TipsForSuccess: January 2007

TipsForSuccess: Money Worries

Who is Stopping You? (Part One)

The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. It's certain people.

Specifically, antisocial people-people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble. They are trying to stop you.

"When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work."

"It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for)

One of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. People thought Hitler was a nice guy, yet he ordered the deaths of millions.

Most antisocial personalities are not famous. In fact, they are rarely obvious.

Antisocial personalities can be anyone: doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues. You probably know a few antisocial people.

When antisocial people are openly nasty or critical of you, you know who they are. They say, "You are an idiot" or "That idea of yours is the worst idea I've ever heard." They stab you in your chest, not your back. You can deal with them directly.

However, the worst types of antisocial persons are those who hide their true intentions. They stab you in the back so you can't catch them. They say, "Everyone thinks your ideas are silly" or "I heard a rumor the police might be investigating you" or "You look so tired; why don't you take a vacation?"

Antisocials make you ill. For example, you are enjoying your day and getting a lot done. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, you feel a little upset. Your stomach and head hurt.

So you review who just talked to you. Mary gave you a report and made a nice comment about the weather. Fred asked to borrow your pen and was very polite. The computer guy needed to look at your computer and said something about no one liking the computer software you bought.

You think, "What was the computer guy talking about? Why did he waste so much of my time? And why are the computers always having problems? I'd better watch out for this guy."

Suddenly, you feel better. You have spotted an antisocial person. Your day is pleasant again.

L. Ron Hubbard identified several characteristics of the antisocial person. The first way to spot them is to notice how they speak.

Generalities

"The antisocial personality has the following attributes:

"1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .' 'Everybody thinks . . .' 'Everyone knows . . .' and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We're all having troubles because of the economy," "People don't like anyone who's too successful" or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities.

Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . " or "All the citizens feel . . . " or "The employees think . . . ," you must perk up your ears. You have just heard the beginning of a generality.

Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. "Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!" "No one was late today." "All the carpenters appreciate the wood you bought."

However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at your back. "No one believes your little act." "Everyone thinks the pay is too low." "No one wears their hair like that any more."

One reason the news media is such a poor influence on society is because of their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. "America was shocked and saddened . . ." "Sources revealed that . . ." "Critics wonder why . . ."

How to Respond

"When asked, 'Who is everybody . . .' it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Example:

You: "Nancy, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?"

Nancy: "Oh, uh, well, you know, everyone I talk to. It's common knowledge."

You: "Can you tell me who exactly?"

Nancy: "I don't know, I can't remember. I'll ask around."

You: "Okay, but if no one really said it, you need to stop saying things like that to me."

Social Personality

While the antisocials are tearing down the world, the world social personalities are improving it. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Fortunately, most people are social personalities.

Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality. For example, they are specific.

"The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. 'Joe Jones said . . . ' 'The Star Newspaper reported . . . ' and gives sources of data where important or possible.

"He may use the generality of 'they' or 'people' but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples of social personality statements: "Patty and Joan want raises." "Everyone's happy you're back from vacation." "Steve loved your speech."

Even if the social personality is passing bad news, it is not upsetting. For example, "Kelly and Roger have decided to move to Los Angeles to help their son produce documentaries."

Recommendation

Every time you hear a generality regarding bad news this week, reject the information. Assume the person is either careless or antisocial. Instead, ask "Who is everybody?" or "Who exactly?"

Learn more at www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH11_1.HTM

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

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Fw: TipsForSuccess: How to Get Tougher

Money Worries

How do you solve money problems?

1. Worry

2. Hope

3. Cheat or steal

4. Wait for someone to give you money

5. Whine and complain

6. Hope even more

Of course, none of these solutions help you gain more money.

An abundance of money is your only solution.

"I answer money problems with lots of money, not with worry or sadness or impractical hope." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You solve your money problems by making money. No other solution is as reliable.

Six Examples

1. You are trying to sleep, but you can't stop worrying about your money problems.

So you get out of bed and write a plan on how to make more money. You spend three hours figuring out exactly what you must do, step by step. You even work out several deadlines. You are confident your plan will work and can't wait to start on it in the morning. You jump back into bed and fall asleep.

2. You play the lottery every day and hope you will win. It's your only plan for getting rich. You decide to take more action.

You search the Internet for "How to Win the Lottery" and find dozens of opinions. You suddenly realize the lottery is for fools.

Your mind suddenly feels clearer. You decide to determine your own future. You believe the best way to increase your income is to make yourself into a more valuable worker. You use your lottery ticket money to pay for a night class.

3. You really like helping the elderly and work as an assistant manager job in a rest home. A friend takes you to lunch to tell you about his idea. "With your connections, we can get these people to pay $500 for fake funeral insurance. They'll never know it's a con because they'll be dead!"

You want more money, but believe you have the ability to earn money, not steal it. You say, "Not for me. I don't want anything to do with it. Don't ask me again."

You then think of a plan to help the residents with their finances so no one can steal from them. The idea grows to include financial management for these people's taxes, investments and insurance. You and your boss form a partnership with you in charge of the program.

4. Your paycheck does not cover your bills. You have been waiting for your boss to give you a raise for months. But business is slow and he says he can't afford your raise.

You decide to not wait for your boss and you start a home business designing web pages. You study and work six hours per day and most of your weekends. You earn a reputation as a brilliant web designer. Your home-business income exceeds your paycheck and you quit your job.

