TipsForSuccess: 2010

TipsForSuccess: Why You Should Give More Than You Receive

TipsForSuccess.org

Why You Should Give More Than You Receive

Life is not fair.

Perhaps you give more gifts and holiday cheer than anyone gives to you. You may give great advice, but never get thanked for it. Maybe you donate more than your fair share to those who are less fortunate than you.

And that's a good thing!

"A human being feels able and competent only so long as he is permitted to contribute as much or more than he has contributed to him." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, you promise to work five extra hours for your client, Joe. During those hours, you are focused, efficient and professional. You get so involved with the job, you forget to watch the clock and end up working for almost six hours, but still only charge for five. Joe is impressed and you are proud. Your future with Joe feels secure.

As another example, you tell Chris, "You poor thing! You don't need to work. We'll just give you money each month." At first, Chris thinks this is a great deal. But soon, she wonders, "Am I so useless that no one wants me to work? Can't I make a contribution here?" She feels unable and incompetent. If you then get Chris to do some work for the money, she feels happy and secure.

As a final example, you encourage your children to contribute to the family. Your four-year old sweeps the floors each day. Your ten-year-old takes care of the pets. Your fifteen-year-old washes your car every week. Your family is happy as everyone feels able and competent.

"A man can over-contribute and feel secure in an environment. He feels insecure the moment he under-contributes, which is to say, gives less than he receives. If you don't believe this, recall a time when everyone else brought something to the party but you didn't. How did you feel? -- L. Ron Hubbard

Recommendation

Give a bit more to others than they give to you. Contribute excessive time, gifts, money or other forms of help to good causes or good people. Do not expect an extra exchange.

Continue to over-contribute whenever you can. Instead of having a fair exchange with others, arrange for an abundant exchange, with you always giving more than you receive.

As a result, you will feel more able, more competent and more secure. All three are important ingredients to your success!

Happy Holidays!

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TipsForSuccess: Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed

Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed

"You are treating yourself in present time much as you were treated by others in the past. And you punish yourself far more than anyone would ever punish you." -- L. Ron Hubbard

How have people treated you in the past?

Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way?

Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success.

False Ideas

At some point, you may have accepted the following ideas to be true.

"If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!"

"I respect Joe's opinion. Joe thinks I'm an idiot. So I must be an idiot."

"If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone."

Of course, all ideas like these are nonsense.

True Ideas

To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself.

"Actually you are a giant tied down with cotton lint. You tied the knots and furnished the string and said where you'd lie." "The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Three Tips for Improving Your Opinion about Yourself

1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems.

For example, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I'm such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I'm taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don't mess up again. Great idea!"

2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion.

For example, "I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I'm eating more vegetables these days. I haven't gotten angry at my kids for a month. I'm earning more money this year. I'm helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . ."

3. If you want to permanently improve your opinion of yourself, you need to go deeper. The solution lies below your conscious level. "Dianetics: The Evolution of a Science" explains how you can find and erase the roots of your irrational thoughts.

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TipsForSuccess: Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?

Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?

People who feel they failed as parents often share a common regret: "I did not show my kids my love often enough."

On the other hand, no one ever regrets giving their children too much affection.

"Affection could no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Giving a child an unlimited supply of toys and presents makes it difficult for a child to return a real exchange.

But giving a child an unlimited supply of love and affection is something a child can happily return to you . . . in abundance.

This advice applies to marriages as well. Showing a large amount lot of affection might put your spouse into a happy state of shock, but he or she will not be spoiled by it.

Go try it!

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TipsForSuccess: Complicated Problems

Complicated Problems

"THE DEGREE OF COMPLEXITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF NONCONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you can't face something, it gets complicated. It scares you, confuses you, upsets you. Your inability to confront the problem makes it complex.

For example, Pete wants a girlfriend, but every time he talks to a woman, he looks at his feet, sweats and stammers. He is terrified of women. His nonconfront is a big problem. Simply chatting with a female seems very confusing to Pete.

So he decides to face his fear of talking to women. He starts talking to any female he can. He talks to his sister, an older woman in a store, the librarian, a few of his female coworkers and his friend's wife.

