay out your clothes and set up your coffee maker. You are now prepared! You get in bed and instantly fall asleep.

The same principle works on a personal level. For example, Joe is worried his wife will be angry when she finds out he quit his job. He plans a way to explain it to her so she can understand his reasons. He also plans on how to respond to anything she says to him. Joe stops worrying and goes home. When he first gives her the news, he is ready for a bad reaction, but she is fine. Because he planned for a catastrophe, it does not happen. They discuss their finances and make plans for his job search.

Recommendations

1. Make a list of all the catastrophes you expect may happen to you. Include everything that makes you worry. Small things, big things, anything you can think of.

2. Next to each item on your list, write up a plan to handle it. Some potential catastrophes require a single preparation step. Others need a detailed, 20-step plan.

3. As you do this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable and nervous. Just keep working on it. As you plan out more solutions and get prepared, you will feel more relaxed and confident than ever before. You become ready for anything!

4. After you finish, you will probably think of more things to add to your list. So keep it handy.

5. Each time you feel stressed or worried about a potential problem, add the potential surprise to your list. If it's already on the list, simply add more preparation steps until you are no longer worried.

6. Review the list every few months. When you review old solutions, you think of new preventive steps and better solutions.

Biggest Benefit

"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard

That's right! Because you have planned for the surprises on your list, they won't happen to you. Most people don't believe this is true. However, write down your plans and see for yourself.

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TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC: Part 3

Get Whatever You Want with ARC Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC)

"The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication

Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 1
Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 2

Part 3: How to Use ARC to Form New Relationships

Wouldn't it be great if you could become fast friends with nearly everyone you met? If you could make people like you right away? If you could earn the support from everyone you wished to have support from?

For example, you could get strangers to agree with you within a few minutes. You could get the leaders in your field to listen to you and give you whatever you needed. You could earn respect from your coworkers, staff, colleagues, friends and family.

You can do all of these things with ARC. You start by using communication. Simply follow two steps:

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work)

For example, you want to form a business relationship with a business owner. You invite him to lunch. Where do you start?

1. Find something you like about the owner. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking shoes. You have some affinity for him. This step is done.

2. Discuss something with which he can agree. He mentions that he hates the hot weather outside. You say, "I can't stand the heat either, but my wife loves it." He says, "My wife likes it too. Something is wrong with them." You both laugh.

You can also ask questions to find something with which to agree. What has he been doing lately? How is his business going? What does he like about his field? What does he do for fun? Does he have any children?

Maybe you learn he loves to play tennis, has trouble with a government regulation and worries about his father's health. You also have trouble with the same government regulation and so you discuss it. Your ARC with the business owner goes up.

As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish ARC with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her, perhaps her red-leather briefcase.

So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. Your affinity is established. You then find something with which she can agree. "Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find points of agreement. You have ARC and perhaps a new business relationship.

If you are single and want to meet someone new, these two steps are great for breaking the ice with the opposite sex, even if you feel shy. For example, you notice someone you want to meet in a bookstore. He or she is looking at magazines. You do the first step and find something you like, such as this person's hair, shoes and voice. You suddenly feel less shy. You then find something with which you can agree. "I need a good magazines. Which ones do you like best?" "I see you like gardening magazines. Me too. Have you seen this one?"

You can use this formula to form relationships with people who are difficult for you to understand. Say you get on that airplane for a long flight to Chicago and are assigned to sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with McDonalds Big Mac breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his t-shirt. You feel a little better about the fellow. You find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?" "What do you like to do after school?" "That is quite a tattoo you have." Before long, you have enough ARC with this teenager to enjoy sitting next to him for the flight.

Recommendations

1. List all the people or types of people with whom you want to form a relationship.

2. Work out a way to use the two steps with each of them:

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work)

Give it a try!

The Problems of Work is available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm and www.bridgepub.com.
Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 1
Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 2

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TipsForSuccess: The Number One Fear of Executives

The Number One Fear of Executives

The one thing that scares more business owners, executives and managers than anything else: delegating power to employees who might fail.

Only courageous leaders are able to pass down authority, decision-making power and responsibility to those below them. They do this despite the incompetence, inability and inexperience of their people.

History is filled with leaders who could not lead. L. Ron Hubbard uses a South American leader, Simon Bolivar, as an example of how extraordinary people can fail as executives.

Simon Bolivar successfully won the South American revolutionary war against Spain during the 1800's. After the war he was the richest, most powerful man in South America, but only for a brief period. Because of his mistakes, he was soon kicked out of his country and eventually, died broke.

