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A Powerful Communication Technique
Why do you like talking to some people more than others? Do some people seem to understand you better than others?
Do you wish people felt more comfortable talking to you? Would you like people to confide in you more often?
If so, you'll like this simple, yet powerful, communication technique.
After someone tells you something, what should you do next? How do you let the person know you heard what he or she said?
"Acknowledgment: Something said or done to inform another that his statement or action has been noted, understood and received. 'Very good,' 'Okay,' and other such phrases are intended to inform another who has spoken or acted that his statement or action has been accepted."
"Acknowledgment itself does not necessarily imply an approval or disapproval or any other thing beyond the knowledge that an action or statement has been observed and is received." -- L. Ron Hubbard
An acknowledgment can be a nod or a smile, a "thank you" or an "okay." It lets the person know that you received his or her communication.
For example, if I ask you for the time and you reply, "It's nine o'clock," how would you know I received your answer if I didn't give you an acknowledgment? You would not know if you have been heard.
10 Acknowledgment Facts
1. Some people do not like to talk. Why? At some point, they may have tried to express themselves and were ignored. They have given up the idea that anyone listens to them.
2. Other people talk all the time as they believe no one hears them. They are still trying to get through. They think that if they talk long enough, someone will listen. If someone would acknowledge them, they would relax.
3. When employers give their staff members a good acknowledgment for completing their work, the staff members feel proud and satisfied.
"Boss, I finished that project ahead of schedule and under budget!"
"Good job!"
If the boss does not acknowledge the project completion, the employee will either repeat the statement or give up and lose interest in talking to the boss.
4. Employees who are not acknowledged will demand more pay because pay is a form of acknowledgment. Without any acknowledgments, an employee will eventually give up and find a boss who appreciates the employee's hard work.
5. Bosses and parents need acknowledgment as well.
"Could you clean up this area before you leave?"
Silence.
"I said, clean up this area before you leave."
Blank face.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID CLEAN UP THE AREA BEFORE YOU LEAVE! GOT IT?"
6. Acknowledgments keep relationships going. If you never respond to personal letters, no one will write to you. If you forget to thank people for their gifts, you eventually get no gifts. If you never return telephone calls, your phone goes silent.
7. Acknowledging e-mail communication is also important. With so many spam filters around, you might not know that your message got through if the person does not write back. You improve your relationships when you acknowledge your e-mail: "Thanks for the note."
8. Children who are not acknowledged get upset and demand more attention. "Mommy? Watch this! Mommy? Watch me! Mommy? Look at me! Mommy? Mommy?" Parents who acknowledge their children have calmer, more confident children.
9. Even dogs and cats are happier when you acknowledge their efforts to please you. Ignore them and they might cause problems.
10. When people do not acknowledge you, you repeat yourself. You start to nod your head as you talk. You speak louder. You get angry or yell.
Finally, you might decide "to heck with it" and stop talking.
Next time someone repeats themselves or gets irritated at you for no reason, give him or her a good acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand. Thank you."
If you are not sure an acknowledgment is important, listen to someone talk to you and then say nothing. Remain silent. Don't even nod your head. Notice how they react.
Then give the person some relief and say, "Oh, sorry. I heard you. Please go on."
How to Give Great Acknowledgments
To properly acknowledge someone, pay attention and wait until the person is finished. Then indicate you received and understood the message. "Okay," "Thanks," "Good," "All right," "I got that," "No problem," "Makes sense," "Sure thing," "Fine," "Roger" or whatever.
Give it a try!
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