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TipsForSuccess: What to Do when You Feel Outraged

 


What to Do When You Feel Outraged

Getting angry is the correct response in some situations. Yet blowing up and overreacting can ruin your relationships and success.

"WHO STOLE MY PEN!"

"STOP TELLING EVERYONE I HATE WORKING HERE!"

"I HEARD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND AND SO I HATE YOUR GUTS!"

Jumping to the wrong conclusion and getting outraged can seriously damage your success.

"She never called me back so I guess she is rejecting my offer. SHE'S AN IDIOT!! I WON'T EVER WORK WITH HER AGAIN!"

Great Advice for Handling Anger

"Listen and question before you decide you're outraged." -- L. Ron Hubbard


By listening and questioning, you find the correct problem and see a better solution.

"Has anyone seen my pen?"

"Did you tell Joe I hate working here?"

"Did you change your mind?"

"Will you accept my offer?"

By listening and questioning, you learn the truth.

In most cases, you will not feel outraged after you listen and question.

Give it a try!
 


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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Courage

How would you feel if:

You are walking down the sidewalk and a guy walks up to you and demands money.

You are driving down the road and a police officer pulls you over.

You are asked to speak to a large group.

Your boss starts to scream at you.

The neighborhood bully wants to talk to you.

As someone who wants to succeed, you need courage to deal with anything that scares you. You must face your fears head on. You need several types of courage.

The courage to be criticized.

The courage to say "no."

The courage to make decisions.

The courage to tell the truth.

The courage to face the facts.

The courage to be in the minority.

The courage to hold a position.

The courage to admit you are wrong.

The courage to trust others.

The courage to accept responsibility.

The courage to disagree.

The courage to change.

Without courage, success is impossible.

"A person of high courage is a valuable associate and group member, but a coward is a dangerous liability as a friend." -- L. Ron Hubbard
, from Science of Survival

Each time you use more courage, you enjoy several benefits.

You feel calm and peaceful. Difficult problems suddenly disappear. Your confidence soars to new heights.

Managing your business, job or career becomes easier. You feel more energy. You sleep better.

People follow your example. You inspire others to be more courageous. You feel powerful.

Eight Articles to Help You Increase Your Courage

1. You have more courage if you are passionate. To do this, put new fire under your purposes. See "The Power of Passion" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/passion.htm.

2. Make steady, orderly progress. Never give up. See "Orderly Progress = Power" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/orderly-progress.htm.

3. Communicate! You will often find the courage to communicate is all you need to resolve difficult situations. See "When in Doubt, Communicate" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/communicate.htm.

4. Prepare for a confrontation. Write down your plan of action. See "How to Handle Difficult People" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/difficult-people.htm.

5. Lighten up. Your odds of success are much greater if you are less serious. See "Being Too Serious Can Drive You Crazy" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/seriousness.htm.

6. Look at the challenge as an opportunity. Every time you go through a difficulty, you become stronger. See "Fishing Story: The Benefits of a Challenge" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/fish-challenge.htm.

7. Look for yourself. Horses are often terrified of puddles they step in and realize the water is only an inch deep. Once you actually talk to a bully, you find it's not such a big deal. See "Operating with the Truth" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/truth.htm.

8. Be a professional. Assuming a professional attitude includes courage. See "Are You a Professional?" at www.tipsforsuccess.org/professionalism.htm.
 


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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"It's Not My Job!"

According to an Inc. magazine survey, most executives hate hearing this statement: "It's not my job."

The same survey found most employees hate it when they are pulled off to do someone else's job.

For example, the employees of a famous restaurant in Los Angeles are members of a labor union. They dislike doing other people's work so much that their union contract covers this point. "We will not do anyone else's job."

So if someone drops food or dishes on the floor, the food servers, busboys and cooks may not clean up the mess. The restaurant manager must either clean the mess or call in a janitor.

The restaurant owner said, "I was eating with a group of friends to celebrate my wife's birthday when a waiter dropped a bottle of wine. He just looked at the mess and walked away. No one would clean it up because of the union contract. So I got up from my meal, grabbed a mop and cleaned up the wine while the restaurant employees, and my friends, all watched."

Another restaurant has the opposite problem. These employees are not union members and do not have a union contract, but the place is a mad house.

You walk in and see a full restaurant, but no workers. Everyone is off doing something else. The chef comes out of the bathroom, notices you standing there and yells at a busboy to help you. The busboy wipes his hands, grabs two menus and takes you to a messy table. The hostess runs over and helps the busboy clean up while you watch. Your waitress runs by to answer the telephone. Everyone is doing all the jobs.

So which approach is best? "No one may do other people's jobs" or "Everyone should do all the jobs."

Of course, neither approach is correct.

The best way to work this out is with one of two solutions.

