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TipsForSuccess: How to Conquer Your Fear

 

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How to Conquer Your Fear

If nothing ever scares you, success is easy. You never feel hesitant, shy or nervous. You take action.

However, when you do not act, it is probably because of fear.

Fear is the inability to face someone or something. You prefer to avoid it. When you cannot face an issue, it seems complicated or stressful.

For example, if you cannot talk about money with people, you have money problems. Whenever you need to ask for money or negotiate financial terms, you freeze. As a result, you earn less money.

If you are an employer, but cannot face staff conflicts, production statistics decline. Work becomes serious. Since no one resolves the staff problems, they persist while your business suffers.

Avoiding topics with your spouse is a common reason for marriage problems. Your fears block your communication. Hiding, withholding or suppressing your feelings and thoughts from your spouse is a giant leap toward divorce.

In a book called Science of Survival, L. Ron Hubbard explains how fears are like shadows. If you reach out and take action despite your fears, you will discover how thin and weak the fears really are!

To illustrate this point, he wrote, "On Lake Tanganyika* the natives have a very interesting way of catching fish. There on the equator the sun shines straight down through the clear water. The natives take blocks of wood and string them along a long rope. They stretch this rope between two canoes and with these abreast begin to paddle towards the shoal** water. By the time they have reached the shoals, schools of fish are piled and crowded into the rocks and onto the beach. The blocks of wood on the rope make shadows which go all the way down to the bottom of the lake and the fish, seeing the approach of these shadows and the apparent solid bars which they form in the water, swim fearfully away from them and so are caught." -- L. Ron Hubbard (* Lake Tanganyika is located in east-central Africa ** shoal: shallow)

Four Ways to Shine Light on Your Shadows


1. One effective method is drilling or role playing. You identify a circumstance that gives you fear. You pretend to face the situation in a role-playing exercise. Drilling allows you to discover which parts of the problem are really problems and which are simply shadows.

For example, you need to ask your boss for a raise. Before talking to him you practice the conversation with your friend. You work out some details, change your approach and work out your best possible presentation. Because you are prepared for the meeting, you are not as nervous.

2. Another method of reducing fear is to approach the problem with gradient steps. You cut the problem into smaller pieces. You successfully deal with the small parts and thus reach a full resolution.

For example, you need to fill out a 10-page government tax form. Instead of trying to take on the entire task in one day, you decide to just fill out the first page and then quit.

One page is much easier than ten pages! The next day, you decide to tackle pages two and three.

You continue like this and before you know it, you have completed the form. You have conquered your fear.

3. Talking about the fear can reduce the effects of fear. After you openly discuss it with someone who listens, the problem often feels less difficult.

For example, you are afraid of flying in an airplane. Your spouse agrees to listen to you and you spill your guts. You describe everything about flying that scares you. After a while, you decide you can fly.

L. Ron Hubbard discovered that talking and listening is a powerful form of therapy, when done correctly. He spent years developing an entire system that guides your communication in a counseling session. As a result, you can completely remove your fears. For more information, click the link at the end of this article.

4. In many cases, the best approach to dealing with a fear is to close your eyes and jump in. You face the fear without any regard for your feelings and emotions. You might get nervous or even terrified, but once you take the leap, you discover the big monsters are merely shadows.

Confronting a fear can be tough, but the reward is enormous.

Succeeding, despite a fear, means you have done something you could not do before. And that is real success!

Watch a video about resolving fears and other problems that block your success at
http://lists.bridgepub.com/what-is-dianetics/

 

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. 

  

Copyright © 2012 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

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TipsForSuccess: How to Get People to Support Your Success

 

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How to Get People to Support Your Success

Everything you want in life requires the support or cooperation of individuals. Your success depends on other people. Objects, the economy and governments do not make you successful.

For example, if you invented a better telephone, it would not make you wealthy. Your money would come from the people who bought this telephone.

A business does not succeed because it has a beautiful office space, fancy brochures or a brilliant plan. It succeeds because people buy your product or service. It also succeeds because the staff members do their work.

Human relations, not things, make or break your future success.

So when people ignore you, what is going on? Why do they break their agreements with you? Why won't they help you?

How People Decide to Treat You

"There is an interesting phenomenon* at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One ... actually sets an example of how he should be treated. A is mean to B so B is mean to A. A is friendly to B so B is friendly to A." -- L. Ron Hubbard (* phenomenon = an observable fact.)

If you are honest with people, they are honest with you. If you encourage them, they encourage you. If you give them what they need, they will give you what you need.

On the other hand, if you are blunt with people, they will be blunt with you. If you try to cheat people, they will try to cheat you. If you push them down, they will push you down.

If you list all the bad things people do to you, you might discover you also do these bad things.

For example, you feel upset when Joe ignores you. So you think it over and realize you ignored Joe's question last week. So you corner Joe and answer his question. Joe no longer ignores you.

How this Principle Can Make You Successful

"When one is lucky enough to get to meet and talk to the men and women who are at the top of their professions, one is struck by an observation often made that they are just about the nicest people you ever met. That is one of the reasons they are at the top: they try, most of them, to treat others well."

"Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgivingness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity*?