Bolivar made the same huge mistake most failed executives make. He could not delegate power. It cost him everything.

"Brave beyond any general in history on the battlefield, the Andes or in torrential rivers, he [Simon Bolivar] did not really have the bravery needed to trust inferior minds and stand by their often shocking blunders. He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds.

"He could lead men, make men feel wonderful, make men fight and lay down their lives after hardships no army elsewhere in the world had ever faced before or since. But he could not use men even when they were begging to be used."

"If you have power, use it or delegate it or you sure won't have it long." -- L. Ron Hubbard

After winning the revolution against Spain, Bolivar took over and tried to do everything himself. He felt he had to be in charge of everything and make all the decisions.

For example, after the war, some of the richest gold, silver and copper mines in the world were abandoned by the Spanish owners. Bolivar did not allow anyone to take over these mines, even though his officers and troops were sitting around with nothing to do.

He did not assign anyone to take over the justice system, the education system, the roads or the cities. He was afraid that new powerful leaders would hurt the country.

The same thing happens in governments, businesses and groups today.

For example, John has ten smart employees, but he makes all the decisions and does all the important work himself. His staff watch him work very hard. They are not allowed to make decisions, so they wait for John to tell them what to do. His company does not grow and John starts to burn out.

Finally, he gets enough courage to give some authority to his best employee, Jill. "You are now in charge of the all of the work schedules. Sort out the shifts and vacations."

Jill is happy to take over and posts a new schedule . . . but John gets scared. He worries she will upset the other secretaries. He feels anxiety about her new schedule.

If John is a stupid executive, he will change the schedule. If John is a smart executive, he will leave the schedule alone.

John succeeds as an executive when he delegates entire jobs and lets his people get on with it. He gives staff members room to make mistakes, fix their mistakes and learn from their mistakes. He supports them and leaves them alone.

Recommendations for Business Owners, Executives, Managers and Bosses

1. Make a list of every job you are currently doing yourself.

2. Rate each job according to difficulty. For example, put a 1 by the easiest jobs and a 5 by the hardest jobs. Rate every job from 1-5.

3. Decide who can take over which jobs. Put their name next to the job you will be delegating. You will delegate the easiest jobs first. If you do not currently have a person to take over some of your jobs, use "future" names, such as "Future Marketing Director" or "Future Executive Director."

4. Delegate each job as fast as possible. Train them, apprentice them and help them succeed. As soon as they know what they are doing and are getting results, leave them alone.

5. With your free time, focus on the big picture; new goals, new territory, new operations and greater success for you and your organization.

Ten Benefits of Delegating Power

1. You can spend more time working on the things you do best.

2. You help others become more competent.

3. You can focus on increasing the productivity and income for your group.

4. People like to work for you as you give them new challenges and new opportunities.

5. You get more done with less effort.

6. Everyone in your group shows more responsibility.

7. Your income goes up.

8 The members of your group earn more pay.

9. Your group grows and expands.

10. You reach your goals and your group's goals in less time.

If You are Not Yet An Executive . . .

. . . you soon will be if you do the following:

1. Look for opportunities to take on more responsibility. Grab every bit you can. Do not worry about extra pay at this point.

2. When you get a duty assigned to you, get the entire duty assigned. "So if I take on this job, can I make all the related decisions? If I want to try a new approach, can I just go ahead? How should I report my progress to you?"

3. If your boss tries to take back some of the responsibility, bring it up as soon as possible. "Am I still in charge of this duty? If you want to take it back, that is fine with me, I just need to know. If you are really delegating it to me, I'll need to have full authority over it which means you won't step in without talking to me first. Is that okay?"

4. As soon as you can, start to delegate duties to people below you so you can take on even more responsibility.

5. You are now an executive! Follow the five recommendations above for executives.

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TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 2

Get Anything You Want with ARC
(Affinity, Reality and Communication)

"Without affinity, there is no reality or communication. Without reality, there is no affinity or communication. Without communication, there is neither affinity nor reality. Now, these are sweeping statements, but are nevertheless very valuable and are true." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication

By using ARC, you can significantly improve your relationships at work and at home, find new friends, make more sales, negotiate better deals, lead your group more effectively and help more people. You will be selected as the best person for a date, for promotions at work, big contracts for your business or whatever you want most from life. Using this tool gives you more self-confidence, greater peace of mind and an improved view of yourself.

