|
Get Whatever You Want with ARC Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC) "The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard Affinity: how well you like or love a person Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 1 Part 3: How to Use ARC to Form New Relationships Wouldn't it be great if you could become fast friends with nearly everyone you met? If you could make people like you right away? If you could earn the support from everyone you wished to have support from? For example, you could get strangers to agree with you within a few minutes. You could get the leaders in your field to listen to you and give you whatever you needed. You could earn respect from your coworkers, staff, colleagues, friends and family. You can do all of these things with ARC. You start by using communication. Simply follow two steps: "The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work) For example, you want to form a business relationship with a business owner. You invite him to lunch. Where do you start? 1. Find something you like about the owner. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking shoes. You have some affinity for him. This step is done. 2. Discuss something with which he can agree. He mentions that he hates the hot weather outside. You say, "I can't stand the heat either, but my wife loves it." He says, "My wife likes it too. Something is wrong with them." You both laugh. You can also ask questions to find something with which to agree. What has he been doing lately? How is his business going? What does he like about his field? What does he do for fun? Does he have any children? Maybe you learn he loves to play tennis, has trouble with a government regulation and worries about his father's health. You also have trouble with the same government regulation and so you discuss it. Your ARC with the business owner goes up. As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish ARC with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her, perhaps her red-leather briefcase. So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. Your affinity is established. You then find something with which she can agree. "Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find points of agreement. You have ARC and perhaps a new business relationship. If you are single and want to meet someone new, these two steps are great for breaking the ice with the opposite sex, even if you feel shy. For example, you notice someone you want to meet in a bookstore. He or she is looking at magazines. You do the first step and find something you like, such as this person's hair, shoes and voice. You suddenly feel less shy. You then find something with which you can agree. "I need a good magazines. Which ones do you like best?" "I see you like gardening magazines. Me too. Have you seen this one?" You can use this formula to form relationships with people who are difficult for you to understand. Say you get on that airplane for a long flight to Chicago and are assigned to sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with McDonalds Big Mac breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his t-shirt. You feel a little better about the fellow. You find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?" "What do you like to do after school?" "That is quite a tattoo you have." Before long, you have enough ARC with this teenager to enjoy sitting next to him for the flight. Recommendations 1. List all the people or types of people with whom you want to form a relationship. 2. Work out a way to use the two steps with each of them: "The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work) Give it a try! The Problems of Work is available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm and www.bridgepub.com. Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
