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Two Powerful Rules for Unlimited Happiness
Does someone else decide how happy you are? Is your happiness predetermined and out of your control? Does luck have anything to do with it?
The happiness business is big business: drugs, alcohol, gambling, overeating and other bad habits are based on our need for happiness. Unfortunately, these "solutions" become bigger problems and make us unhappier.
Many people give up on the idea that they can be happy. You hear statements from them like these:
"Anyone who tells you they're happy is lying."
"I'd be happy if I had a better _____ (spouse, job, body, house, income, parent, child, boss, employee)."
"Life stinks and then you die."
Yet because you are reading this article, you know something can be done about it. You know you have the power to make yourself happier.
The truth is, you are the one who controls the amount of joy in your life. And you control it based on how well you follow two rules:
"One: Be able to experience anything.
"Two: Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Rule One
To follow this rule, you become willing for ANYTHING to happen to you. You decide you can face it and experience it.
For example, someone yells at you and you decide you can take it. You don't want people yelling at you, but you will deal with it. You are not afraid of being yelled at.
Because you can experience people yelling at you, you will still be happy whenever it happens.
If you cannot experience something, it makes you unhappy. Like a moth to a light bulb, the bad thing comes your way.
For example, a California fire alarm salesman was terrified of his house catching on fire. He worked out escape plans, installed fire sprinklers and installed the latest fire alarm system. He talked about fire so often that his seven-year-old son became fascinated with matches.
So of course, his son started a fire in the basement. The sprinklers didn't work and the house burned to the ground. Luckily, no one was hurt.
After getting over the shock, the fire alarm salesman started laughing. "Even though I did everything I could think of to prevent fire, I ended up causing a fire with my fear. It turns out it's not as bad as I thought it would be! The house burned and we're okay!"
After that, the idea of his house burning down no longer made him unhappy. He could experience it.
"To be happy, one only must be able to confront, which is to say, experience those things that are." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Anything you cannot experience or confront will make you unhappy. So reversely, learning to face reality is the first rule for being happy.
For example, to do your job you need to give presentations to a group of people. However, you hate speaking to groups. You make up excuses and avoid this part of your job until you get fired.
If instead you face the music and give the talks, despite your fear, you are able to experience. You confront the job and feel happy.
If you can easily experience hard work, stressful work, complicated work or work that most people can't or won't do, you can also earn more money than most people. And you are happy when doing it!
Rule Two
"Two: Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily." -- L. Ron Hubbard
This means you need to pay attention to other people. Everyone experiences things differently.
For example, your colorful language offends your mother, but makes your friend laugh. Spending the day at a shopping mall is a joy for your daughter, but a boring waste of time for your son. Your political views enrage your father-in-law, but inspire your neighbor.
To be happy, you cannot have attitudes like these:
"I say whatever I want to anyone I want."
"If you don't like what I do, that's your problem."
"It's dishonest to not say how I feel."
If you don't care about other people's happiness, the people around you will eventually not care about your happiness either. Everyone becomes unhappy. When you care about people's happiness, you pay attention to what they can experience.
For example, if you punch someone in the mouth during a boxing match, neither of you are bothered. However, if you punch your friend in the mouth during an argument, your friend cannot easily experience the punch and you are both unhappy.
"To create only those effects which others could easily experience gives us a clean new rule of living." -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you follow this rule, your work relationships, marriage and friendships all thrive. If you break this rule, you make enemies.
As another example, you notice what your spouse cannot easily experience your complaining about your work. You realize it does not help you to complain to her. You stop complaining and your spouse seems more cheerful. You feel happier. The rule worked.
Judgement
You may think this second rule means you can't demand good performance from employees or correct your children.
For example, "My employees can't easily experience hard work, so I'll be soft on them."
However, high productivity boosts morale. Laziness ruins production, lowers morale and ruins your company. A bankrupt company is difficult for everyone to experience!
So you learn to demand good performance while being cheerful. Everyone is productive and happy.
Children may not like eating their meals or brushing their teeth, but poor health or tooth pain is much more difficult to experience. You learn to get your kids to do what they should without anger or threats.
When deciding what to do that others can experience easily, use your judgement.
Marriage
These two rules are also rules for a happy marriage. If you learn to experience ANYTHING your spouse does, how can he or she make you unhappy?
For example, you get upset when your spouse leaves a messy bathroom. Instead of steaming about it or blowing up or getting revenge, you learn to experience it. You realize, "Oh heck, it's only a messy bathroom. If I don't like it, I'll clean it up. Big deal."
By learning to easily experience anything your spouse does, he or she no longer can make you unhappy. You are happier.
Additionally, what would happen if you ONLY do or say things your spouse can EASILY experience?
For example, you realize your spouse cannot handle you being late. You think, "What's the big deal? So what if I'm 20 minutes late? It's not the crime of the century!"
But because you want a happy marriage, you decide to do things your spouse can easily experience. You decide to respect your spouse's concern and arrive on time or call, even if you will be a few minutes late. Your spouse is happier, you are happier.
Four Recommendations for a Happier Life
Make four lists to make yourself happier this week.
1. Write down everything that was hard for you to experience last week.
2. Write what you can do to more easily experience these things this week.
3. List out what you did or said last week that others could not easily experience.
4. Write how you can accomplish next week's goals while causing effects that others can easily experience.
Copyright © 2006 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