Part 1 in this series explains how the ARC Triangle works and how you can increase the amount of ARC you have with someone. You can read Part 1 by going to www.tipsforsuccess.org/ARC1. Part 2 explains how you can repair upsets you have with others.

Part 2: Breaks in the ARC Triangle

Whenever you feel upset with someone, you have a broken triangle or an "ARC break." Every argument, fight or break up includes an ARC break. Everyone who once liked you and now seeks revenge against you, tries to get even with you or hopes you fail has an ARC break with you.

"The ARC break will vanish magically when the source is found." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You simply find and restore the broken point of the triangle. When did the upset begin? Which point of the triangle had a sudden drop?

Did you suddenly dislike the person (A)?

Did you have a disagreement (R)?

Did you have a communication problem (C)?

Once you spot the problem, you can repair it. If you fix the right problem, the sun shines, the birds sing and everything goes back to normal.

Example: Your accountant calls and says, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I made a mistake. You need $10,000 by the end of the week to pay your taxes or you'll get a $5000 penalty."

You say, "You idiot! I don't have that kind of money. How could you do this to me!" You hang up. You feel betrayed. You decide the accountant is an enemy and that you should not talk to him again.

Later, you still feel upset. You try to feel better, but you cannot. So you examine the problem to determine if the break in the ARC triangle is A, R or C.

You realize the problem is not that you dislike the accountant, but that your reality is shaken. You disagree with this new reality of owing taxes. This break in the R point of the triangle makes you want less communication. Of course, the A or Affinity point is therefore dropped as well.

Now that you know the problem is a break in reality, you calm down and decide to handle it. You call and say, "Sorry I hung up on you Peter, but the news was a shock to me. You need to explain this as it's so unreal to me." Within seconds, you and your accountant work out a solution.

When People Get Upset with You

When someone gets upset with you, you can use your knowledge of the ARC triangle to resolve the problem. For example, Fred, an old friend of yours, is acting odd on the phone. He doesn't say much and won't talk to you. You think back and try to determine if the problem is with A, R or C.

You ask yourself, "Did we suddenly dislike each other? No. Did we disagree about something? No. Did we have a communication problem?"

You realize you forgot to return Fred's call last month (a break in communication) so you say, "I'm really sorry I didn't call you back last month." Fred suddenly says, "Yeah! Call me when I leave a message so I don't have to come over there and throw eggs at you, okay?" You both laugh.

As another example, you have been negotiating a contract with Pam and your last offer made her so mad she broke off the meeting and stormed out. Without your knowledge of ARC you might give up on the deal or start using intermediaries.

Instead, you look over the situation and evaluate the ARC. Which point is the most damaged? You realize the R or reality point went bad as no one can agree. How can you repair this break in reality?

You could raise the communication point by trying to call, but that does not seem appropriate. You could send a cheerful greeting card to increase the affinity, but that doesn't sound right either. You want Pam to realize there are more points of agreement than disagreement.

So you fax her a list that describes all the many points of agreement already established along with a request that she calls you when ready to complete the negotiation.

Your telephone rings 10 minutes later. Pam starts the conversation with an apology.

Exercise

1. Are you currently upset with anyone?

2. If so, which of the three points of the ARC triangle do you think is broken? Is it broken because you dislike the person? Because you disagree with the person? Because you failed to communicate with the person?

3. How could you repair the break? What steps could you take?

4. Take those steps today!

5. Repeat the above four steps for other people you may be upset with.

6. Repeat with anyone who may be upset with you.

7. Repeat with anyone in your past with whom you wish to rekindle a relationship.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Learn more about ARC in The Problems of Work available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm and http://www.bridgepub.com.

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TipsForSuccess: Make More Money by Facing the Music

Make More Money by Facing the Music

Steve has the golden touch. Everything he does makes money. As an employee at a furniture store, he gets fast promotions and raises. After five years, he is the top manager and makes a deal with the owner to buy the business. He makes several improvements and triples the income. He has no debt, saves money every month and has a lot of fun.

Andy never has any money. He works hard at the same furniture company, but never gets ahead. He can't remember his last raise and is terrified of starting a business. He spends more than he makes, so his debts are steadily increasing. Because he constantly worries about money, he has health problems, as well.

What is the greatest difference between Steve and Andy?

"Man is having trouble with finance? Obviously, he is unwilling to confront* money." -- L. Ron Hubbard

(*Confront has two common definitions: 1) meet face-to-face in hostility or defiance. 2) face up to and deal with a problem. In this article, we are using the second definition.)

