TipsForSuccess: A Powerful Communication Technique

 

A Powerful Communication Technique Why do you like talking to some people more than others? Do some people seem to understand you better than others? Do you wish people felt more comfortable talking to you? Would you like people to confide in you more often? If so, you'll like this simple, yet powerful, communication technique. After someone tells you something, what should you do next? How do you let the person know you heard what he or she said? "Acknowledgment: Something said or done to inform another that his statement or action has been noted, understood and received. 'Very good,' 'Okay,' and other such phrases are intended to inform another who has spoken or acted that his statement or action has been accepted." "Acknowledgment itself does not necessarily imply an approval or disapproval or any other thing beyond the knowledge that an action or statement has been observed and is received." -- L. Ron Hubbard An acknowledgment can be a nod or a smile, a "thank you" or an "okay." It lets the person know that you received his or her communication. For example, if I ask you for the time and you reply, "It's nine o'clock," how would you know I received your answer if I didn't give you an acknowledgment? You would not know if you have been heard. 10 Acknowledgment Facts 1. Some people do not like to talk. Why? At some point, they may have tried to express themselves and were ignored. They have given up the idea that anyone listens to them. 2. Other people talk all the time as they believe no one hears them. They are still trying to get through. They think that if they talk long enough, someone will listen. If someone would acknowledge them, they would relax. 3. When employers give their staff members a good acknowledgment for completing their work, the staff members feel proud and satisfied. "Boss, I finished that project ahead of schedule and under budget!" "Good job!" If the boss does not acknowledge the project completion, the employee will either repeat the statement or give up and lose interest in talking to the boss. 4. Employees who are not acknowledged will demand more pay because pay is a form of acknowledgment. Without any acknowledgments, an employee will eventually give up and find a boss who appreciates the employee's hard work. 5. Bosses and parents need acknowledgment as well. "Could you clean up this area before you leave?" Silence. "I said, clean up this area before you leave." Blank face. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID CLEAN UP THE AREA BEFORE YOU LEAVE! GOT IT?" 6. Acknowledgments keep relationships going. If you never respond to personal letters, no one will write to you. If you forget to thank people for their gifts, you eventually get no gifts. If you never return telephone calls, your phone goes silent. 7. Acknowledging e-mail communication is also important. With so many spam filters around, you might not know that your message got through if the person does not write back. You improve your relationships when you acknowledge your e-mail: "Thanks for the note." 8. Children who are not acknowledged get upset and demand more attention. "Mommy? Watch this! Mommy? Watch me! Mommy? Look at me! Mommy? Mommy?" Parents who acknowledge their children have calmer, more confident children. 9. Even dogs and cats are happier when you acknowledge their efforts to please you. Ignore them and they might cause problems. 10. When people do not acknowledge you, you repeat yourself. You start to nod your head as you talk. You speak louder. You get angry or yell. Finally, you might decide "to heck with it" and stop talking. Next time someone repeats themselves or gets irritated at you for no reason, give him or her a good acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand. Thank you." If you are not sure an acknowledgment is important, listen to someone talk to you and then say nothing. Remain silent. Don't even nod your head. Notice how they react. Then give the person some relief and say, "Oh, sorry. I heard you. Please go on." How to Give Great Acknowledgments To properly acknowledge someone, pay attention and wait until the person is finished. Then indicate you received and understood the message. "Okay," "Thanks," "Good," "All right," "I got that," "No problem," "Makes sense," "Sure thing," "Fine," "Roger" or whatever. Give it a try! Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: Stupid Thinking

 

