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How to Have More Courage
If you were afraid of nothing, how would your life improve?
Fear stops success. For example, a man who wants to get married, but is afraid of women, will probably not get married. His fear stops him from reaching his goal.
If you want to run a big company, you will fail if you are afraid of making big decisions. If you want to be a successful doctor, you cannot be afraid of sick people. If you want to succeed as an athlete, you cannot be afraid of hard, painful practice.
All types of fears can ruin your success: fear of angry people, fear of selling, fear of paperwork, fear of speaking to groups, fear of stating the truth, fear of asking for money, fear of responsibility, fear of flying, fear of looking stupid, fear of displeasing someone and more.
If you were afraid of nothing, what goals would you set? What could you accomplish?
The Best Way to Remove a Fear Is to Face the Fear
"Definition: Fear is a state of imperception*; fear is an unwillingness to confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard (imperception = not perceiving; no awareness)
When you fear something, you cannot perceive it very well. Your awareness is reduced. You do not look at it.
To dissolve a fear, you must face it, confront it, experience it, perceive it and look it in the eye. Until you do this, the fear persists.
If you let a fear control you, you will avoid it, ignore it, alter it or run away from it.
For example, Bob is terrified that his son is homosexual. Bob's friend comes up to him and says, "So Bob, I hear your son is gay. Is that true?"
Bob has five options:
Avoid it: "My son? Oh, he's moving to New York."
Ignore it: "So how are your kids doing?"
Alter it: "No, he just dresses well."
Run away from it: "Oops! Look at the time! I've got to go. Bye."
Face it: "Yes, my son is gay."
Only the last option dissolves Bob's fear. It makes Bob happier than the other options. He can also be more successful as a father.
Which of these five options do you use to deal with your fears?
Nancy
Nancy is afraid of offending people. Because of her fear, she cannot reach her goal to be a manager. Instead, she is stuck in a low-paying, boring, computer typing job.
Sometimes, Nancy ignores conflicts. For example, a worker in the next cubicle plays loud music. Nancy gets some earplugs.
Sometimes Nancy alters the problem. For example, Nancy returns to her desk to see a co-worker looking in her drawers. The co-worker says, "I'm looking for a pen." Nancy later notices $20 is missing. She alters what she knows has happened and says, "I must have left the cash at home."
So Nancy decides to change her life and face her fears. She walks over to the next cubicle, looks directly at the worker and says, "Please turn down the music." The worker is stunned and turns off the radio. Nancy then goes to the other co-worker and says, "I'm missing $20 that was in my desk before you went through it. Do you have it?" The co-worker says, "Oh, yes, I meant to ask, can I could borrow it?" Nancy says, "Sorry, I need it today" and gets her $20 back.
Nancy feels happier than she has in years. She decides to go face her boss and ask for the management training she has always wanted.
You can do the same with any of your own fears. You might think facing a fear will make the situation worse. You might think that facing the fear might even kill you.
But is living as a coward really a life?
Recommendation
When you look fear in the face, you gain strength, courage and confidence. You stop being a coward and start succeeding.
Each time you face a fear, it gets easier. You continue to confront the fear and it eventually disappears.
When you face a fear, and act despite the fear, you have courage.
Confronting your fears not only makes you more successful, it makes you happier.
"To be happy, one only must be able to confront, which is to say, experience those things that are." -- L. Ron Hubbard
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