To resolve money troubles, you confront or face all aspects of money. To really confront something, you have no resistance, no hesitation and no emotion. You simply face it 100%.

For example, you can probably confront an apple. The apple does not scare you or upset you. You can easily control and enjoy the apple.

However, a credit card bill, a financial disagreement or a problem with taxes may not be as easy for you to face. These areas of low confront actually hurt your ability to have money.

When you face something completely, the area starts to improve. It's amazing how much money you can make when you improve your ability to confront money matters.

Using our example above, Steve is a financial success because he faces all financial problems. For example, he fearlessly sells big packages of office furniture to the toughest customers.

Andy gets so nervous when talking to big-shot customers that he prefers to stay in the store instead of going to customer's offices. If he were willing to confront tough customers, and went to see them despite his fear, he would conquer his fear and earn more money.

Two Steps for Increasing Your Financial Confront

If you are not making as much money as you like, what about money are you not confronting?

Non-confront comes in many forms: fear, avoidance, shyness, laziness, procrastination, terror, pretense, anxiety, stress, worry, upsets, forgetfulness, disorganization, hatred, lies, shame, blame, regret, critical thoughts and excuses. Do you experience any of these forms of non-confront regarding money?

If you are willing to increase your ability to confront money, you will have more of it. All you need to do is:

1. Identify an aspect of money you are not confronting.

2. Confront it: face it, deal with it, take responsibility for it; invest the hard work and persistence required to resolve it.

20 Questions

To help you get started, these questions may help you identify the areas of money you should confront.

1. How much money do you owe?

2. How much loan interest do you pay per month?

3. How much money do you spend per month? On what?

4. How much money do you waste per month?

5. Is your checkbook balanced?

6. Do you avoid preparing tax forms?

7. Are you not paying money you promised to pay?

8. Are you avoiding anyone who owes you money?

9. Are you involved in a financial disagreement?

10. What are you doing with money that you should not be doing? That you should be doing?

11. Do you have a long-term financial plan?

12. What work skills should you improve?

13. How could you produce a better service or product?

14. What about your income are you avoiding?

15. What do you lie about regarding money?

16. What bad habits do you have with money?

17. What scares you about money?

18. What are you putting off?

19. What do you hate about money?

20. What steps would be needed for you to increase your income? Which of these steps seem too difficult for you to face?

Pick one thing you are willing to confront, confront it today and see what happens!

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TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 1

TipsForSuccess: You Tried to Reach a Goal and Failed . . . Now What?

Get Anything You Want with ARC
(Affinity, Reality and Communication)

By using this powerful tool, you can form a meaningful relationship with anyone you like. Based on these relationships, you can get the raise, promotion, sale, contract, friendship, marriage, support or cooperation you need.

"The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard

ARC (pronounced as A-R-C, not "ark") forms the basis for all of your relationships. L. Ron Hubbard discovered the rules and uses of ARC during the 1950s.

Every relationship has three parts:

Affinity: how much you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas

These three parts interact with each other and so form a triangle.

Part 1: How ARC Works

Purdue University did a study a few years ago to determine why some of their graduates succeeded and others did not. After several years of analyzing the success of their engineering students, Purdue came to the following conclusions:

"The average salary of the students with the highest grades was only slightly higher than the average salary of all the graduates. The salaries of the most popular students, the ones with the good personalities, were much higher than the average of all students. Also, their salaries were much higher than the students with the highest grades."

A popular personality is based on ARC. When you have good ARC with people, they understand you, believe in you, trust you, help you and feel good about you. ARC is such a powerful tool that the simple lack of ARC results in upsets, distrust, hatred and attacks.

"Understanding is composed of affinity, reality and communication." -- L. Ron Hubbard

The ARC Triangle gives you a deeper understanding of people. When you truly understand your spouse, children, boss, coworkers, employees, customers, clients, neighbors and friends, you can help them, talk to them, reach more agreements and enjoy their company more than ever before.

You have more ARC for some people than others. For example, you have high ARC with a coworker or colleague if you like the person (Affinity), can talk about many subjects (Communication) and agree on many subjects (Reality). You understand this person and this person understands you.

You probably also know someone with whom you have low ARC. You cannot agree on things (Reality), you do not like the person very much (Affinity) and you do not communicate.

In Part One of this series of articles on ARC, you will learn how you can easily increase your ARC with anyone.

