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The Ultimate People Skill
Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC)
"The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication To read Parts 1 to 4 in this series, click here.
Part 5: ARC at Work
Your job is good or bad depending on the level of ARC at your work place. When the workers and management have a high level of ARC for each other, the job is a joy. The group feels like a team, accomplishes a great deal and expands. Yet when the people in a group dislike each other, disagree with each other or do not communicate well, you have high stress, low productivity and poor morale.
If you like your job, you have good ARC with at least some of the people there. You talk about the work all day which means you have good communication, you more or less agree on work issues which means you have a shared reality about the work, and you feel friendly toward these people meaning (affinity).
On the other hand, you might have weak ARC with a few of these people if you rarely talk, disagree on certain things and do not particularly like each other. You might even have an enemy at work: you automatically disagree with the person, refuse to talk to the person and feel hatred toward the person.
If your ARC is low with too many people, you will not enjoy working there. Fortunately, you can increase your ARC for any group of which you are part.
"If one really communicates and communicates well to these people -- listens to what they have to say and acknowledges what they say and says what he has to say to them, gently enough and often enough that it is actually received by them -- he will regain, to a very marked degree, his ability to associate and coordinate the actions of those people with whom he is immediately surrounded.
"Here we have ARC immediately adjusted to work." -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Problems of Work
Five simple steps:
1. Listen to the people at your work
2. Acknowledge what you hear
3. Say what you have to say
4. Be gentle about it
5. Persist
For example, if you show up, ignore everyone and just work, you will have problems. You will not understand what your coworkers or bosses are doing. You will not be given new responsibilities nor more pay. You will feel alone and unhappy.
Yet if you listen, acknowledge, talk, be gentle and persist, your ARC will then begin to rise. You will see people agreeing with you and you will find yourself agreeing with them. You will feel good about what you are doing as you have more affinity for the people and the work.
For example, Stan has been a loner since he started his new job last month. During the lunch break, he eats alone while the other workers talk about the job and share jokes. After a while, no one notices him. He doesn't like being ignored, but is too shy to break the ice. He hates his job.
After learning about ARC, he decides to give it a try. He simply stands near a group, listens to someone talk about their weekend of camping and says, "That sounds like fun." Later that day, he hears someone explain how they do a task and he says, "Interesting. I think I'll try that."
Each day, he listens and acknowledges more conversations. He starts saying a few things of his own. Because he raises the C corner of the triangle, the other two points rise as well (covered in Part 1 and Part 2 on this subject). His ARC with the group rises each day. Soon, he feels part of the group.
When you have ARC at work, you feel more cheerful, think better and make better decisions. You enjoy your work, have pride in your accomplishments and make a difference in the success of the company. You rise to the top!
Recommendations
1. Listen to twice as many people at work this week.
2. Acknowledge what everyone has to say. Make sure they know you heard them. Ignore no one.
3. Say what you have to say more often to more people.
4. Be gentle in your communications. Avoid being forceful, demanding or angry.
5. Persist with the above four steps until you feel you are part of a great team, coordinate more smoothly with others and have more enjoyment.
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