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For a Successful Marriage, Communicate!
Marriages can survive money problems, career disasters, even affairs. But if you refuse to communicate, your relationship is doomed.
For example, Frank and Lila's marriage is in trouble. They eat together, watch television together and sleep together, but they are both lonely.
It started when Lila said, "I wish we could go to Hawaii again."
Frank decided Lila meant he was not making enough money; he never asked her, but assumed it. He decided it was best to become unemotional and not tell Lila his true feelings.
Lila noticed Frank was more silent at dinnertime than normal. She thought, "He must not like my cooking." She did not ask, but simply assumed he did not like her cooking. She decided it was better to not bring it up.
Lila was also sure Frank did not like her family or her looks. Frank convinced himself Lila thought he was a loser. Both had doubts and neither would speak.
Frank and Lila decided to improve their communication. While it seemed like the hardest thing in the world to do, Frank forced himself to talk.
"Lila, do you think I'm a loser?"
Lila replied, "Of course not! I think you're an excellent provider. I just wish you liked my cooking and my family and my looks."
Frank says, "I love your cooking and your looks!"
They then worked out his problems with her family and set a goal to visit Hawaii.
Repairing a troubled marriage requires much more communication than in the example, but the key principle applies.
"When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Any kind of relationship improves with communication: friends, co-workers, children, bosses.
If talking about certain subjects is hard for you, start with easy subjects. Talk about anything. Then work your way back to the problems. Persist until the relationship is succeeding.
Whenever you have doubts about something, COMMUNICATE! Talk, talk, talk until the problem resolves. When you feel stress, disagreement or resistance between you and someone near to you, the wrong thing to do is ignore the problem. Instead, start communicating.
When a marriage is bad, there are few things more miserable. But when your marriage is good, there are few things more wonderful. Communication is the key.
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