How to Increase ARC with Anyone

"The triangle of affinity, reality and communication could be called an interactive triangle in that no point of it can be raised without affecting the other two points and raising them, and no point of it can be lowered without affecting the other two points." -- L. Ron Hubbard

So all you need to do is decide which point of the triangle you can increase and the other two points automatically rise!

In other words, if you increase the volume or quality of communication you have with someone, you are raising the C point of the triangle. As a result, the A point and the R point both rise. If you simply talk about anything to a person for enough time (C), the person likes you more (A) and agrees with you more (R).

For example, you meet a new fellow at work named Richard and instantly dislike him. Maybe his attitude or appearance rubs you the wrong way. You really don't want to communicate with him (C) or to agree on any reality with him (R). There is little or no understanding.

However, you decide you need to understand Richard so you can work with him. So you ask yourself, "Which of the three points can I raise?" You decide to work on the C part of the triangle and just start talking to him. "Where did you work before?" "How long have you lived in this area?" "Do you have any kids?"

As a result of your communication, you find out he has three kids about the same age as your kids. You share a reality here and so you chat about children. You find yourself agreeing with Richard. Within a few minutes, you realize you like Richard. You understand each other better than before. You look forward to working with him.

As another example, you want to have more ARC and a better understanding of Stella. Stella could be your boss, an important client, a potential mate or other valuable contact. You currently know little about Stella, but have scheduled to meet with her for lunch.

During lunch, you notice Stella is not talking very much. She rarely looks at you and barely smiles. You realize the Communication point of the triangle is not very good with Stella. The Affinity point is also weak as she does not seem to like you very much. So you decide to raise the Reality point of the triangle. You look for things to agree on. "How do you relax after work?" "What kind of exercise do you like?" "Do you have a vacation coming up?"

Stella mentions she loves sailboats and you happen to be a sailboat fanatic. Because of this shared Reality point of the triangle, you and Stella suddenly have a lot to talk about. After several minutes of sailboat chat, you notice she is smiling at you and you feel a higher level Affinity for her.

As a final example, you want a better relationship with your spouse. You have not been talking very much lately and seem to disagree more often than before. You decide to increase the Affinity point of the triangle in your marriage.

Before you go home, you decide to just feel more Affinity. You think of all the things you like about your spouse. After a few minutes, your mood improves and you look forward to going home.

At home, you give your spouse a big smile. You hug and kiss your spouse. At first, he or she is a little shocked, but soon starts to return the affection and your Affinity point rises. You talk about your day's events (C) and agree (R) on your plans for the evening. Your ARC Triangle is higher than it has been for a while.

This is the power of ARC. With this knowledge, you can rehabilitate or create a wonderful relationship with anyone.

Recommendations

1. Write down something you want. Do not limit yourself to money or physical objects, but consider new opportunities, powerful contacts, new or deeper friendships, contracts or deals, promotions, projects you want to do and so on.

2. List the names of people who can help you get it.

3. Decide which point of the triangle you can increase with each person: Affinity, Reality or Communication.

4. Increase that one point with each person until the other two points of the triangle increase.

5. Continue to increase your ARC Triangle with each person until you reach your objective.

In future articles, we will cover more ways you can use this powerful tool to form friendships with strangers, become a better leader, negotiate better deals, increase your success at work, improve your marriage and boost your self confidence.

Learn more about ARC in the book The Problems of Work by L. Ron Hubbard, available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm and www.bridgepubs.com.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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You Tried to Reach a Goal and Failed . . . Now What?

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Have you ever said:

"I have too many problems to reach my goals."
"I'm the wrong age/wrong race/wrong gender/wrong nationality."
"It seems too hard for me to do."
"I'd rather watch TV."
"Whatever made me think I could do that?"
"I'm sick of the whole thing."
"I simply can't do it."
"I'll do it some other time."
"I don't have enough energy."
"I didn't realize it would be this difficult."
"Like most people, I'll never reach my dreams."
"I've lost hope."

Once you start saying, "can't," you are on the downhill road to failure. "I can't do the project." "I can't pay my bills." "I can't succeed." Of course, barriers to success are part of society.

For example, most government regulations outline the things you cannot do. "You can't park there." "You can't keep that money." "Unless you follow these regulations, you can't . . . ." Pick up any law and notice how often the words "Prohibit," "Forbidden" and "Disallowed" occur while words like "Encouraged," "Allowed" and "Recommended" are absent.

Some employers like to act like governments and stop things. "You can't leave early." "You can't have more authority." "You can't do things your own way."