Sooner or later Pete realizes women are just people and not out to hurt him. He enjoys chatting and laughing with them. Finding a girlfriend seems much easier to Pete.

"THE DEGREE OF SIMPLICITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF CONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard

People who can take on complicated subjects are not afraid of them. For example, your roof leaks. To you, it's complicated: Which shingle should I remove? How do you remove shingles? Where do you buy new shingles?

But to a professional roofer, the problem is simple. You watch him fix the roof. He pulls a few nails, digs out the bad shingles and installs the new ones. You confronted the process and it now looks simple.

How to Take Apart Problems

"To take apart a problem requires only to establish what one could not or would not confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard

All you need to do is figure out exactly what you cannot confront and you slice apart the problem.

For example, you want to start a t-shirt business. But instead of swimming in the confusion, or hiring someone to confront it for you, you ask yourself this question:

"What about this problem is difficult for me to face? What can't I confront about it?" You write down five things you can't confront.

1. Signing a long-term store space lease is scary.

2. T-shirt manufacturers seem like mean people.

3. What if the banker laughs at my loan application?

4. I'm afraid I'll hire bad employees.

5. My advertising ideas might make me look stupid.

Just making the list makes you feel better. Starting a business appears less chaotic. Then, you confront each individual item on your list.

You ask dozens of questions about leasing store space. You use a dictionary to figure out every paragraph of the lease. You understand the lease and happily sign it.

Next, you meet with a few t-shirt manufacturers. You discover they are very nice people.

You meet with a banker. You interview a few potential employees. You find out the kind of advertising you need to attract customers.

After facing all five items on your list, you realize it's not hard to make a t-shirt business succeed!

Recommendations

What are the problems you face on your road to success? What seems too complicated?

Take each problem apart by establishing what you can't confront. Write down everything that makes you afraid, anxious or angry. Everything about the problem that is difficult for you to face.

Then confront each piece. Get in there and deal with it. Persist until you can comfortably face each part of the confusion.

If a piece of the puzzle seems too big or complex, break it down as well.

Eventually, through courage, you solve the complexity.

Success, and life itself, becomes simple!

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FW: TipsForSuccess: Hate

Hate

Have you ever hated someone without knowing why? For example, you hate someone you just met, for no reason. Or you hate someone because of their gender, their hair color, their political views or their age. Why?

Perhaps before you hated that type of person, you tried to help someone like him or her.

For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?"

You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise."

Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."

You suddenly feel a little hatred for Jill. Her comment is deeply insulting.

"If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You tried to help someone and you failed. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind of help you offered. Maybe the person did not realize you had good intentions, at the time.

It's a rotten, upsetting feeling to try to help someone . . . and fail.

How to Resolve This Hatred

"Pick a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron Hubbard

So instead of ignoring the person or getting angry, talk about the subject of "help."

Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on. Once you get started, your hatred will dissolve. You will understand the person or people similar to this person.

Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion

1. Do you like getting help?

2. Do you like helping others?

3. How do you feel about me helping you?

4. How do you feel about helping me?

5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't?

6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't?

7. Do you wish you could help more people?

8. Do you wish more people could help you?

9. In the future, how can I help you?

10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?

"Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Give it a try! You will be delighted and amazed. You may even do some good for this world.

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TipsForSuccess: Five Management Rules

Five Rules for Successful Staff Management

If you manage people, or wish to manage people, you must know the rules for solving staff problems. For example, "How should I treat Jenny when she gives me the silent treatment?" "What should I do about this conflict between Steve and Pete?" "How should I respond when people want favors from me?"

If you are not yet a manager of people, you soon will be one, IF you follow these rules whenever you can.

An article by L. Ron Hubbard called "How to Fill Jobs" outlines seventeen rules. Here are five of those rules.

1. Do not expect to improve your status or popularity with your staff members by giving them raises. You improve your status by doing your job and actively leading your group.

For example, one of your employees says, "Come on Boss, I really need that raise. I have to pay my rent and am desperate. I would consider it a personal favor and will be very, very happy if you give me the raise. Okay?"

