TipsForSuccess: Stop the Confusion!

Stop the Confusion! You cannot succeed if you are confused. Your education, skills and experience are made useless by confusion. Every failure you have ever had included some confusion. For example, you want to earn more money. So you take a computer class and learn to use some basic software. You gain the education to earn more pay, but because you are confused about how to get a better job, you do nothing. As another example, you want to raise your teenage boy to be happy and successful. One day, you find strange pills and marijuana in his room. You want to punish him, but you hate how your parents punished you. So you become confused and ineffective. Confusion makes you stop and worry. It spins you around and stops your progress. It makes you feel stupid. If your boss says, "You're fired!" or your spouse says, "I want a divorce," the confusion can wipe you out for weeks. Confusion makes you give up on your goals. You agree to accept the limitations and barriers of life. You stop trying to get ahead. You settle for less. Fortunately, you can eliminate confusions. Confusion and the Stable Datum In Chapter Two of his book The Problems of Work, L. Ron Hubbard shows how you can erase confusions by simply grasping one part of the confusion. "The switchboard operator receiving ten calls at once solves the confusion by labeling, correctly or incorrectly, one call as the first call to receive her attention. The confusion of ten calls all at once becomes less confusing the moment she singles out one call to be answered." "Until one selects one datum*, one factor*, one particular* in a confusion of particles, the confusion continues. The one thing selected and used becomes the stable datum for the remainder." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Datum: one fact or piece of information. Factor: element or ingredient. Particular: a single thing; separate and distinct) Example: After a year at your first job at Tom's Car Repair Shop, Tom retires, the shop goes out of business. When you hear the news, you feel confused as you've never had another job. Your head spins with too many thoughts. You sit at home and worry. So you select one thing as your stable datum: "I am a great mechanic. I can fix anything." You suddenly relax. Your head stops spinning. "I'm a GREAT MECHANIC!" Because you no longer feel confused, but feel confident, you get a great job fixing airplanes at United Airlines. As another example, Jill's parents send her to college. They want her to become a doctor, but she leaves medical school to become a party planner. Her parents are furious with her. They yell at her over the telephone and then refuse to talk to her. Because her parents had never been this angry, Jill becomes very confused. She cannot think about her parents, school, party planning or her future without getting confused. At first, she gives up on everything and stays in bed all day. But then she selects a stable datum: "I'm sure that deep down, my parents still love me despite our disagreement." She no longer feels confused and knows what to do. She sends her parents a nice e-mail about the weather and includes a picture of her pet cat. Her father writes back, thanks her for the message and tells her they are sorry and will support whatever career she pursues. No matter what confusion is blocking your success, the "Confusion and Stable Datum" technique can clear your mind and help you take positive action. Try These Three Easy Steps You can use this technique in many ways. For example, you can resolve a confusion by deciding on your next action: 1. Write down a problem, situation or project that is on your mind. It can be anything that is difficult, disorganized or confusing. 2. Write down the result you wish to accomplish. What is the optimum conclusion? If everything goes well, what will happen with this problem, situation or project? What would make you feel you resolved the problem or completed the project? 3. Finally, write down the NEXT PHYSICAL ACTION STEP you need to take. This is your stable datum. What can you do? What act will move you closer to the optimum condition? If you had nothing else to do besides work on this project, what single thing would you do? "Schedule a meeting" is too vague. Instead, be specific. Examples: "Tell Jack to find the Smith file." "Watch the training video." "Buy a box of folders." "Make ten calls by noon." "Clean out the closet." "Train Nancy to answer the telephone politely." Selecting a specific action puts you in charge. You feel some control of the situation. You don't even need to do the action; just working it out gives you a stable datum and blows off the confusion. For example, your finances are a mess. You do not know how much money you have or whom you owe. Your bills do not get paid on time. You are so worried and confused, you avoid the problem. You take one minute and write down the following: "1. Situation: My finances are a confused mess." "2. Objective: Organize my finances so I pay my bills properly." "3. Action Step: Before doing anything else, go to the bank and open a new checking account." Suddenly, your head clears up. You no longer worry about the big confusion; you just focus on opening a new bank account. You select a stable datum and stop the confusion. Any action step can act as the stable datum: "Buy a calculator." "Put all my bills in one folder." "Cut up my credit cards." The action step does not even need to be the BEST action step to erase the confusion; any action step or any stable datum is fine. You have correctly selected a stable datum when you no longer feel confused. Benefits * Working out a stable datum for the confusion helps you organize your thoughts. * As soon as you have time to work on the project, you have a starting point. You can focus on one specific act, not a big cloudy mess. * You feel less stress and more confidence. * You feel motivated and energized to take action. * You become smarter; you make better decisions. * You are one step closer to your goals and ultimate success. So what confusions are stopping your success? Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

