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TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC: Part 3

 


Get Whatever You Want with ARC Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC)

"The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication

Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 1
Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 2

Part 3: How to Use ARC to Form New Relationships

Wouldn't it be great if you could become fast friends with nearly everyone you met? If you could make people like you right away? If you could earn the support from everyone you wished to have support from?

For example, you could get strangers to agree with you within a few minutes. You could get the leaders in your field to listen to you and give you whatever you needed. You could earn respect from your coworkers, staff, colleagues, friends and family.

You can do all of these things with ARC. You start by using communication. Simply follow two steps:

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work)

For example, you want to form a business relationship with a business owner. You invite him to lunch. Where do you start?

1. Find something you like about the owner. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking shoes. You have some affinity for him. This step is done.

2. Discuss something with which he can agree. He mentions that he hates the hot weather outside. You say, "I can't stand the heat either, but my wife loves it." He says, "My wife likes it too. Something is wrong with them." You both laugh.

You can also ask questions to find something with which to agree. What has he been doing lately? How is his business going? What does he like about his field? What does he do for fun? Does he have any children?

Maybe you learn he loves to play tennis, has trouble with a government regulation and worries about his father's health. You also have trouble with the same government regulation and so you discuss it. Your ARC with the business owner goes up.

As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish ARC with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her, perhaps her red-leather briefcase.

So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. Your affinity is established. You then find something with which she can agree. "Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find points of agreement. You have ARC and perhaps a new business relationship.

If you are single and want to meet someone new, these two steps are great for breaking the ice with the opposite sex, even if you feel shy. For example, you notice someone you want to meet in a bookstore. He or she is looking at magazines. You do the first step and find something you like, such as this person's hair, shoes and voice. You suddenly feel less shy. You then find something with which you can agree. "I need a good magazines. Which ones do you like best?" "I see you like gardening magazines. Me too. Have you seen this one?"

You can use this formula to form relationships with people who are difficult for you to understand. Say you get on that airplane for a long flight to Chicago and are assigned to sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with McDonalds Big Mac breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his t-shirt. You feel a little better about the fellow. You find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?" "What do you like to do after school?" "That is quite a tattoo you have." Before long, you have enough ARC with this teenager to enjoy sitting next to him for the flight.

Recommendations

1. List all the people or types of people with whom you want to form a relationship.

2. Work out a way to use the two steps with each of them:

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work)

Give it a try!

The Problems of Work is available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm and www.bridgepub.com.
Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 1
Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 2


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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TipsForSuccess: The Number One Fear of Executives

 


The Number One Fear of Executives

The one thing that scares more business owners, executives and managers than anything else: delegating power to employees who might fail.

Only courageous leaders are able to pass down authority, decision-making power and responsibility to those below them. They do this despite the incompetence, inability and inexperience of their people.

History is filled with leaders who could not lead. L. Ron Hubbard uses a South American leader, Simon Bolivar, as an example of how extraordinary people can fail as executives.

Simon Bolivar successfully won the South American revolutionary war against Spain during the 1800's. After the war he was the richest, most powerful man in South America, but only for a brief period. Because of his mistakes, he was soon kicked out of his country and eventually, died broke.

Bolivar made the same huge mistake most failed executives make. He could not delegate power. It cost him everything.

"Brave beyond any general in history on the battlefield, the Andes or in torrential rivers, he [Simon Bolivar] did not really have the bravery needed to trust inferior minds and stand by their often shocking blunders. He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds.

"He could lead men, make men feel wonderful, make men fight and lay down their lives after hardships no army elsewhere in the world had ever faced before or since. But he could not use men even when they were begging to be used."

"If you have power, use it or delegate it or you sure won't have it long." -- L. Ron Hubbard


After winning the revolution against Spain, Bolivar took over and tried to do everything himself. He felt he had to be in charge of everything and make all the decisions.

For example, after the war, some of the richest gold, silver and copper mines in the world were abandoned by the Spanish owners. Bolivar did not allow anyone to take over these mines, even though his officers and troops were sitting around with nothing to do.

He did not assign anyone to take over the justice system, the education system, the roads or the cities. He was afraid that new powerful leaders would hurt the country.

The same thing happens in governments, businesses and groups today.

For example, John has ten smart employees, but he makes all the decisions and does all the important work himself. His staff watch him work very hard. They are not allowed to make decisions, so they wait for John to tell them what to do. His company does not grow and John starts to burn out.

Finally, he gets enough courage to give some authority to his best employee, Jill. "You are now in charge of the all of the work schedules. Sort out the shifts and vacations."

Jill is happy to take over and posts a new schedule . . . but John gets scared. He worries she will upset the other secretaries. He feels anxiety about her new schedule.

If John is a stupid executive, he will change the schedule. If John is a smart executive, he will leave the schedule alone.