TipsForSuccess: Improve Your Health and Happiness

Stupid Thinking Can you think things through? When you do something, do you consider what will happen next? If you hit your hand with a hammer, it will hurt. If you scream at people, you will not be loved. If you steal cars, you will go to jail. If you can think in sequence, you are probably not a criminal. You can see the consequences of a crime. A criminal cannot think that far ahead. "This is a consequence. 'If you saw off the limb you are sitting on you will of course fall.' "Police try to bring this home often to people who have no concept of sequence; so the threat of punishment works well on well-behaved citizens and not at all on criminals since they often are criminals because they can't think in sequence." -- L. Ron Hubbard For example, a murderer may only think about revenge. He cannot see beyond the death of the person he hates. He does not think about living in prison for 50 years. Smart people get what they want without crime. Only criminals are stupid enough to think a crime has no consequences. For example, if you want $500, you can just work at a job. Even at $7.00 per hour, it only takes two weeks to earn $500. You can spend it however you like, no stress, no secrets, no risks. A criminal robs a store for $500 without thinking it through. If he's not caught right away, he must keep his crime a secret. He might need to hide. His life is no longer open, happy and trusting. For just $500, he ruins his life and reduces his chances for success. A criminal also fails to see how he or she hurts others. A stolen car, even when insured, can take months to replace. Stolen money might represent someone's life savings and ruin their retirement years. The victims of a violent crime can suffer a lifetime of pain as the result of the criminal's act. Street-drug users can only think about their next high. If they looked further into the future, they would see damage to their bodies, financial ruin and failed marriages. Prison time is also a real possibility; in fact, half of the inmates in US prisons are there for violating drug laws. Only when a criminal gets smart and thinks in sequence does he or she stop committing crimes. Small Crimes People who commit small crimes do not think in sequence either. "If I take a few office supplies, no one will know." This person does not see the nagging feeling of guilt or the possibility of getting caught, getting fired and being labeled a criminal. This person does not see the big risks far outweigh the tiny benefit. Crimes against your spouse, friends or family might not lead to jail time, but can be equally devastating. For example, the sequences of a sexual affair can lead to disease, blackmail, legal problems and divorce. Even lying is a sign of stupid thinking. People who lie are shocked when no one believes them any longer. They fail to consider at least three sequences of a lie: you need to remember your lie for a long time so you do not accidentally tell the truth; if caught in your lie, you look twice as bad than if you had just admitted the truth in the first place; lying can also make you feel guilty and unhappy. Recommendations 1. When making a big decision, think in sequence. If you do Plan A, what are the consequences? If you do Plan B, what are those consequences? 2. Teach children how to think in sequence. "If you hit your brother, what might happen? Let's ask him." "If you don't do your homework, what will happen?" "If you steal candy from the store, what might happen? What would it be like to get caught? Let's ask the store manager what would happen." 3. Talk to criminals about sequences. Help them see the bigger picture. Get them to practice thinking in sequence. As crime hurts everyone directly or indirectly, we all increase our chances of success by helping criminals get smarter.   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: The Secret of Efficiency

Improve Your Health and Happiness You may have heard that to succeed, you need to adjust yourself to the world around you. Examples: "You'd better get used to it as that's the way it is." "To be happy, you must compromise." "Don't make waves!" Yet, to succeed, you must take a different approach. "Man succeeds because he adjusts his environment to him, not by adjusting himself to the environment." -- L. Ron Hubbard You decide what you want and how you want it. You take an active role. You change the world around you. Think of the most successful people you know. Do they mold themselves to fit in? Or do they change the world around them? As well as determining your success, your ability to adjust your environment also determines your health and happiness. "So long as an individual maintains his own belief in his ability to handle the physical universe and organisms about him and to control them if necessary or to work in harmony with them, and to make himself competent over and among the physical universe of his environment, he remains healthy, stable and balanced and cheerful."-- L. Ron Hubbard Jack and Jill Jack tries to get along and not cause trouble. His neighbor plays loud rock-and-roll music all night long, so Jack buys ear plugs. Jack hates leaving his apartment as the building lobby is full of boxes and junk; he just steps around the mess. His co-worker makes Jack pick him up for work each day with no compensation, ". . . since you drive near my house anyway." Each year, he develops some kind of illness or needs an operation. After 25 years at the same company, Jack is only making $22 per hour, but he does not mind as his company gives him good health insurance. At the age of 51, Jack gets cancer and dies. Jill moves into Jack's vacant apartment and can't sleep because of the loud music. She calls the neighbor and works out an agreement so the neighbor plays music all day while she works, but won't at night. Jill convinces this neighbor and a few of the other tenants to spend a few hours cleaning up the lobby and the entry; they even wash the sidewalk and plant some flowers. Even though Jill has earned several management promotions and pay increases at her company, she decides to start her own business and makes it successful. She soon buys the apartment building and takes over the top floor for herself. Jill is never ill and at the age of 78, still spends a few hours each week working at her company. Obviously, Jack adjusts himself to the environment while Jill adjusts the environment to herself. Are you more like Jack or Jill? Recommendations 1. Decide to take over your world and adjust your world to your needs and wants. 2. Make a list of everything around you that you would like to change. Examples Clean the house Change my car oil Tear out all the weeds in my garden Exercise daily and lose 10 pounds Reorganize my desk Make people stop dropping in to chat while I'm working Call the city to fix the broken street light 3. Select the easiest items on your list and go change them. Then change the next easiest items and so on. 4. Constantly change and improve the world around you. Never settle back, give up or "accept reality." Make steady progress while maintaining your control of the parts you have already conquered. If you continue to increase your control of the elements in your environment, you become healthier, happier and more successful.   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