TipsForSuccess: Get Anything You Want with ARC, Part 5

The Ultimate People Skill Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC) "The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard Affinity: how well you like or love a person Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real Communication: your exchange of information and ideas Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication To read Parts 1 to 4 in this series, click here. Part 5: ARC at Work Your job is good or bad depending on the level of ARC at your work place. When the workers and management have a high level of ARC for each other, the job is a joy. The group feels like a team, accomplishes a great deal and expands. Yet when the people in a group dislike each other, disagree with each other or do not communicate well, you have high stress, low productivity and poor morale. If you like your job, you have good ARC with at least some of the people there. You talk about the work all day which means you have good communication, you more or less agree on work issues which means you have a shared reality about the work, and you feel friendly toward these people meaning (affinity). On the other hand, you might have weak ARC with a few of these people if you rarely talk, disagree on certain things and do not particularly like each other. You might even have an enemy at work: you automatically disagree with the person, refuse to talk to the person and feel hatred toward the person. If your ARC is low with too many people, you will not enjoy working there. Fortunately, you can increase your ARC for any group of which you are part. "If one really communicates and communicates well to these people -- listens to what they have to say and acknowledges what they say and says what he has to say to them, gently enough and often enough that it is actually received by them -- he will regain, to a very marked degree, his ability to associate and coordinate the actions of those people with whom he is immediately surrounded. "Here we have ARC immediately adjusted to work." -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Problems of Work Five simple steps: 1. Listen to the people at your work 2. Acknowledge what you hear 3. Say what you have to say 4. Be gentle about it 5. Persist For example, if you show up, ignore everyone and just work, you will have problems. You will not understand what your coworkers or bosses are doing. You will not be given new responsibilities nor more pay. You will feel alone and unhappy. Yet if you listen, acknowledge, talk, be gentle and persist, your ARC will then begin to rise. You will see people agreeing with you and you will find yourself agreeing with them. You will feel good about what you are doing as you have more affinity for the people and the work. For example, Stan has been a loner since he started his new job last month. During the lunch break, he eats alone while the other workers talk about the job and share jokes. After a while, no one notices him. He doesn't like being ignored, but is too shy to break the ice. He hates his job. After learning about ARC, he decides to give it a try. He simply stands near a group, listens to someone talk about their weekend of camping and says, "That sounds like fun." Later that day, he hears someone explain how they do a task and he says, "Interesting. I think I'll try that." Each day, he listens and acknowledges more conversations. He starts saying a few things of his own. Because he raises the C corner of the triangle, the other two points rise as well (covered in Part 1 and Part 2 on this subject). His ARC with the group rises each day. Soon, he feels part of the group. When you have ARC at work, you feel more cheerful, think better and make better decisions. You enjoy your work, have pride in your accomplishments and make a difference in the success of the company. You rise to the top! Recommendations 1. Listen to twice as many people at work this week. 2. Acknowledge what everyone has to say. Make sure they know you heard them. Ignore no one. 3. Say what you have to say more often to more people. 4. Be gentle in your communications. Avoid being forceful, demanding or angry. 5. Persist with the above four steps until you feel you are part of a great team, coordinate more smoothly with others and have more enjoyment.   Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