John succeeds as an executive when he delegates entire jobs and lets his people get on with it. He gives staff members room to make mistakes, fix their mistakes and learn from their mistakes. He supports them and leaves them alone.

Recommendations for Business Owners, Executives, Managers and Bosses

1. Make a list of every job you are currently doing yourself.

2. Rate each job according to difficulty. For example, put a 1 by the easiest jobs and a 5 by the hardest jobs. Rate every job from 1-5.

3. Decide who can take over which jobs. Put their name next to the job you will be delegating. You will delegate the easiest jobs first. If you do not currently have a person to take over some of your jobs, use "future" names, such as "Future Marketing Director" or "Future Executive Director."

4. Delegate each job as fast as possible. Train them, apprentice them and help them succeed. As soon as they know what they are doing and are getting results, leave them alone.

5. With your free time, focus on the big picture; new goals, new territory, new operations and greater success for you and your organization.

Ten Benefits of Delegating Power

1. You can spend more time working on the things you do best.

2. You help others become more competent.

3. You can focus on increasing the productivity and income for your group.

4. People like to work for you as you give them new challenges and new opportunities.

5. You get more done with less effort.

6. Everyone in your group shows more responsibility.

7. Your income goes up.

8 The members of your group earn more pay.

9. Your group grows and expands.

10. You reach your goals and your group's goals in less time.

If You are Not Yet An Executive . . .

. . . you soon will be if you do the following:

1. Look for opportunities to take on more responsibility. Grab every bit you can. Do not worry about extra pay at this point.

2. When you get a duty assigned to you, get the entire duty assigned. "So if I take on this job, can I make all the related decisions? If I want to try a new approach, can I just go ahead? How should I report my progress to you?"

3. If your boss tries to take back some of the responsibility, bring it up as soon as possible. "Am I still in charge of this duty? If you want to take it back, that is fine with me, I just need to know. If you are really delegating it to me, I'll need to have full authority over it which means you won't step in without talking to me first. Is that okay?"

4. As soon as you can, start to delegate duties to people below you so you can take on even more responsibility.

5. You are now an executive! Follow the five recommendations above for executives.


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 2

 

 


Get Anything You Want with ARC
(Affinity, Reality and Communication)

"Without affinity, there is no reality or communication. Without reality, there is no affinity or communication. Without communication, there is neither affinity nor reality. Now, these are sweeping statements, but are nevertheless very valuable and are true." -- L. Ron Hubbard


Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication

By using ARC, you can significantly improve your relationships at work and at home, find new friends, make more sales, negotiate better deals, lead your group more effectively and help more people. You will be selected as the best person for a date, for promotions at work, big contracts for your business or whatever you want most from life. Using this tool gives you more self-confidence, greater peace of mind and an improved view of yourself.

Part 1 in this series explains how the ARC Triangle works and how you can increase the amount of ARC you have with someone. You can read Part 1 by going to www.tipsforsuccess.org/ARC1. Part 2 explains how you can repair upsets you have with others.

Part 2: Breaks in the ARC Triangle

Whenever you feel upset with someone, you have a broken triangle or an "ARC break." Every argument, fight or break up includes an ARC break. Everyone who once liked you and now seeks revenge against you, tries to get even with you or hopes you fail has an ARC break with you.

"The ARC break will vanish magically when the source is found." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You simply find and restore the broken point of the triangle. When did the upset begin? Which point of the triangle had a sudden drop?

Did you suddenly dislike the person (A)?

Did you have a disagreement (R)?

Did you have a communication problem (C)?

Once you spot the problem, you can repair it. If you fix the right problem, the sun shines, the birds sing and everything goes back to normal.

Example: Your accountant calls and says, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I made a mistake. You need $10,000 by the end of the week to pay your taxes or you'll get a $5000 penalty."

You say, "You idiot! I don't have that kind of money. How could you do this to me!" You hang up. You feel betrayed. You decide the accountant is an enemy and that you should not talk to him again.

Later, you still feel upset. You try to feel better, but you cannot. So you examine the problem to determine if the break in the ARC triangle is A, R or C.

You realize the problem is not that you dislike the accountant, but that your reality is shaken. You disagree with this new reality of owing taxes. This break in the R point of the triangle makes you want less communication. Of course, the A or Affinity point is therefore dropped as well.

Now that you know the problem is a break in reality, you calm down and decide to handle it. You call and say, "Sorry I hung up on you Peter, but the news was a shock to me. You need to explain this as it's so unreal to me." Within seconds, you and your accountant work out a solution.

When People Get Upset with You


When someone gets upset with you, you can use your knowledge of the ARC triangle to resolve the problem. For example, Fred, an old friend of yours, is acting odd on the phone. He doesn't say much and won't talk to you. You think back and try to determine if the problem is with A, R or C.

