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TipsForSuccess: Two Reasons People Might Dislike You


Two Reasons People Might Dislike You

When people do not like you, they avoid you, disagree with you or ignore you. You try to explain how important you are, but no one agrees. They have no time for you, do not wish to talk to you and often misunderstand you.

So you take extra showers, use a better mouth wash and buy new clothes. You get a new hair cut, buy colored contact lenses and try a different deodorant. You try to be popular by avoiding unattractive, unimportant people. But for some reason, people still do not like you very much.

Possible Reason #1


"Asserting one's own importance is about as acceptable as a dead cat at a wedding."
-- L. Ron Hubbard


Do you know someone who constantly tells you how important he or she is? Do you admire and respect this person?

Explaining how important you are is a dead-end road. You turn people off.

The reverse is also true. When you make people feel important, they feel good and want to be around you. Your customers or clients are more cooperative when they believe you have a high opinion of them. Coworkers give you more support when you make them feel important.

Certain people are very sensitive about their importance. They get upset or angry if you treat them with less importance than they feel they deserve. In many cases, the less money, skill or power people have, the greater their need to feel important.

Giving or granting importance to others is a skill you can use to boost goodwill and cooperation. When you make people feel important, they trust you, believe you and like you. They make you successful.

Possible Reason #2


"Ignore people at your peril." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Do you know someone who walks with their nose in the air? Who ignores those beneath him or her? Who walks by you as if you do not exist?

You can ruin your success when you ignore people. For example, salespeople rarely get past receptionists when they treat receptionists like they do not exist. And receptionists get in trouble for ignoring people who look like a salespersons, but are actually VIPs.

Contrary to what you may have learned as a teenager, if you ignore people, they do not admire and respect you. Instead, they despise and hate you. Arrogance is not the same as popularity, power or expertise.

Never assume anyone is unimportant.

Recommendations

1. Instead of making yourself seem important, make other people feel important. Treat everyone you meet as a VIP.

2. Notice everyone you see. Give them your full attention and really listen to them.

"People have value and are important. Big or small they are important."
-- L. Ron Hubbard


With practice, you can notice people and make them feel important with just a glance. Such a skill gives you the respect, cooperation and friendship you need to succeed.

Work on it!
 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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The Power of Your Imagination (Part Two)

"The Power of Your Imagination (Part One)" shows how you can use your imagination to make an unpleasant existence into something more enjoyable. For example, while waiting in a long line, you can use your imagination to daydream about hiking near a cold mountain river. You can read Part One at www.tipsforsuccess.org/imagination1.htm.

Your imagination has several other powerful uses.

"Imagination could be classified as the ability to create or forecast a future or to create, change or destroy a present or past." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Increase Your Productivity

Your imagination can make you more efficient. Try this: List all the tasks you want to complete today.
Before you start, take a few seconds to imagine yourself completing everything on time.

When you imagine the successful completion of a task, plan or goal, you are not easily sidetracked. You know how to make progress. It's like having a mental road map to follow.

Break Bad Habits


For example, you want to quit smoking cigarettes. So you create a future where you do not smoke. You see yourself enjoying a wonderful dinner in a fancy restaurant with no urge to light up. As a result, you work all day with no cigarette breaks. You watch your lungs clean up.

Dump Mental Baggage

Whenever an experience in your past bothers you, use your imagination to change it or destroy it.

For example, when you were a child, a girl named Gracie teased you about your big nose. She made you hate your nose and it still bothers you. Instead of getting a nose job, you imagine a different past. Gracie is now your best friend. Bang! You feel no need to change your big nose.

Understand Others

Use your imagination to understand how others feel. For example, your neighbor's barking dog wakes you up every night, but you don't know how to talk to your neighbor about the noise. So you imagine that YOU have a barking dog. Your neighbor wants you to keep the dog quiet. How should your neighbor discuss this with you?

Use your imagination to understand how your spouse, children, parents or friends feel. For example, you want to improve your marriage, so you imagine what it's like to be your spouse. How does it feel to be married to YOU? What must you change about your behavior to improve the marriage? You use your imagination to change the present.

Solve Problems

Write down a problem you currently face. Make a list of possible solutions. Imagine how each solution will work. Use the solution you imagine will work best.


Resolve Fears

For example, you are terrified of speaking in public, but need to give a talk to your church group. You see a future where everyone boos and throws rotten tomatoes at you. Using your imagination, you change this future and see everyone fascinated with your talk and grateful to you for giving them the information.

Then, just as you imagined, you get on stage and notice the congregation is smiling and interested in what you have to say. You notice that you feel no fear.

Improve Your Future

Perhaps the best use of your imagination concerns your future. What do you really want to happen? What will your future be like if everything goes well? Imagine this future.