"It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?" -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Way to Happiness (* integrity = sticking to one's principles.)

If people are not giving you the support you need, do not sit and wish they would treat you better. Instead, ask yourself, "How do I like to be treated?"

For example, insurance salesman John makes 150 telephone calls per day to sell insurance. Even though he leaves hundreds of messages, very few people return his calls. He does not make a living this way.

So he asks himself, "If I was a customer, how would I want to be treated?"

He answers himself, "Well, I hate getting sales calls and never return them myself. I would prefer a personal letter. I'd want the sales guy to take a little interest in me, to care about my real insurance needs and try to save me money. Hey! I'm going to give it a try!"

John finds he enjoys writing personal letters.

"Dear Chris, I thought you'd like a copy of this article about row boats. Also, if you want me to check your car insurance, I might save you some money. Yours, John."

"Hi Pat! It was great seeing you at the soccer game yesterday. I thought you would like this brochure about our new flood insurance. I think we have the best prices. Also, let me know if you change your mind about helping us coach the team."

Before he sends each letter, he asks himself: "Would I want to be treated this way?"

Two months later, John is earning a great income by selling insurance policies.

How to Improve the Way People Treat You

1. Make a list of everyone who influences you. Everyone you depend on. Everyone who can make you successful. Include your boss or employees, customers, coworkers and colleagues.

2. Write down how you want these people to treat you. For example, you want your boss to support your career. You want your spouse to patiently listen to you. You want your clients to honestly consider all of your recommendations.

3. Work out how to do these things first. For example, start giving more support to your boss. Patiently listen to your spouse. Honestly consider everything your clients say to you.

4. Persist until people are treating you the way you are treating them.

Remember, if you want help on your road to success, help other people succeed first.

Give it a try!

 

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. 

  

Copyright © 2011 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.


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TipsForSuccess: How to Produce Anything

 

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How to Produce Anything

No matter what happens with the economy, your success depends on your ability to produce a service, an object or a task that others want. They pay you for this production so you can buy food, shelter and so on. Let's call this service, object or task your product.

The more valuable your product the more money you earn. For example, a successful heart surgery is a product that earns more pay than a cleaned pool. A hand-made mahogany desk is a product that pays more than a painted wall.

But what if you cannot produce a particular product? What if you are a car salesman who cannot sell a car? A lawyer who cannot win any lawsuits? A school teacher whose students cannot apply what you teach?

With the solution in this article, you can produce anything at all . . . if you can produce the smaller products or subproducts.

Subproducts


"Things are produced in a sequence of subproducts which result in a final valuable product." "In other words, by getting many exact minor products, you then can achieve the valuable final product." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, a bricklayer who works for himself has decided his product is: "Completed brick projects that exceed requirements for strength and beauty at a fair price for which I earn a reasonable profit."

What are the subproducts that add up to this product? He needs bricks, customers, a project design, a bid and so on. Below is a list of his ten subproducts.

1. The bricklayer finds a customer who wants a brick project
2. The bricklayer gets a list of requirements from customer
3. The bricklayer works out the costs and design
4. The bricklayer presents the fee and design to the customer
5. The customer approves the design and agrees to pay the fee
6. The bricklayer gets the bricks and mortar
7. The bricklayer builds the project
8. The customer approves the job
9. The bricklayer gets paid
10. The bricklayer pays his costs and ends with a profit

Some products may have less than ten subproducts, such as a great hamburger or a haircut. Others have hundreds of subproducts, such as a legal contract or a website design. Some even have millions of subproducts, such as a jumbo jet.

Five Ways to Use Your Subproduct List


1. You can figure out why you are not making money. Simply check your list to see which step you are skipping. For example, if the bricklayer does not get his customer to approve the design or the fee, the bricklayer may not get paid.

2. You can find out why your products are poor. If you do a bad job with any of the subproducts, the final product will be poor. For example, if the bricklayer does not calculate the costs properly, he may lose money on the job.

3. You can use your subproduct list to establish a routine. For example, if the bricklayer jumps around and does not get each subproduct done in the correct order or sequence, he wastes a lot of time and may not get paid.

4. If you have problems with your job or business, you can review your subproduct list to see which ones are not being done properly. For example, the bricklayer realizes he's going broke because he is not getting his first subproduct, new customers!

5. Using this single concept, you can manage or advise anyone. For example, our bricklayer can use his subproduct list to supervise many bricklayers. He could also become a bricklayer business consultant.

Exercise


1. What is your product? What task, service or object do you produce? What will people pay you for? Write it down.

2. What are the subproducts that lead to this product? Ensure the list is complete and in the correct order or sequence.

3. Are you skipping any of these subproducts? Do any of these subproducts need improvement?

4. Produce your products in higher numbers and quality by getting the subproducts done.

If you are not getting the final product, either your list needs improving or you are not getting the subproducts. Find out which and fix it.

By creating your subproduct list, and getting each subproduct, you will get your final product, every time!

 

 

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. 

  

Copyright © 2011 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.


Subscribe, buy books or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org at www.tipsforsuccess.org

 

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm

  

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org

  

 

 

TipsForSuccess: Communication is a Two-way Street

 

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Communication Is a Two-way Street

"A conversation is the process of alternating outflowing and inflowing communication."