First Solution

"Anything in an organization is your job if it lessens the confusion if you do it." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, you work in a doctor's office as a file clerk. You notice the receptionist is scheduling two patients while the telephone is ringing, and three kids are on the floor hitting each other. Would you lessen the confusion by helping? Or would your assistance just increase the confusion?

In this case, it would reduce confusion if you stepped in and helped. Even though you are the file clerk, it IS your job to assist. You get the kids to quiet down and then answer the telephone. The patients schedule their appointments and the receptionist thanks you.

Another example: You work at a newspaper selling ad space. Someone bursts into your office and says, "Three government agents are here and they want all our files! What should we do?"

Do you get the files? Call an attorney? Have a discussion with the government agents?

Because you have nothing to do with the legal branch of the newspaper, it is NOT your job. Taking action would ADD confusion. You wisely say, "Go tell the boss" and you go back to work.

Second Solution

What should staff members do if ordered to do something that would ADD confusion? For example, a restaurant manager asks the chef, "Please stroll around the tables and chat with customers. They'll love it!"

Yet chatting, instead of cooking, would cause confusion, especially in a busy restaurant. The chef knows his job is to lessen, not cause confusion, so he refuses. How can he cook meals if he is strolling around the restaurant?

So what should an employee say to a boss who gives an improper job assignment?

"If an executive asks you to do somebody else's job -- don't. Say, instead, `Am I transferred?'" -- L. Ron Hubbard

So when the restaurant manager asks the chef to stroll around and chat with customers, the chef says, "Am I transferred? Am I now the host?" The restaurant manager, seeing his mistake, says, "No, sorry. You're the chef. Go back to work."

You get your boss to look at the big picture so he or she makes the best decision.

As another example, you are hired to set up computers for an insurance company. You are working under a desk when your boss comes over and says, "When you are done there, please install this alarm system on every door and window in the building." You say, "With all due respect, I need to ask you this. Am I transferred to building maintenance? I'll be happy to wire the alarm system instead of setting up computers, if you like, but I have ten more computers to set up today." The boss realizes the computers are more important and says, "Forget the alarms. I'll make building maintenance do the work."

On the other hand, the boss may wish to transfer you to building maintenance. "Yes, you are transferred." You can then say, "No problem." Or you might say, "I'm open to doing the alarm work and move to the maintenance department, but I would first like to discuss the conditions of this new job."

Summary

You can solve every question about "Whose job is this?" with the first or second solution above.

Whenever you wonder if you should do a job, ask, "Will it reduce confusion if I do it?" or "Am I being transferred to a different job?"

If you are a boss, ask the same questions. "Will it reduce confusion if I get this person to do it?" or "Do I want to transfer this person?"

Your answers will give you the correct decision.
 


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

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How to Be Lucky

Many people are looking for luck. In fact, "luck" is one of the most popular words used in Internet searches.

What most people don't realize is that you can make your own luck. You can control your future.

You just make up your mind.

"We used to talk about 'breaks' in the writing business all the time, you know. And I just haven't had any good breaks lately.

"So I said, 'Well, that's just a matter of making up your mind to have some good breaks.'"

"So I made up my mind to have some good breaks. In the ensuing week I sold a movie and had a heck of a lot of other things happen, all of which were unexpected." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Recommendations

1. Make up your mind that you are going to be lucky from now own. Decide that you will have some good breaks. Everything will be going your way.

2. Write down how you will be lucky this week. What good things are going to happen? Decide you will be lucky and get what you want.

Give it a try!
 


Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

Blog Archive


How to Make Great Decisions

To succeed, you need self-confidence. Luckily, self-confidence is easy to obtain.

"SELF-CONFIDENCE is nothing more than belief in one's ability to decide and in one's decisions." -- L. Ron Hubbar
d

Everyone has made bad decisions: choosing friends who stab you in the back, saying the wrong thing to your spouse, spending your money unwisely. Yet to succeed and have self-confidence, you must make decisions.

When you are afraid of decisions, you build up stress, create confusion and make people wait. When you put off making decisions, you miss important opportunities.

The worst way to make a decision is to go with the majority's choice. Getting people's opinions is like saying, "I don't have any self-confidence. Please tell me what to decide."

The truth is, you can make good decisions.

How?

"Given information and the purpose, anybody can make a decision." -- L. Ron Hubbard


Decision making is like playing cards. If you know the cards each player is holding, you make great decisions and win all the money.

If you have enough information and good purpose, you make the best decisions in life.

15 Questions to Help You Make Big Decisions

You can make all of your own decisions on your own. From starting a business to changing careers, buying a house to choosing a vacation. Any decision is easy to make.

One way to gather the information you need is to list all your main options.

For example, Steve needs a car. He narrows his choices to: 1) buy the $90,000 BMW, 2) buy the $30,000 used Acura, 3) fix up and keep the old Toyota.