You can imagine any future you like: happiness, money, justice, peace, love, prosperity and more.

You have an unlimited number of ways to use your imagination to change your past, improve your present and create a successful future. Use your imagination to discover them!

 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

TipsForSuccess: The Power of Your Imagination

 


The Power of Your Imagination (Part One)

If you were locked up in prison for ten years, how would you survive?

If you feel locked in a bad marriage, bad job or bad living arrangement, it might seem like you are in prison. The stress and depression can be unbearable.

Even waiting in long lines, traffic jams or boring meetings can feel like jail.

Luckily, you have the mental ability to improve your mood in any situation.

"Imagination is a good thing, not a bad thing. With daydreaming, for instance, a person can convert a not-too-pleasant existence into something livable." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Instead of feeling frustrated while sitting in a traffic jam, have a daydream about your next vacation. You can lay in your hospital bed for hours, with nothing to do, and enjoy a daydream about a shopping trip. You can spend an entire day in a jail cell while imagining a day at the beach.

Your imagination reduces your stress and lightens your mood. Instead of enduring life, you enjoy it. You control the dream; the dream does not control you.

Imagination is so powerful, it can do much more than make bad conditions more bearable.

"Imagination could be classified as the ability to create or forecast a future or to create, change or destroy a present or past."
-- L. Ron Hubbard

Destroy a Past

After being married to Bill for 10 years, Julie has an brief affair with an old boyfriend. She breaks off the affair and tells her husband Bill what she did.

One year later, Bill tells his friend, "I've tried, but I just can't forgive her. I want us to have a wonderful marriage, but all I can think about is her in a motel bed with her boyfriend."

Bill's friend, who knows the power of imagination, says, "Use your imagination to fix this. Imagine she never had the affair."

Bill does this. "Okay. Julie never even saw this guy. It never happened. She was shopping." He closes his eyes and puts his imagination to work. A few minutes later, he says, "Fantastic! I feel better about this. I even think I can forgive her now."

Of course, Bill knows Julie was unfaithful, but the past incident no longer ruins his marriage. He used his imagination to destroy the affair.

Change the Present


Liza works for a nasty, mean boss. "Liza! I told you to clean my bathroom first. Get to work you stupid cow!" She feels like crying whenever he yells at her.

Liza uses her imagination to change the present. "I'm going to imagine my boss is only five years old and I let him think he's really important."

Now, when the boss yells at Liza, she feels like smiling at his tantrum. Liza uses her imagination to change the present.

Create a Future

Three years after graduating from high school, Charles is still broke. "I work hard at my job at ABC Computers, but I just can't get ahead. I don't want to fix computers for the rest of my life."

Charles uses his imagination to create a future. "I will create a new website that millions of people will pay to use. It will be inexpensive for the user, but make me wealthy."

He daydreams about his new website every day. He thinks of several new ideas. He imagines how each website would work. Using his imagination, he even solves all the problems that may occur with his future website business.

Charles arranges to get transferred to the ABC Computers website design team. When his new boss recognizes his creativity, she gives him exciting new projects. Charles enjoys his new work a great deal. His pay doubles within a few months.

Charles keeps imagining his own website business and works on it at home every night.

Charles used his imagination to change his future.

Three More Ways to Use Your Imagination

1. Successful business owners are constantly imagining how they can give a better service or produce a better product. They turn these imagined improvements into reality.

As a worker, a great way to increase your income is to do the same. Use your imagination to see how you can make your work more valuable.

2. Use your imagination to feel happier. Mentally see yourself smiling and feeling good. Try it right now. Imagine you will feel energized and happy in 60 seconds.

3. Use your imagination to change any condition you dislike with your body. For example, if you are ill, imagine the disease slowly dissolving.

If you have a fat butt that you don't like, imagine it becoming skinny. If you dislike your bald head, imagine it full of hair. If you wish you were shorter or taller, use your imagination to raise or lower your height.

Don't be surprised if your body changes a bit!

 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: The Greater Your Control . . .


The Greater Your Control, the Greater Your Success

Note: This week's article is excerpted from the TipsForSuccess Interactive Coaching website, Section One (www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org/index.aspx?page=CM-1-1).

"What is control?

"Whether one handles a machine of the size of a car or as small as a typewriter or even an accounting pen, one is faced with the problems of control. An object is of no use to anyone if it cannot be controlled. Just as a dancer must be able to control his body, so must a worker in an office or a factory be able to control his body, the machines of his work and, to some degree, the environment around him.

"The primary difference between 'the worker' in an office or a factory and an executive is that the executive controls minds, bodies and the placement of communications, raw materials and products, the worker controls, in the main, his immediate tools."
-- L. Ron Hubbard
from the book The Problems of Work

Two Restaurant Owners

Steve owns an Italian restaurant and Kate owns a French restaurant. Steve loves to chat with customers while Kate loves to improve her operations.

