Have No Fear
If you were afraid of nothing, what goals would you set? What could you accomplish? What would you do if nothing scared you or made you nervous?
Fear stops success. For example, a woman who wants to get married, but she is afraid of men. So she does not get married. Or she marries someone who is wrong for her, just because he does not scare her.
If you want to run a business, you will fail if you are afraid of making big decisions. If you want to be a doctor, you cannot be afraid of sick people. If you want to succeed as an athlete, you cannot be afraid of hard, painful practice.
Fear of anything can ruin your success: fear of rejection, fear of being excluded, fear of anger, fear of paperwork, fear of speaking to groups, fear of stating the truth, fear of asking for money, fear of responsibility, fear of being attacked, fear of looking stupid, fear of pain, fear of displeasing someone and more.
With no fear in your life, what could you accomplish?
The Only Way to Remove a Fear Is to Face the Fear
"Definition: Fear is a state of imperception*; fear is an unwillingness to confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard (imperception = not perceiving; no awareness)
When something scares you, you cannot perceive it very well. Your awareness is reduced. You do not look at it.
To dissolve a fear, you must face it, confront it, experience it, perceive it, look it in the eye. Until you do this, the fear persists.
If you let a fear control you, you will avoid it, ignore it, alter it or run away from it.
For example, Bob is terrified of speaking in public. His boss says, "I'd like to promote you to the head of sales. You will need to give workshops to the sales team each week."
Bob has five options:
Avoid it: "I don't need a promotion."
Ignore it: "I'll think about it."
Alter it: "The sales manager should not give workshops."
Run away from it: "I'm taking a two-month vacation."
Face it: "I'll get my wife to practice the workshop with me until I'm ready. It may take 10-15 hours, but I'll do it!"
Only the last option dissolves Bob's fear. It makes Bob happier. He is more successful as a sales manager."
What scares you? Which of these five options do you use to deal with it?
Afraid to Offend
Nancy is afraid of offending people. Because of her fear, she cannot reach her goal to be a manager. Instead, she is stuck in a low-paying, boring, computer typing job.
Sometimes, Nancy ignores conflicts. For example, a worker in the next cubicle plays loud music. Nancy gets some earplugs.
Sometimes Nancy alters the problem. For example, Nancy returns to her desk to see a co-worker looking in her drawers. The co-worker says, "I'm looking for a pen." Nancy later notices $20 is missing. She alters what she knows has happened and says, "I must have left the cash at home."
So Nancy decides to change her life and face her fears. She walks over to the next cubicle, looks directly at the worker and says, "Please turn down the music." The worker is stunned and turns off the radio. Nancy then goes to the other co-worker and says, "I'm missing $20 that was in my desk before you went through it. Do you have it?" The co-worker says, "Oh, yes, I meant to ask, can I could borrow it?" Nancy says, "Sorry, I need it today" and gets her $20 back.
Nancy feels great! She decides to go face her boss and ask for the management training she has always wanted.
You can do the same with any of your own fears. You might think facing a fear will make the situation worse. You might think that facing the fear might even kill you.
Yet letting fears control you is not a very fun life.
Each time you face a fear, it gets easier. If you continue to confront the fear, the feeling eventually disappears.
Write down one of your fears. Go try to confront it. Continue until you face it completely.
When you look fear in the face, you gain strength, courage and confidence.
"To be happy, one only must be able to confront, which is to say, experience those things that are." -- L. Ron Hubbard
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