"There is a basic rule here:

"HE WHO WOULD OUTFLOW MUST ALSO INFLOW;

"HE WHO WOULD INFLOW MUST ALSO OUTFLOW.

"When we find this rule overbalanced, in either direction, we discover difficulty.

"A person who is only outflowing communication is actually not communicating at all, in the fullest sense of the word. For in order to communicate entirely, he would have to inflow as well as outflow. A person who is inflowing communication entirely is, again, out of order. For if he would inflow he must then outflow." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Carefully listening is a skill many people never learn. They find it difficult to listen. Yet if you never master this important communication skill, people do not like to talk to you.

You fail to skillfully inflow communication if you have one or more of these bad habits.

Ten Bad Listening Habits


1. Appearing to listen. You nod, you smile, you agree with everything people say. But you don't hear a word. But the game is over when you ask a question about something the person already answered.

2. Resistance. You find ways to change the subject, distract the speaker or forbid discussion of a topic. Resistance simply puts off an inevitable confrontation.

3. Selective hearing. Tuning out or filtering out what you don't want to hear. It takes a lot of practice to filter out certain topics, but some people do it well. For example, a boss gives an order and a suggestion. The employee hears the order but tunes out the suggestion. The employee describes a productivity problem and hints about a raise. The boss focuses on the production problem and never hears the hint.

4. Calculating while listening. Forming an answer. Working out a response. Thinking of ways to escape. You are less interested in what the person has to say than in what you will be saying or doing next.

5. Cutting in. You listen to some of the data, jump to a conclusion and cut the person off. Or maybe you interrupt with a question or abruptly change the subject. If you do this, you not only upset people, you often reach the wrong conclusion. When you cut people off, they feel you do not give a darn about them.

6. Spacing out. Day dreaming, drifting off, thinking of something else. Because you can listen twice as fast as people can speak, you get bored. You make the person feel unimportant.

7. Interpreting everything. You can't take information at face value so you look for hidden meanings."So when you say that you won't help me, are you really saying you don't like me?" "Because you won't buy from me, does that mean you think I'm a crook?" "Are you actually angry but just being polite?"

8. Listening with an attitude. Instead of simply listening, you feel pressed for time or angry or unhappy. Maybe you do not believe the speaker. Regardless, you send body language. The speaker is distracted and fails to say what he or she wants to say.

9. Equating what people say to something else. Examples: A friend talks about his money problems while you think about your own money problems. Your spouse talks about taking a vacation while you think about asking your boss for time off.

10. Story topping. Cutting people off to tell them your better idea or more interesting experience. For example, someone says, "I met the mayor last night . . ." and you jump in and say, "Did I tell you about the time I met the governor?" It's hard for you to ever let others be more important, more knowledgeable or more interesting than you.

One Great Listening Habit


"Happiness is power and power is being able to do what one is doing when one is doing it." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you really want to be a great listener, you sit there and do nothing else except listen. You treat the person's communication as the most important communication you have ever received.

Say to yourself, "Right now, there is not one thing more important than truly understanding this person."

Look at the person with no other thought in mind. Make good eye contact. Get completely focused. Do nothing but listen.

Recommendations


1. Notice how people listen to each other this week. Find three of the bad listening habits and what happens as a result.

2. For all conversations you have this week, give 100% of your attention to the person. Understand what they say exactly. Notice their reactions.

3. To see the difference, consciously use one or more of the bad habits, instead of carefully listening, and notice how people react.

 

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. 

  

Copyright © 2012 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

Sign up or learn more about TipsForSuccess at www.tipsforsuccess.org,

 

 

 

 

TipsForSuccess: Five Tips for Success with Children

 

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Five Tips for Success with Children

1. "It is a remarkable fact, a scientific fact, that the healthiest children come from the happiest mothers." -- L. Ron Hubbard

2. "'My child,' is often the parent's fond manner of alluding to his offspring. But that isn't 'my child.' That is Bobby--a person in his own right." -- L. Ron Hubbard

3. "Children who have received too large a bonus for being children are those who progress the least satisfactorily." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Perhaps you know a young adult who still acts like a kid? If you admire and reward a child too much for being a child, he or she sees no reason to grow up and take responsibility in life. Instead, admire and reward children (and those who act like children) for behaving like adults.

4. "Forbidding children to work and, particularly, forbidding teenagers to make their own way in the world and earn their own money, creates a family difficulty so that it becomes almost impossible to raise a family. And it creates, as well, and particularly, a state of mind in the teenager that 'the world does not want him' and he has already lost his game before he has begun it." "It is highly supportive of this fact that our greatest citizens worked, usually, when they were quite young." -- L. Ron Hubbard

5. "When children become unimportant to a society, that society has forfeited its future." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Raise the priority, in your mind, of the importance of all children. As a parent, give your children the time they need from you every day. If you do not have children, help and support parents to raise their children.

Your future, and the future of our society, depend on it!

 

 

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. 

  

Copyright © 2012 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

Sign up or learn more about TipsForSuccess at www.tipsforsuccess.org,

 

 

 

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