How to Take More Control, Part Four If You Try to Control People or Things Outside Your Sphere of Operation, You Get Problems
"However, control in itself is not an entire answer to everything, for if it were one would have to be able to control everything, not only in his own job, but in an office or on earth, before he could be happy."
"When an individual attempts to extend control far beyond his active interest in a job or in life he encounters difficulty."
"Thus there is obviously another factor involved than control. This factor is willingness not to control and is fully as important as control itself." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, when the manager of Department A tries to control employees in Department B, problems come up. As long as he sticks to controlling his sphere of operation, which is Department A, all is well.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed when you tried to control something that was not really your responsibility? If it is not your responsibility, why bother?
For example, a business owner was overwhelmed and stressed out. His consultant, who knew this technology on control, had him list all the things he was concerned about.
● Business income was down
● The roof was leaking in the office building
● His son was having problems at college in another state
● His community club meetings were irregular
● His quarterly tax payments were late
The business owner was trying to fix all of these problems without success.
The consultant pointed out that the first problem was the ONLY ONE within in his sphere of operation. All the other problems were outside his zone.
The landlord was in charge of the roof.
The son was twenty years old and now on his own.
He was not in charge of community club. He was the president last year, but no longer. He was just a member.
His accountant was negotiating a deal with the Internal Revenue Service and didn't feel the client needed to pay the overdue tax.
While it would be wonderful if the business owner could control all of these problems, he needed to change his mind and let others control them.
As soon as he realized this, he relaxed. He focused on his first problem, the income, and soon solved it.
Meanwhile, the landlord installed the new roof.
His son realized he was responsible for his own success, good or bad, and started doing better in college.
He decided to stop attending the community club meetings.
His accountant solved the IRS problem. What to Do When Others Try to Give You Their Problems People may try to make you control things outside your zone of operation. You must refuse. Three examples:
Someone asks you for a loan to pay his bills. You say, "I'm sorry you can't pay your bills, but I'm not going to pay them for you. You need to earn the money yourself."
Your sister sees your grandson watching television and tells you, "Don't let him watch TV." You say, "I agree he shouldn't watch TV, but he's my daughter's son, not mine."
Your boss asks you to go fix the sales problem with another department. You say, "Even though I'm the domestic sales manager, I'll be happy to fix the international sales department . . . if you promote me to Vice President of Worldwide Sales." 1. Make a list of areas in your life that are difficult for you to control.
2. Add a list of things that bother you to the first list.
3. Circle all the items that are outside your sphere of operation.
4. Decide to stop trying to control these circled items. Let them go.
5. Work on the remaining items on your list as you can control them.
For example, a coworker slurps his coffee each morning. It drives you crazy! You drop hints and make jokes, but he still slurps away.
You realize the coworker's noise is outside your sphere of operation and so you stop all efforts to make him stop slurping. You focus on your job instead. You soon realize you don't care about the slurping noise any longer. No more stress!
"How to Take More Control" parts 1, 2 and 3 can be found at www.tipsforsuccesscoaching.org. |