Steve hires an accountant to handle his bookkeeping while Kate stays late to figure out how to do her own books. Steve hires an attorney to write the employee policies and keep him out of legal trouble. Kate goes to a labor law seminar, writes her own employee policies and has a lawyer check it over.

Steve believes his personality will keep people coming back. Kate decides good food and well-trained servers will keep people coming back.

Steve has no idea how to cook, clean the kitchen or balance the books. He can only hire experienced people to do these jobs. He must bend over backwards to keep them on the job, despite their bad attitudes.

Kate and her cooks invent their own recipes and keep them in a secret file. Kate establishes checklists for the staff for setting up tables, cleaning and so on. She also enjoys training inexperienced cooks, servers and other staff.

Who is in better control?

Who do you expect makes a better profit?

If Steve's top people quit working for him, what will happen to his restaurant?

If Kate's top people quit, what will happen to her restaurant?

Two Medical Transcribers

Jill and Sue, are hired by a hospital to type medical reports explaining patients' treatment so the hospital can collect its fees from insurance companies.

Jill decides to act like a robot and simply type whatever is in front of her. One day, her computer goes down. She calls the technician and paints her fingernails until the computer is fixed. She has no idea what she is typing as she cannot understand the medical terms. She decides to just pretend it is a foreign language. She types every word placed in front of her without using the computer shortcuts. She produces 20 reports per day.

Sue wants more control of her career. So as well as typing the reports, she learns about the computer. She reads the help screens to learn shortcuts in the program. She learns to copy and paste large sections of text and other time-saving actions. She produces 30 reports per day, 10 more than Jill.

When the computer goes down, Sue carefully watches the technician and asks questions so she knows what to do next time.

Sue finds a medical dictionary in the storage room and starts to look up the terms in her reports. She buys lunch for a nurse so she can ask about medical procedures. She even listens to tapes about insurance code rules.

One day, Jill types a report about a one-year-old receiving treatment for Alzheimer's disease. She types it exactly and sends it to the insurance company. That same day, Sue is typing a report for a eighty-year-old man's immunization shot for chicken pox. She knows this is a mistake and sends it back to the nurse. The nurse realizes the patient names were switched.

Another day, Jill's computer goes down. She learns the computer technician is unavailable and asks to go home. Sue overhears the request and offers to fix the computer, which she does.

Who is in better control of her job and career?

Who should get the next promotion?

Self Exam: Are You in Control at Work?

Go to www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org/index.aspx?page=CM-1-4 to test your control at work.

        Symptoms you are not in control of your work
 

  • Tired, exhausted
  • Work area is messy and disorganized
  • Job is not interesting
  • Easily stressed
  • You need constant help
  • You see no way to improve your performance
  • Easily confused by others while on the job
  • Frequently think of quitting
  • Frantically react to emergencies
  • Cannot conceive of greater productivity

    Symptoms you are in control of your work

     
  • Energized, motivated
  • Work area is neat and organized
  • Work is interesting and enjoyable
  • Feel challenged, not stressed
  • Effectively supervise self
  • Constantly looking for ways to improve
  • Rarely confused while on the job
  • Frequently thinking of more responsibility
  • Rationally respond to emergencies
  • Have ideas for increasing productivity

    Use the free interactive coaching website at www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org to improve your control at your work and in life.
     

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: Make a Fresh Start

 


How to Make a Fresh Start

Nothing can ruin your success faster than personal conflicts. Upsets between business partners or battles between bosses and staff ruin productivity, reduce income and build up stress.

Bad marriages can also ruin your success. A stressful marriage can put you in a bad mood at work. You cannot think as efficiently and tend to dislike others.

Bad work relationships can also hurt your marriage. You come home in a bad mood and take it out on your spouse.

Most people have good intentions most of the time. They want to get along, do their work and succeed. Yet personal upsets can make good people into monsters.

Office politics, backstabbing, covert and overt attacks, jealousy, rumors and revenge are the result of personal conflicts. Conflicts are major blocks to your success.

How Do You Deal with Personal Conflicts?

Imagine you get promoted to a management position at work. You now have five staff who now answer to you. Four of them are supportive and friendly. Yet the fifth person, Dick, is a problem.

Dick is not cheerful around you. He jokes and smiles around the other staff, but frowns and gets serious when you show up. He never looks you in the eye. He avoids you whenever possible.

One day, a customer complains about Dick. After you make the customer happy, you call Dick into your office. You say, "So why did you mess up with that customer?"

Dick sneers and says, "He's just a jerk. Take his side if you want. I don't care. Can I get back to work now?"

What do you do?

Let Dick leave your office and pretend there is no problem?

Get angry at him and chew him out?

Plead with him to be nice to you?