5. For the past few weeks, you've been calling your friends and saying, "I work so hard, but make so little." "I just can't find the right job." "No one appreciates me. Life is so unfair!"

It gets harder and harder to find anyone who will listen to you. You wonder, "Maybe they don't like to hear me whine?"

You decide to knock off the self-pity, sadness and complaining. "That's it! I will not be a victim. I will never whine again!"

You start to ask successful people how they make money. You realize you can be just as smart, hard-working and courageous as they are. You get busy doing some of the same things.

6. You hope you will strike it rich. You believe you just need to chant it to yourself enough and it will become true. Every hour, you close your eyes and tell yourself, "I will become rich. I will become rich. I will become rich." You even sleep while listening to a recording of yourself saying, "I will become rich. I will become rich. I will become rich."

Yet despite your strong thoughts, you realize you are becoming poorer. You decide to take action.

You examine every way you have earned money in the past: washing cars, delivering furniture, organizing garages, restoring antique cars. You select the method you used to earn the most money which is restoring antique cars. You get to work.

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TipsForSuccess: How to Be Liked and Admired

How to Get Tougher

"How many times in your life have you decided: 'Well let's see, I couldn't handle so and so. I guess I'd better handle just a little bit less.' And then the first thing you knew you couldn't even handle that.

"What if you had said, 'All right. Now let's see. I don't seem to be able to do this. Well, where's two of them?'

"I recommend it to you very thoroughly. You can't handle something, you say. Find a couple of tougher ones.

"The point is that you go in reverse." -- L. Ron Hubbard

When you think you can't handle something, take on two problems. Make the challenge bigger!

Five Examples

1. You don't have enough money this month to pay your apartment rent. At first, you decide to move to a cheaper place. But then you reverse your idea.

Your neighbor also can't pay the rent. You decide to solve both problems. You meet with your neighbor and help him figure out how he can pay his rent. Bang! You suddenly see how to increase your income well above the amount you need for your rent.

2. It's hard for you to drive a car with a manual transmission (stick shifter and clutch pedal). You've always driven an automatic, but need to drive a stick-shift car for your job. But every time you try to drive it, you grind the gears or shift to the wrong gear and stall the car. You decide to get a bigger problem.

You ask your truck-driver friend to show you how to drive a big truck with 18 gears. You learn how to shift, how to use the clutch and accelerator together, and how to control the speed with the gears. You soon have fun driving a 10-foot high truck. Of course, when you return to the manual-transmission car at work, it's very easy to drive.

3. You just got divorced and feel horrible. You can't stop crying. You consider taking drugs, seeing a shrink or worse. But then you decide to take on a bigger challenge.

You find two people who cry whenever you bring up their divorces. You help them get over their grief with fun activities. Immediately afterwards, you feel great!

4. Your new t-shirt business is dying. Even though you have a great location in a shopping mall, you can't get enough customers to come in. All of your new marketing ideas have failed.

You are losing money and can't pay your rent. You talk to a lawyer about going bankrupt.

But then you decide to get tough. You walk through the mall and find a hat shop that also has no customers. The owner is also thinking about quitting, so you make a deal to take over the hat shop.

Now, you have to get customers into TWO stores.

Now that you have more to risk, you stop reinventing the wheel. Instead of trying more new ideas, you visit three of the most successful t-shirt or hat shops in town to observe how they attract customers.

You copy these proven ideas and customers start to show up. Soon, both of your stores are making a profit. You are on the road to business success.

5. You need to lose weight, but you just can't stop eating junk food. You can't seem to turn off the TV and go exercise. You look around for some tougher problems.

You notice your chubby spouse and plump daughter are also sitting on the couch, eating junk food. You jump up and say, "We're all getting healthy, starting right now!"

You turn off the TV and make everyone go for a walk. You get them to eat more vegetables and less sugar. You convince them to change bad habits into good habits.

Over the next several months, you stay in charge of all three bodies. Everyone loses weight and becomes healthy. You feel tough!

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How to Be Liked and Admired

To be successful, people need to like you. If people dislike you, you fail.

So how do you get people to like you?

Pretending to be someone you are not is a bad solution.

For example, Joe pretends to be from England and talks with a British accent. He thinks it will help him get a girlfriend. Jane meets Joe and thinks he's interesting because he's from England. But when Jane finds out Joe has never been to England, she can't trust Joe and no longer likes him.

Getting people to like you by bowing down and kissing their feet is also a bad solution.

For example, on Jill's first day on the job, she tells her boss, "Even though I've just met you, I can tell you're absolutely amazing! I've never worked for a wonderful boss like you." Her boss hates flattery and instantly dislikes her.

Trying to make people like you usually makes them like you less. But doing the opposite, actually works!

"DON'T DESIRE TO BE LIKED OR ADMIRED. Don't give a darn, because if you start giving a darn you won't be liked or admired." -- L. Ron Hubbard

The Solution

"The only way, really, to be liked or admired is to not care if you are liked or admired but to act most any way you please. And you'll be surprised at how many people will like and admire you." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Give it a try!

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

FW: TipsForSuccess: Who is Stopping You?

TipsForSuccess: Money Worries

Fw: TipsForSuccess: How to Get Tougher

TipsForSuccess: How to Be Liked and Admired

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