The Secret of Efficiency Do you ever feel overworked, overloaded or overwhelmed? Is this because you have too much to do? Because your boss is too demanding? Because your work goals are too large? Why can some people produce twice as much as others? For example, Jane not only handles three kids, but works 30 hours per week and runs a small business from her home office. Jane's house is always clean and she cooks incredible meals for her family. Jill, on the other hand, has one daughter, produces no income, can't keep up with her housework and prefers pizza or Chinese food delivery for dinners. Both Jane and Jill are good mothers, but why are they so different? Are you more like Jane or Jill? If you want to be efficient and get more done in less time, you simply rid yourself of two bad habits and form one good habit. Two Bad Habits 1. The first bad habit is to look at a piece of work you are supposed to do-a letter, program, interoffice communication, task assignment, request, whatever-and put it aside to do later. Instead of acting, you read it, digest it, think about doing it, consider the problems involved, sigh, and put it down to do later. Nothing is accomplished. A total waste of time. 2. The second bad habit is taking a piece of work, deciding you do not want to do it and referring it to someone else, even though it is your job to do. The other person eventually sends it back to you. A total waste of your time and the other person's time. One Good Habit "Do it Now." "One of the best ways to cut your work in half is not to do it twice." "If you do every piece of work that comes your way WHEN it comes your way and not after a while, if you always take the initiative and take action, not refer it, you never get any traffic back. . ." "In short, the way to get rid of traffic is to do it, not to refer it; anything referred has to be read by you again, digested again, and handled again; so never refer traffic, just do it so it's done." "So if you are truly a lover of ease, the sort of person who yawns comfortably and wears holes in heels resting them on desks, if your true ambition is one long bout of spring fever, then you'll do as I suggest and handle everything that comes your way when it comes and not later; and you'll never refer anything to anybody that you yourself can do promptly." "Do it when you see it and do it yourself." -- L. Ron Hubbard Recommendation You can form the "do-it-now" habit by making yourself do it now, every time you can. And the best time to get the "do-it-now" habit is, of course, RIGHT NOW! 1. Take a stack of papers or any kind of cluttered mess that you need to handle. 2. Read or examine the first item. 3. Deal with it. If the item has no current use, file it, store it or throw it away. If you need to take action, do it right now. Persist until the job is completely DONE. If you dislike the work involved, it is even more important that you do it right now. ". . . take the initiative and take action . . . ." 4. Remember the rewards of the do-it-now habit. If you do your work in half the time, how will you spend the extra time? What new activity could you do that would increase your productivity? What would be fun to do if you had some extra time on your hands? Give it a try!   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: How to Have More Courage

 

How to Have More Courage If you were afraid of nothing, how would your life improve? Fear stops success. For example, a man who wants to get married, but is afraid of women, will probably not get married. His fear stops him from reaching his goal. If you want to run a big company, you will fail if you are afraid of making big decisions. If you want to be a successful doctor, you cannot be afraid of sick people. If you want to succeed as an athlete, you cannot be afraid of hard, painful practice. All types of fears can ruin your success: fear of angry people, fear of selling, fear of paperwork, fear of speaking to groups, fear of stating the truth, fear of asking for money, fear of responsibility, fear of flying, fear of looking stupid, fear of displeasing someone and more. If you were afraid of nothing, what goals would you set? What could you accomplish? The Best Way to Remove a Fear Is to Face the Fear "Definition: Fear is a state of imperception*; fear is an unwillingness to confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard (imperception = not perceiving; no awareness) When you fear something, you cannot perceive it very well. Your awareness is reduced. You do not look at it. To dissolve a fear, you must face it, confront it, experience it, perceive it and look it in the eye. Until you do this, the fear persists. If you let a fear control you, you will avoid it, ignore it, alter it or run away from it. For example, Bob is terrified that his son is homosexual. Bob's friend comes up to him and says, "So Bob, I hear your son is gay. Is that true?" Bob has five options: Avoid it: "My son? Oh, he's moving to New York." Ignore it: "So how are your kids doing?" Alter it: "No, he just dresses well." Run away from it: "Oops! Look at the time! I've got to go. Bye." Face it: "Yes, my son is gay." Only the last option dissolves Bob's fear. It makes Bob happier than the other options. He can also be more successful as a father. Which of these five options do you use to deal with your fears? Nancy Nancy is afraid of offending people. Because of her fear, she cannot reach her goal to be a manager. Instead, she is stuck in a low-paying, boring, computer typing job. Sometimes, Nancy ignores conflicts. For example, a worker in the next cubicle plays loud music. Nancy gets some earplugs. Sometimes Nancy alters the problem. For example, Nancy returns to her desk to see a co-worker looking in her drawers. The co-worker says, "I'm looking for a pen." Nancy later notices $20 is missing. She alters what she knows has happened and says, "I must have left the cash at home." So Nancy decides to change her life and face her fears. She walks over to the next cubicle, looks directly at the worker and says, "Please turn down the music." The worker is stunned and turns off the radio. Nancy then goes to the other co-worker and says, "I'm missing $20 that was in my desk before you went through it. Do you have it?" The co-worker says, "Oh, yes, I meant to ask, can I could borrow it?" Nancy says, "Sorry, I need it today" and gets her $20 back. Nancy feels happier than she has in years. She decides to go face her boss and ask for the management training she has always wanted. You can do the same with any of your own fears. You might think facing a fear will make the situation worse. You might think that facing the fear might even kill you. But is living as a coward really a life? Recommendation When you look fear in the face, you gain strength, courage and confidence. You stop being a coward and start succeeding. Each time you face a fear, it gets easier. You continue to confront the fear and it eventually disappears. When you face a fear, and act despite the fear, you have courage. Confronting your fears not only makes you more successful, it makes you happier. "To be happy, one only must be able to confront, which is to say, experience those things that are." -- L. Ron Hubbard   Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.