Demand he tell you what is wrong?

A Better Approach

The real problem is you have not formed a working relationship with Dick. You need to apply the Non-Existence Formula.

"The Non-Existence Formula is:

"1. Find a comm
[communication] line.

"2. Make yourself known.

"3. Discover what is needed or wanted.

"4. Do, produce and/or present it."
- L. Ron Hubbard


Since you already have the communication line as Dick is sitting in front of you, you can now do steps 2 and 3.

You say, "Dick, before we deal with this customer, I'd like to get our relationship off to a good start. As you know, I'm now in charge here and you are working for me. What do you need or want from me as your boss?"

Dick looks startled. "What do you mean?"

"I want to know the best way to work with you. I also want to tell you what I need and want from you, but let's start with what you need or want from me, okay?"

Dick shrugs and says, "Okay. I like to know what is going on. For example, nobody told me you were taking over."

You say, "Oh really! That's not good. I'm sorry no one told you. As your new boss, I'll be happy to tell you what's going on. I have no secrets. What else do you need and want from me?"

Dick relaxes and says, "I like to handle customers myself. If a customer complains, I'd like a shot at handling him before you step in. No one lets me do this."

You say, "No problem. From now on, when a customer complains, I'll give you one chance to fix the problem yourself."

Dick starts to look interested. "I want to go to lunch at 12:30 instead of noon. I want a better chair for my back. And I want someone to listen to my new ideas of how we can make more sales."

All of this is fine with you.

You say, "Now let me tell you what I need and want from you. I need a daily update on what you are doing. I want you to see me if you aren't sure what to do. I want you to beat your own sales records. I also want you to be friendly to me. Can you do these things?"

Dick's eyes sparkle as he says, "No problem!" He smiles, sticks out his hand and you shake on it.

You and Dick then discuss the customer complaint. Dick says he'll call him and make sure everything is okay.

Dick gets back to work and tells a coworker, "No one from management has ever asked me what I wanted. We might have a good boss here!"

Ten Great Uses of the Non-Existence Formula


1. You start a new job of any kind. You meet with everyone you will be working with. You tell them your new position and follow the steps of the formula. You are in control of your job faster than ever.

2. You are in a conflict with someone. You realize neither of you are doing what the other needs or wants. You arrange a meeting (comm line) and do the next two steps. "Joe, as your assistant, I want to do a perfect job. Can we go over specifically what you need and want from me?"

With a coworker you say, "Jill, we're stuck with each other. I think we should work things out so we get along. What do you need and want from me as your coworker?" "Can I tell you want I need and want from you?"

3. You want to be hired for the perfect job. During the job interview you ask. "If you hire me, what will you need and want from me?" Since no one else has asked, the boss is a little startled by the question, but really enjoys answering it. You explain how you can deliver these needs and wants . . . and more. You get the job on the spot.

4. You want to rent a building space or apartment, but there are several other applicants also want the space. So when turning in your application, you ask the landlord, "If you select me as your tenant, what will you need and want from me as my landlord?" The landlord thinks it over and tells you her needs and wants. No one has ever asked her and she's delighted someone cares. You assure her you can deliver. You are selected above all other applicants.

5. You want your boss to sell you a partnership in his company. You say, "I think you have a great operation here. If you were going to sell a partnership, what might you need and want from a partner?" The boss starts to think about it and mentions a few things. You start to do things he would need from a partner. After a while, he makes you an offer to become a partner.

6. You're dating someone and want to take your relationship to the next level. You find out what this person needs or wants from a mate. You decide if you can do those things or not. If you can, you start to deliver. He or she feels a strong attraction to you and wants to take the relationship to the next level.

You make it clear to this person what you need and want from the relationship. You observe if he or she can do those things for you. If not, you break it off. If he or she can deliver, you go for it!

7. Your marriage is not going well. You ask your spouse, "I want us to have a really good relationship. I think we need a fresh start. Do you agree?"

If your spouse agrees, you ask each other, "What do you need and want from me as your spouse?"

8. Your child is starting in a new school. You visit the school and ask the teacher, "What do you need or want from me?" "What do you need and want from my child?" Your child starts off on the right foot.

9. You are constantly looking for the needs or wants of your customers. For example, a superior cab driver not only finds out the passenger's destination, he asks, "Are you comfortable? Would you like to see today's local newspaper? Can I tell you anything about our city?"

An electronics store surveys its customers every month to find out what they want to buy. An orthodontist asks each new patient for his or her needs and wants. A computer programmer constantly asks users what they need from their computers.

Any successful business finds current data on its clients or customer's needs and wants.

10. You want to form a great relationship with the new leaders of your group. You say, "Hi. I'll be working under you as the ______ and want to know what you need and want from me." You find you get the best treatment from the new leader.

 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

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