You ask yourself, "Did we suddenly dislike each other? No. Did we disagree about something? No. Did we have a communication problem?"

You realize you forgot to return Fred's call last month (a break in communication) so you say, "I'm really sorry I didn't call you back last month." Fred suddenly says, "Yeah! Call me when I leave a message so I don't have to come over there and throw eggs at you, okay?" You both laugh.

As another example, you have been negotiating a contract with Pam and your last offer made her so mad she broke off the meeting and stormed out. Without your knowledge of ARC you might give up on the deal or start using intermediaries.

Instead, you look over the situation and evaluate the ARC. Which point is the most damaged? You realize the R or reality point went bad as no one can agree. How can you repair this break in reality?

You could raise the communication point by trying to call, but that does not seem appropriate. You could send a cheerful greeting card to increase the affinity, but that doesn't sound right either. You want Pam to realize there are more points of agreement than disagreement.

So you fax her a list that describes all the many points of agreement already established along with a request that she calls you when ready to complete the negotiation.

Your telephone rings 10 minutes later. Pam starts the conversation with an apology.

Exercise

1. Are you currently upset with anyone?

2. If so, which of the three points of the ARC triangle do you think is broken? Is it broken because you dislike the person? Because you disagree with the person? Because you failed to communicate with the person?

3. How could you repair the break? What steps could you take?

4. Take those steps today!

5. Repeat the above four steps for other people you may be upset with.

6. Repeat with anyone who may be upset with you.

7. Repeat with anyone in your past with whom you wish to rekindle a relationship.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Learn more about ARC in The Problems of Work available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm and http://www.bridgepub.com.
 


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: Make More Money by Facing the Music

 


Make More Money by Facing the Music

Steve has the golden touch. Everything he does makes money. As an employee at a furniture store, he gets fast promotions and raises. After five years, he is the top manager and makes a deal with the owner to buy the business. He makes several improvements and triples the income. He has no debt, saves money every month and has a lot of fun.

Andy never has any money. He works hard at the same furniture company, but never gets ahead. He can't remember his last raise and is terrified of starting a business. He spends more than he makes, so his debts are steadily increasing. Because he constantly worries about money, he has health problems, as well.

What is the greatest difference between Steve and Andy?

"Man is having trouble with finance? Obviously, he is unwilling to confront* money." -- L. Ron Hubbard

(*Confront has two common definitions: 1) meet face-to-face in hostility or defiance. 2) face up to and deal with a problem. In this article, we are using the second definition.)

To resolve money troubles, you confront or face all aspects of money. To really confront something, you have no resistance, no hesitation and no emotion. You simply face it 100%.

For example, you can probably confront an apple. The apple does not scare you or upset you. You can easily control and enjoy the apple.

However, a credit card bill, a financial disagreement or a problem with taxes may not be as easy for you to face. These areas of low confront actually hurt your ability to have money.

When you face something completely, the area starts to improve. It's amazing how much money you can make when you improve your ability to confront money matters.

Using our example above, Steve is a financial success because he faces all financial problems. For example, he fearlessly sells big packages of office furniture to the toughest customers.

Andy gets so nervous when talking to big-shot customers that he prefers to stay in the store instead of going to customer's offices. If he were willing to confront tough customers, and went to see them despite his fear, he would conquer his fear and earn more money.

Two Steps for Increasing Your Financial Confront

If you are not making as much money as you like, what about money are you not confronting?

Non-confront comes in many forms: fear, avoidance, shyness, laziness, procrastination, terror, pretense, anxiety, stress, worry, upsets, forgetfulness, disorganization, hatred, lies, shame, blame, regret, critical thoughts and excuses. Do you experience any of these forms of non-confront regarding money?

If you are willing to increase your ability to confront money, you will have more of it. All you need to do is:

1. Identify an aspect of money you are not confronting.

2. Confront it: face it, deal with it, take responsibility for it; invest the hard work and persistence required to resolve it.

20 Questions

To help you get started, these questions may help you identify the areas of money you should confront.

1. How much money do you owe?

2. How much loan interest do you pay per month?

3. How much money do you spend per month? On what?

4. How much money do you waste per month?

5. Is your checkbook balanced?

6. Do you avoid preparing tax forms?

7. Are you not paying money you promised to pay?

8. Are you avoiding anyone who owes you money?

9. Are you involved in a financial disagreement?

10. What are you doing with money that you should not be doing? That you should be doing?

11. Do you have a long-term financial plan?

12. What work skills should you improve?

13. How could you produce a better service or product?

14. What about your income are you avoiding?

15. What do you lie about regarding money?

16. What bad habits do you have with money?

17. What scares you about money?

18. What are you putting off?

19. What do you hate about money?

20. What steps would be needed for you to increase your income? Which of these steps seem too difficult for you to face?

Pick one thing you are willing to confront, confront it today and see what happens!


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

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