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TipsForSuccess: How to Form a Relationship with Anyone

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How to Form a Relationship with Anyone

You can only succeed with the help, interest and support of others, and this requires the ability to form business and personal relationships.

A powerful tool you can use to break the ice and form new relationships comes from the book, The Problems of Work:

"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You can use this simple two-part system to talk to anyone!

For example, you want to form a relationship with a neighbor. Where do you start?

1. Find something to like about the neighbor. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking boots. This step is done. You don't have to say anything unless you feel like it.

2. Discuss something with which he can agree.
You have to ask some questions to determine this. What has he been doing lately? How's his family? What do they do for fun?

For example, he talks about a fantastic vacation he and his family just enjoyed in Florida. You love Florida, too. You discuss and agree on Florida's fun spots.

As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish a relationship with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her. You like her red-leather briefcase.

So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. You then find something with which she can agree.

"Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find you both agree that Chicago weather is too cold. You then find other things of which you both agree.

A car salesman is very successful because he knows how to use this technique. He establishes relationships within seconds of meeting people. People in elevators, workers in restaurants, clerks in stores, even people on sidewalks. He instantly finds something he likes about each person and then finds something the other person can agree on. He never lacks new customers. Everyone likes being around him.

Forming relationships is priceless when climbing the ladder to success. You establish valuable contacts wherever you can. Parties, work, church, business events, conventions, anywhere.

Simply walk up to someone, find something you like about the person, then discover and discuss a point of agreement. Just keep asking questions. "What do you like best about these meetings?" "What is your opinion about _____(the meeting topic)_____?" "What business are you in?"

You can use these two steps to form relationships with anyone. For example, you get on a train and sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with hamburger breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his shirt. You feel better about the fellow and start to find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?"

Before long, you actually enjoy the relationship.

Copyright © 2006 All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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