You say, "Sorry Jed. No raise. Maybe if you improve your productivity for a few months we can discuss it. Let's get to work on that project as we're already behind."

2. People will work very hard IF you have them do the work they agreed to do when they were hired.

For example, your computer system crashes and 5000 records need to be entered by your data-entry staff before they can do their normal data-entry work. Because they were hired to do data entry, you say, "I know this will be hard, but you people need to get these 5000 records entered by the end of the day, even if you need to work all night. And then by the end of tomorrow, you need to catch up your regular work, as well."

The data-entry staff grumble a bit, but soon they are working harder than ever. They laugh about having pizza for dinner and decide they can finish by 7 pm.

3. Pay attention to your staff's work. Make regular comments about their performance.

For instance, you say, "Good job on getting those 5000 records entered by 7 pm!"

4. Do not play favorites or a form clique (a small, exclusive group).

For instance, someone says, "Boss, a few of us want to buy you lunch."

You say, "Great! Let's bring the whole team."

5. Demand excellent work standards.

For example, one of your staff says, "I'm mailing these statements even though they are a little crooked. The copier messed up, but you can still read them."

You say, "Throw them away and do it right. We're professionals, okay?"

L. Ron Hubbard summarizes with this advice: "If you do all these fairly well, you'll really make it. You only have to be 51% right all the time to win. Just make sure the 49% loses don't include anything important." -- L. Ron Hubbard

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TipsForSuccess: The Power of Passion

The Power of Passion

Improving this single attitude makes your days fly by. You wake up excited to work. You make the right decisions. You get more done in less time.

Improving this attitude affects everyone around you. They believe in you, trust you and want to support you.

This one attitude can change your entire life for the better.

Your Passion

On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you right now? Do you really, truly want to succeed? Are you thrilled with your goals for today? Is your passion at 8, 9 or 10?

If not, you must learn to generate more passion for your work, your career and your life.

Leadership

To succeed you must be a leader, if only a leader of one person: you.

"In all great leaders there is a purpose and intensity which is unmistakable." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Have you noticed how the best speeches of politicians, ministers or actors always include high-volume intensity? Their passion is unmistakable! You also see this in the most successful people you know.

Fortunately, you can generate all the passion you need to succeed.

You have the ability to motivate yourself; to concentrate on your purpose; to get yourself excited about what you do.

Your attitude sets the mood for everyone around you. They get excited if you are excited. For example, recommendations you give to others that come from your heart have a much bigger impact than recommendations you give with no passion behind them.

"A man who merely wants to be liked will never be a leader. A broad examination of history shows clearly that men follow those they respect. Respect is a recognition of inspiration, purpose and competence and personal force or power." -- L. Ron Hubbard

There is nothing stronger than a leader with a firm direction and passion to get there.

Your Purpose

When you organize all of your energy, your resources and your activities toward one focused goal, you not only feel more joy in what you are doing, you get more accomplished.

To do this, you need to follow a purpose. What makes you passionate? For example, for which of these objectives can you generate the most passion and intensity?

* Reaching a specific goal

* Accomplishing a certain level of perfection

* Earning the money to buy something you really need or want

* Going back to an original purpose

* Beating a challenge

* Filling your life with as much happiness as possible

* Fulfilling a duty to yourself or your family

* Helping a great number of people

* Creating a superior reputation

* Building a highly-successful business

* Helping others achieve success

* Becoming the best at what you do

* Hitting a specific production target

* Making a positive impact on society

Once you select a purpose or game for which you can be passionate, go for it! Get intense! Use it to help you generate personal force and power.

Use your purpose to overwhelm all obstacles and barriers. Stay focused on your end results. Never doubt your ability to win the game.

Create all the passion you need to succeed.

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TipsForSuccess: How to Be More Popular

Five Ways to Be More Popular

Many people believe the route to success is to be interesting--to show off or act like someone else.

For example, many teenagers can't understand why they are unpopular. They learned as children that to get attention they should act up a little; to be cute or interesting. Yet later on as teens, they find acting interesting does not make them popular.