Businesses do it to customers. "We can't see you without an appointment." "I can't give you a discount if you pay in full." "Sorry, we cannot help you."

The real damage occurs when you stop yourself. "I can't handle more work." "I can't earn more money." "I can't change."

Have You Been Stopped?

When all you see in life are problems, you feel stopped. When you decide the forces in the universe are against you, you feel stopped. Whenever you feel like giving up, you feel stopped.

Why might you feel there are so many barriers to your progress?

"STOPS ALL OCCUR BECAUSE OF FAILED PURPOSES. BEHIND EVERY STOP THERE IS A FAILED PURPOSE." -- L. Ron Hubbard

The sequence goes like this:

1. You have a purpose to _________.

For example, do you remember some of your old purposes? Make $20 million. Raise a happy family. Tour Europe. Get involved in the community. Make a major contribution to society. Help people. Buy a mansion.

2. For one reason or other, you decide you have failed to achieve that purpose.

When you made some effort to achieve your purpose, you felt stopped. Maybe achieving the purpose turned out to be more difficult than you expected. Maybe you saw someone else fail. Perhaps you became afraid or lazy. Maybe someone got in your road.

3. You then invent or agree with stops or barriers to your purpose.

"It's too much work for me." "I need a better education first." "They don't want me to do this." "No one succeeds without lucky breaks." "I don't know what to do." "It's better to settle for less."

Some people go even lower and begin to oppose solutions: "Don't try to help me as it is impossible." "I tried all the solutions and none of them work." "No one has the answers." "You should give up, too."

You stop looking for ways to succeed. You avoid setting any goals at all. You feel very tired.

Fortunately, you can turn things around and reach your biggest goals.

The Law Regarding Failed Purposes

"THERE IS A LAW ABOUT THIS -- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO RESTORE LIFE AND ACTION IS TO REKINDLE* THE FAILED PURPOSE. THE STOPS WILL AT ONCE BLOW." -- L. Ron Hubbard (rekindle: revive or renew)

A simple solution to a very big, difficult problem. Just fire up your original purpose and the stops or barriers magically disappear! Can it be that easy?

Example: Jill, an amateur athlete, wants to enter and finish a 25-mile marathon even though she lost a leg in an auto accident when she was a teenager. She starts to run every day with her prosthetic leg, but trips and falls every mile or so. People keep telling her, "You're so brave!" "I really admire you for trying." "I would have given up long ago." Finally, after missing a few runs, she decides it is too difficult.

She tries to run one morning anyway. Usually, her real leg has a slight cramp, but this morning it feels worse. Jill normally pushes through, but for some reason, she lets it bother her. Suddenly, she falls on the sidewalk and scrapes her elbows and hands. A delivery truck drives by, hits a puddle and soaks her clothes while she is down. She quits for the day.

Each morning a new reason for not running comes up. She has a dental appointment. The weather is bad. The cat runs away. Stops, stops, stops.

She tells her family and friends, "I just didn't realize how tough it would be." "It's too cold and wet out there." "I probably should have given up long ago." The thought of running makes her tired.

Jill then learns the law about failed purposes. She thinks about ways she can fire up her original purpose. "All I wanted to do was enter and finish that stupid 25-mile run! Why did I want to do that? Oh yeah, it wasn't to prove anything. It wasn't to make people admire me. I wanted to run that race long before I lost the leg. I remember when I first saw people finishing the race on TV when I was in junior high school. I thought I should do that. It would be a really great thing to do. I would just prove to myself that I could run 25 miles. THAT was my purpose! I still want that!"

Within seconds, Jill feels great! She sees no reason she can't finish the 25-mile race. She changes her clothes and gets back into training. But this time, she is more determined than ever. "Nothing is going to stop me this time!" The stops have blown off.

Recommendations

1. What have you given up on? What goals did you once have, but now think are impossible? What purposes have failed?

2. FIRE THEM UP! What were your original reasons? Rekindle, renew and revive those original reasons.

3. Make the purposes stronger. Put more energy into them. Convince yourself that you can accomplish those purposes despite all the barriers. Notice what happens to all the "reasons" preventing that purpose.

4. Plan how you will reach these goals. Write down the steps. Focus on how you can succeed.

5. Make one small step toward the goal. Make another. Get some momentum going.

6. Each time you feel like quitting, change your mind and remember your reasons, your goals, your purposes.

7. You never fail until you decide to stop trying, so persist until you win!

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