FW: TipsForSuccess: The First Step to Gaining Respect

The First Step to Gaining Respect A bad personal impression gives a message that is not always accurate. For example, bad breath gives the impression that you are dirty. Poor eye contact gives an impression that you are not interested. Crooked teeth give the impression that you are stupid. "Cleanliness and neatness are the primary building blocks to respect in most societies." -- L. Ron Hubbard To succeed, you need respect. Personal impressions are important in this society. A bad impression can hurt your chances of success. People may dislike being around you. You make them uncomfortable. They distrust you somehow. A good personal impression makes your job easier. It opens the door to good relationships. It gives you a chance to show your skills and value. Job applicants with a good personal image have a significant advantage over those with a poor image. Sales people often win or lose because of their image. Getting a date or finding a spouse depends a great deal on your image. A good personal image helps make people listen to you, believe in you and like being with you. It shows you are a professional. Everyone can improve their personal image. It's an easy, but important step on your road to success. 25 Ways to Improve Your Image 1. Have no smells. Use an effective unscented deodorant. Avoid perfume and cologne. 2. Wear clean clothing with no stains. Ensure the clothing fits well and looks professional. 3. Females should avoid heavy cosmetics or inappropriate clothing. 4. Ensure your fingernails are clean, smooth and well shaped. 5. Pluck hair that sticks out of your ears or nose, between eyebrows, out of moles or other odd places. 6. Look healthy: no red eyes, sniffles or coughing. 7. Brush your teeth frequently. Ensure you have clean-smelling breath. 8. Keep your hair clean and natural-looking. 9. Wear nothing extraordinary: psychedelic ties, long fingernails, nose jewelry, tattoos, hats, big rings. 10. Stand when first meeting someone, no matter who they are. 11. Walk with good posture; stand tall, lift your chin. 12. Sit straight. 13. Make good eye contact while listening and talking. 14. Automatically smile at everyone, friends and strangers. 15. Shake hands or pat shoulders with each person you meet. 16. Use dry, warm hands for handshaking. 17. Allow a comfortable amount of space between you and others. 18. Laugh easily; it makes people relax and makes your face glow. 19. Watch your humor. Avoid jokes about race, disability, sex and so on. Tell jokes about yourself or share funny stories that anyone would enjoy. 20. Appear relaxed, yet energized. 21. Use good manners. Say "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" at all times to everyone, regardless of whom you think they are. 22. Use good language. Bad/good examples: "c'mere/come here," "ain't/isn't," "yeah/yes," "nah/no." 23. Acknowledge everyone, ignore no one. 24. Say "goodbye" to everyone as you or they leave. 25. Be proud. "Pride is the primary reason for good appearance." -- L. Ron Hubbard   Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

TipsForSuccess: How to Be a True Friend to the World

How to Be a True Friend to the World Who has the power to be your greatest enemy? Bad bosses or bad employees? Rotten neighbors? Terrorists? Unfriendly drivers on the freeway? Actually, none of them. Your greatest potential enemy is you. No one can ruin your life like you can. No one can pull the plug on your career as effectively as you. No one can wreck your marriage like you. When you criticize yourself or hate yourself, you become your own worst enemy. In a book called "Self Analysis," L. Ron Hubbard writes, "Probably the most neglected friend you have is you. And yet every man, before he can be a true friend to the world, must first become a friend to himself." When you have a high opinion of yourself, you are less afraid. You have confidence. You can make progress. As a good friend to yourself, you stop doubting yourself. You like yourself. You expect you will succeed. When times get tough, you can rely on yourself. When the whole world seems to oppose you, you will have at least one supporter. Even when your body stops working, you will still have a loyal friend with you. To become a true friend to yourself, first set a goal to become your own best friend. With your goal in mind, you can then change a few attitudes. For example, if you beat yourself up for something you did wrong in the past, knock it off. You did what you thought was right at the time. Forgive yourself, decide to never do it again and move on. If you criticize yourself, maybe someone made you believe these criticisms. Stop agreeing with this person. At least be fair to yourself. For every critical thought you have about yourself, balance the scales with a positive thought. Why not compliment yourself from time to time? Be kind to yourself. Buy yourself a gift. Pat yourself on the back. If you don't like yourself, you may not have many friends. How can you expect people to like you if you don't like you? Yet as soon you are a true friend to yourself, you will find it easy to have many friendships and become a true friend to the world. Copyright © 2007 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.