To handle their unpopularity, these teenagers might despise people or become loners. Or they get involved in smoking, drinking, shoplifting, drugs, sex, guns and so on.

Acting interesting can ruin your adult life as well. Show-off employees, self-centered managers and pompous business owners rarely succeed. Why not?

Because the secret to popularity is not to be interesting, but to be interested!

"When a person becomes terribly interesting he has lots of problems, believe me. That is the chasm which is crossed by all of your celebrities, anybody who is foolish enough to become famous. He crosses over from being interested in life to being interesting. And people who are interesting are really no longer interested in life. It's very baffling to some young fellow why he can't make some beautiful girl interested in him. Well, she is not interested, she is interesting." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you are an actor, you must be interesting while you are acting. It's part of the job. Seminar speakers must be interesting to keep the attention of their audiences. The best comedians, models and magicians are interesting, even fascinating.

Yet in real life, if you try to be interesting and only do things to get attention and admiration, people will get tired of you. You only feel good if people approve of you. You are not very helpful.

When your attention is more on others than on yourself, you feel less stress. You act and respond with more intelligence. When you are interested, you are extroverted and effective.

Examples

In each example, who do you think is most popular?

1. While on a date, Chris talks about his expensive car, his karate trophies and all his money.

Jim, on the other hand, compliments his date and asks about her family, her hobbies and her interests.

2. At your cousin's wedding, Aunt Maggie tells everyone how her wedding had 500 guests, a live band and 100 doves.

Aunt Judy is thrilled to see her nieces and nephews and learns all about their school accomplishments.

3. Jill and Toni both want the office manager job at an office supply store. Jill tells the boss about how great she is with people, with computers and with employees.

Toni asks questions about the last office manager, the office's problems and what the boss needs and wants from the office manager.

4. You tell Jacob and Tom, "I just found out that my business is finally making a profit. I'm so relieved!"

Tom asks, "Wow! How the heck did you do it?"

Jacob says, "Did I tell you about my first business? It was profitable the first week and . . . "

Five Ways to Be More Popular

To get people to support you, to like you, to open up to you, you must be interested in them.

1. Practice shifting your attention from yourself onto other people. Force yourself to observe them and understand them. You might be surprised at what you see!

2. Discover things about people that interest you. "What is interesting about Joe? What else is interesting about Joe?" Make a new habit of automatically getting interested in each person you see.

3. If you catch yourself acting like someone else, showing off or topping people's stories, you are being interesting. If instead you get interested, you will feel more natural, more like yourself. The fact is, you are most effective when you are simply being yourself.

4. When people make you nervous or shy, get interested in them. Take your attention off of yourself and put it on to them. With practice, this will make you calm, even bold.

5. Focus on how you can help the person in front of you. Replace your tendency to act interesting with a purpose to help. Your effectiveness and popularity will soar!

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

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TipsForSuccess: The Best Revenge

The Best Revenge

Do you want to hurt someone because he or she hurt you? Do you need to get even? Are you seeking revenge?

You might think the best revenge is to destroy your enemies. Make them regret ever messing with you. Prove you are more powerful.

For example, Peter and his wife Samantha owned the best restaurant in town. Yet when Peter caught Samantha having an affair, he not only asked for a divorce, he decided to get even. He made sure they fought over every tiny detail of the divorce for three years. In the end, their lawyers had new Mercedes; Peter and Samantha had nothing.

Fighting an enemy can take over your life and cost you enormous amounts of money and time. For example, you get into a car accident, hurt your back and sue the automobile company for an unsafe design. You then spend years proving you are a victim and suffering, when instead, you should be working on your success.

Some people think the best way to get revenge is with violence. They throw a rock, punch a nose or start a war. Yet if you use violence for revenge, you hurt innocent people. You destroy lives. You might even end in up in jail.

So what is the best way to get revenge?

"Sometimes others seek to crush one down, to make nothing out of one’s hopes and dreams, one’s future and one, himself.

"By ridicule and many other means, another who is evil-intentioned toward one can try to bring about one’s decline.

"It is sometimes necessary to handle such directly. But there is a long range handling that seldom fails.

