Who Trusts You?
To succeed, you must gain a reputation as someone who can be trusted. You need to be someone who can be relied upon. You need this strong building block in all your relationships.
Whenever someone believes you will do something, they trust you. They count on you. They assume you will keep your promises.
If you fail to do as you agreed, you lose that trust. You make problems for the people who trust you. You hurt your chances for success.
For example, you tell your friend Martha, "If you let me use your truck, I'll bring it back on Monday, perfectly clean, and with a full tank of gas." Your friend agrees. If you bring the truck back on Wednesday, dirty and almost out of gas, Martha can no longer trust you. She may no longer wish to be your friend.
"Mutual trust is the firmest building block in human relationships. Without it, the whole structure comes down."
"Trustworthiness is a highly esteemed commodity. When one has it, one is considered valuable. When one has lost it, one may be considered worthless." -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Way to Happiness
Getting others to trust you takes work. Seven Ways to Become More Trustworthy
1. Keep all of your promises.
For example, if you are a furniture maker and promise to deliver a new desk on Friday, make sure you show up with the desk on Friday. If you have to work day and night to build the desk, you do it.
As another example, you agree to drive your boss to the airport in the morning. That morning, you get ready and have plenty of time to pick up your boss. But your car won't start. Instead of calling your boss with the excuse, you make it go right. You borrow a car, rent a car or hire a taxi. You pick up your boss, as promised.
2. As well as keeping your big promises, keep your small promises as well.
For example, attorney Jeb promises to write a contract that will keep you out of a lawsuit. He says he'll call you in the morning to discuss it. However, Jeb forgets to call for two days. You then wonder, "If he can't keep his word about calling, maybe he can't keep his word about writing a good contract."
3. Be careful what you promise. Give accurate statements.
For example, you know you can write three reports tonight, and maybe two others, as well. Do not say, "I'll write five reports tonight." Instead say, "I'll get three reports done and hope to write two more, as well."
Before you sign any written agreement, read it carefully to ensure you can do what it says. For example you say, "Before I sign this, I want to change paragraph 12 to give me an extra week, just in case I have a problem with the weather or other matters."
4. If you realize you will not be able to keep your word, no matter what you try, tell the person immediately.
Examples: "Shelly, I said I'd take you to dinner tomorrow night, but I may have to cancel." "Boss, you wanted the wall painted by Sunday, but I need an extension until next Wednesday." "If you can give me one more day to fix your car, I'll take off 5% for the delay."
5. If you lose your trust with someone, do not avoid the issue. Restore your reputation by doing all you can to earn back the person's trust.
For example, you agree to pay Jill $1000 on Monday. You forget until Tuesday and realize you do not have the $1000. Instead of avoiding Jill, you call her. "Jill, I am so very sorry I didn't pay you on Monday. I should have called you. I will have the money on Friday. I hope that by paying you on Friday, I'll regain your trust." Of course, you then do whatever it takes to pay her on Friday.
6. If you have destroyed your reputation by breaking your word and not being trustworthy, make up the damage.
For example, "Fred, I know I have let you down. I agreed to fix your computer last month and I did not. I didn't call and truly regret what I did. I would like to fix your computer for free, if you'll let me."
Another example, "Martha, I can't tell you how sorry I am that I didn't return your truck on time or with gas in it. Even worse, it was dirty. How can I make it up to you? Will you let me wash it and fill it with gas this afternoon? I'd also like to replace the burnt bulb in the tail light, okay?"
7. If someone has lost your trust, help him or her earn it back.
For example, "You want me to hire you again after what happened last time? To be honest, I can't trust you, but am willing to reconsider. If you take this class and pass it 100% by the end of the month, I'll hire you on a temporary basis for one week. If you fail me one more time, I'll never reconsider hiring you again. I'm willing to help you succeed, but only if you are trustworthy."
Seven Benefits of Being More Trustworthy
Fortunately, the benefits of earning trust are well worth the effort it takes.
1. When you make big promises and people will not hesitate to believe you.
2. You earn important support from people in positions of power.
3. The people who trust you will recommend you to others. Your circle of contacts increases.
4. Because people trust you, they feel comfortable with you and will confide in you.
5. If you find you cannot deliver what you promise right away, people are more understanding with you.
6. When new opportunities pop up, people tell you about them.
7. Because you know you keep your word, you have more confidence and pride in yourself.
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