As another example, Bob asks Dorothy to marry him. Dorothy looks it over and decides she has four choices: 1) Marry Bob immediately, 2) Marry Bob after a long engagement, 3) Don't marry Bob, but keep dating him, 4) Don't marry Bob and stop dating him.

Once you have listed out your options, find the answers to these 15 questions for each of your options. You will know some of these answers and can find out the others.

Somewhere along the line, your best correct decision will be obvious.

1. What is the goal or purpose of each option?

Steve writes, "1) The purpose of the BMW is to ride in style and luxury while impressing the heck out of my friends. 2) The purpose of the Acura is to have comfortable transportation without big loan payments. 3) The purpose of the Toyota is to have good reliable transportation at a small cost."

Dorothy examines the purpose of each of her options. She writes, "1) The purpose of marrying Bob immediately is to move on with our lives together. 2) The purpose of a long engagement is to leave plenty of room for me to change my mind. 3) The purpose of not marrying, but continuing to date Bob is to learn more about him without a commitment. 4) The purpose of not seeing Bob any longer is to look for someone else. Well, I can eliminate this last option as I'm sick of looking and really do love Bob."

2. How do the purposes of each option align with your goals?

Steve writes, "My goal is to drive something comfortable I can be proud of, but not consume all of my extra money. The Acura fits that goal best."

Dorothy writes, "I have the goal to get married, so the first two options line up with that goal."

3. What are the statistics for each choice? Each of your options has statistics.

Steve can learn maintenance costs, resale value costs, miles per gallon and so on.

Dorothy can check out Bob's statistics in life. How well does he keep his word? How much money does he make? What happened with his past relationships?

When hiring an employee, his or her statistics in life and at the last job are important.

When deciding on a job, a career, a relationship, a new business or anything, you can find the track records.

4. Finances? Two vital questions: What will each option cost? How much money will each return? The cost is not a barrier if the predicted return is greater than the cost.

5. Sequences? Most people forget to look at the exact steps involved with each solution.

"If I decide to buy the BMW, what happens next?" You might realize you need to wait two months before delivery. You also realize you need to get insurance, pay registration fees, sell your Toyota and so on.

When interviewing job applicants, ask "If I asked you to start on Monday, what would you do?" Some applicants say, "Well, I might not have a car. . ." or "My bird has been sick . . ." A smart job applicant says, "I'll show up five minutes early!"

6. Is this choice legal and ethical? Is it fair to everyone involved? Will you be proud of your choice in the future? Would you have any problem telling a judge or TV reporter about your choice?

7. What is the probability of success? For example, how many BMW or Acura buyers are happy enough to buy a similar car? How long will the Toyota last?

Estimate the odds of success for each choice if you have no concrete data.

Dorothy estimates the odds of a successful marriage to Bob are higher with her second option, if she has a long engagement, than the other two remaining options.

8. Do I have the resources? Resources include people, space, skill, knowledge, money and time. Do you have the necessary means for each choice?

9. What are the end results? If everything went smoothly, how would each choice turn out? What would the results be? How would it change things in a year or two?

10. What do others want me to do and why? As your choice probably affects other people, you want to know what choice they want you to make. More importantly, why they want you to make it.

Make a list of everyone who is affected and what you believe they want.

You are not asking them to help with your decision, you are merely gathering information.

11. What are the potential gains and benefits? List each of these categories for each choice.

12. What are the potential losses and liabilities? Worst-case scenarios and risks. For each risk, look at how you can protect yourself or your group.

For example, David is considering a major expansion of his hair brush company. He looks at the risks and realizes he could end with too many hair brushes in storage. To protect his group, he realizes he needs to expand his marketing and sales before increasing his manufacturing to ensure he won't have a storage problem.

Dorothy evaluates the risks of a marriage and realizes a long engagement has a much lower risk of divorce than a fast marriage.

13. What are all the barriers and difficulties for each choice? What gets in the road of each choice. Lack of money? No one else wants it? Not enough time? Fear?

David sees months of hard work to cause the expansion.

Steve sees no difficulties in buying the BMW or Acura, but lists several problems with repairing his old Toyota.

Dorothy realizes Bob might not like the third option of just dating, but would support a long or short engagement.

14. What would be easy and effortless about each choice? Some choices involve no barriers at all.

15. What do I really want? What am I willing to do? What interests me? Which choice turns me on and makes me happiest? Why do I feel like doing it?

This last question is the deal breaker. Interest and enthusiasm are vital to a decision ending up being the right decision.

An okay decision with lots of interest and enthusiasm is more successful than a brilliant decision with no interest or enthusiasm.

You never regret a correct decision. It stands the test of time. A series of correct decisions will build your certainty and confidence. And when others learn you are usually right, they follow your lead without hesitation.
 


Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.