TipsForSuccess: Say it Like You Mean it


Say it Like You Mean it "If you intend something to happen, it happens, if you intend it to happen. Verbalization* is not the intention. The intention is the carrier wave which takes the verbalization along with it." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Verbalization: Expressing oneself in words.) When you use the correct level of intention in your communication, people pay attention to you. People can feel your intention and you can feel theirs. For example, have you ever noticed how you can tell someone is looking at you behind your back? Do you ever think of a person just before they call? You are feeling their intention. People respond differently to you, based on your intention. For example, you are in a busy clothing store and need a clerk's help. With poor intention, you might wait all day. But with strong intention, you look at the clerk, his head whips around and he asks if he can help you. Driving a car with strong intention practically guarantees no one will hit you. All the other drivers know you are there and give you plenty of room on the road. If you let your thoughts drift, the other drivers forget you are there. Intention is behind all of your major accomplishments. Intention is your drive, your motivation, your purpose, your passion. When you add firm intention to your communication, you get better results. For example, if you tell your children to clean up their rooms with weak intention, they continue to play around. If you tell them to clean their rooms with strong intention, they can tell that you mean it and their rooms get cleaned up. Intention at Work Your job is easier when you use the correct amount of intention. For example, a coworker named Chris likes to complain to you. Chris says, "I hate this crappy chair." "This weather is horrible." "Oh no, here comes Mr. Big again." Tolerating or avoiding Chris resolves nothing. Your workplace remains stressful. But if you look Chris in the eye and say, "Chris, stop complaining," you enjoy some wonderful results-if your intention is strong enough. A salesperson, with a strong intention to sell, gets more sales. A service representative, with a strong intention to make customers happy, helps the company thrive. A job applicant, with a strong intention to land the job, gets the job. A manager with poor intention gets little cooperation and eventually fails. The people under a weak manager often fail to do their jobs, unless they feel like it. But a manager with strong intention, finds that his or her employees usually do what they were hired to do. Exercise Suggestions 1. Write down 3-5 things that are difficult for you to get people to do. Examples: Telling someone "No." Asking for money. Correcting someone's behavior. For example, a coworker always forgets to bring back your stapler. 2. With a coach or friend, or by yourself to an object, say the first thing on your list with little or no intention. Really be wimpy. Repeat a few times. For example, you say, "Joe, return my stapler when you are done with it," but you are thinking, "sir, if you get a chance and don't mind could you please try to remember to return my stapler if you have nothing else to do please?" 3. Now practice saying the first thing with too much intention. Be much stronger than necessary. Repeat a few times. For example, you still say, "Joe, return my stapler when you are done with it," but your intention is "JOE, BRING BACK MY STAPLER OR ELSE!!" 4. Next, say the first thing from the list with the right amount of intention. The correct amount of intention gets the job done. Repeat a few times. For example, you still say, "Joe, return my stapler when you are done with it," and your intention is very clear: "Joe, return my stapler when you are done with it." 5. Repeat with each item on your list until you are ready to give each item a try. Use the correct level of intention today with each of the items on your list. Notice the results!


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