"The real handling of such a situation and such people, the real way to defeat them is to flourish and prosper.

"Oh, yes, it is true that such people, seeing one improve his lot*, can become frantic and attack all the harder. The thing to do is handle them if one must but don’t give up flourishing and prospering for that is what such people want you to do.

If you flourish and prosper more and more, such people go into apathy** about it; they can give it up completely.

"And that is my wish for you: flourish and prosper!" -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Way to Happiness (*lot: one’s destiny or condition in life) (**apathy: complete failure, no feeling, no emotion)

10 Benefits of Getting Revenge by Flourishing and Prospering

1. You feel powerful, not like a victim.

2. Your enemy gives up.

3. Your personal image is improved.

4. You do not waste your time or money in a fight you might lose.

5. You are more motivated to be successful.

6. Bad guys cannot pull you down to their level of evil.

7. Once you defeat your enemies by succeeding, they do not try again. Of course, if they try again, you simply flourish and prosper more than ever!

8. Potential enemies see how you succeed, despite others' opposition, and don't even try.

9. Thanks to an enemy, you end up with more money, more control and more power.

10. You are much, much happier.

Learn more about "The Way to Happiness" at www.twth.org.

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

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TipsForSuccess: Eight Tips for Success

Eight Tips for Success

As you know, the TipsForSuccess articles are based on quotes by L. Ron Hubbard. The following ten quotes from L. Ron Hubbard can be used in many ways to help you increase your income, reduce your stress and make progress toward your goals.

After you read each quote, ask yourself, "How can I use this idea to be more successful?

1. "A man* is as dead as he can't communicate. He is as alive as he can communicate." (*man: a member of mankind; men, women and children)

2. "Man's greatest weapon is his reason*." (*reason: logical, rational thought; intelligence)

3. "A sane man has difficulty in insane surroundings."

4. "The surest way to get nowhere in life is to be serious about it!"

5. "The goal is to win. When one has lost too much and too many times, the possibility of winning seems too remote to try."

6. "Successes are little bits of living. Failures are little bits of death."

7. "Be your own advisor, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions."

8. "There is no person alive who cannot make a new beginning."

Lear more about L. Ron Hubbard at www.lronhubbardprofile.org, www.ronthephilosopher.org and http://adventurer.lronhubbard.org.

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TipsForSuccess: How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 3)

How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 3 of 3)

As you may remember in Parts 1 and 2 of "How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life," you increase your power and success by assuming responsibility.

Believing, Knowing, Willing

Taking responsibility for something does not necessarily mean you have to do anything. Just change your attitude about the situation.

"To be responsible for something one does not actually have to care for it or reach it or be it. One only needs to believe or know that he has the ability to care for it, reach it or be it." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Bob owned a large copy machine sales and service company. Sales had been in a slump for several weeks. He couldn't get his sales team to sell machines no matter what he tried.

He learned this application of responsibility and decided to step up to the plate. He told his sales people, "If you guys don't sell some copiers within the next three hours, I'll do it myself." Until then, Bob had not been willing to do any sales. But when he said he would go sell copiers himself, he really meant it.

Three hours later, Bob grabbed some prospect sheets and headed for his car to go make some sales. Before he made it outside, two salesmen called the office to arrange delivery for new copiers. Bob smiled and went back to his work. Three other sales came in by the end of the day, which meant they sold more machines that afternoon than in the previous month. Bob knew his willingness made the difference.

Responsibility can seem to work like magic at times.

1. You have a problem,

2. You assume full responsibility for it

3. The problem solves.

For example, you are not getting paid at work because the sales guys are stuck. You decide to be responsible for the entire income of the organization and start to promote the company. The income starts to roll in and you get paid.

Your new car will not start and you are late for work. You get mad at the seller and demand that he come right now and fix it. He says he will, but never shows. You decide to take responsibility for the car and call a tow truck. Before you can make the call, you figure out how to start it and drive to work.

Jim, and his wife Jill, fight and argue every day. They call each other names and make threats. Jill decides to take responsibility for their marriage. She will apologize and listen while Jim vents his anger. Yet before she gets the chance, he suddenly feels better and apologizes. She never lets them fight again.

Summary

Avoiding problems, blaming others or explaining away difficulties gets you nowhere. Every individual who fails in life can give you dozens of explanations or people to blame. Yet they are still failing.

You now know the secret. Luckily, taking responsibility is easy to do.

Improving your ability and willingness to accept full responsibility makes working, managing and living much easier. You feel calmer and in better control. You have a distinct edge in the game.

You are in the driver's seat of life!

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

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TipsForSuccess: How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 2)

How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 2 of 3)

No matter how often you blame others, no matter how convincing your arguments, and no matter how many people agree with you, blame does not boost your productivity, increase your income or make you happier.

"Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Accepting full responsibility makes you successful. You can solve your own problems. You sit in the driver's seat of life.

Taking Responsibility is Easy

"We can define responsibility as the concept of being able to care for, to reach or to be."

"It includes guard it, help it, like it, be interested in it, etc."

"It is willingness to own or act or use or be." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Responsible People

Responsible people look at how they cause things. They care for people around them. They do not withdraw from difficulties, but reach out to solve them.

They can imagine how it is to be other people. They guard friendships and defend the people they work with and for. They like people and enjoy helping them.

They are naturally interested in others. They never say, "That's not my problem," but will own any problem and say, "Maybe I can help." They act and use their abilities to the advantage of all.

Based on the definition of responsibility, you can create a list of questions to ask yourself. You can use your answers as a guide toward fuller responsibility.

For example, you are having a problem with someone at work. You can ask yourself these questions.

1. CAUSE IT: How have I caused this problem with this person?

2. CARE FOR IT: What aspect of this problem can I care for?

3. REACH IT: Instead of withdrawing from it, how can I reach toward it?

4. BE IT: What would I do if I were this difficult person?

5. GUARD IT: Is there some way I can guard this person?

6. HELP IT: Is there something I can do to help this person?

7. LIKE IT: What can I do to like him or her?

8. INTERESTED IN IT: What can I do to become more interested in this person?

9. OWN IT: How can I own the problem?

10. ACT WITH IT: Can I act with this person?

11. USE IT: How can I use the problem to my benefit?

Examples

These examples show how irresponsible and responsible people deal with problems.

Not Responsible: "Hey! That guy sold me a bad car. He ripped me off! It won't even start!"

Responsible: "How did I cause this? Maybe if I'd gotten a mechanic to check it before I bought it. I should have been suspicious because the price was so low. Learned a good lesson here."

Not Responsible: "That woman I called was so mad at me I just can't work any longer. I'll just quit for today and wait to make these calls until tomorrow when I'll be feeling better."

Responsible: "How did I cause that woman to get mad? I guess I did nothing! She was angry before I called. How can I care for her? Well, she really was not mad at me, I think she's just acting out a personal problem. I should take some interest in her ask how she is next time. I'm ready to work now."

Not Responsible: "I'm not making much money these days selling houses. Maybe if all the other real estate people would quit, I would sell more houses. I think I'll tell everyone how slow business is. I need to convince them how difficult the real estate business is."

Responsible: "How can I care for this competition situation? Maybe if I reach out to know the other agents in the area instead of withdrawing from them, I would do better. I should learn to like them. Actually now that I think of it, we have hundreds of houses and thousands of customers to work with. There really is no competition."

Not Responsible: "The power is out again! Stupid power company."

Responsible: "How can I be it? What would it be like if I was in charge of the power company. I imagine they get a lot of nasty calls." "How can I use this problem? Actually, this would be a good time to get some exercise."

Not Responsible: "Most of my employees are lazy bums."

Responsible: "How much do I like them? I guess they are trying to do a good job and I like them for that. I think I'll help motivate them with a bonus plan."

Recommendations

Everyone can be more responsible. Taking full responsibility leads to fewer difficulties and greater success. Luckily, it's easy to do!

Try this approach:

1. Write down a problem, any problem at all.

2. Ask yourself the 11 questions above until you see how you solve the problem by taking more responsibility.

3. Repeat on other problems. Try it with any barriers that are in the way of you reaching your goals.

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