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TipsForSuccess: Hate



Have you ever hated someone without knowing why?

Perhaps before you hated the person, you tried to help him or her.

For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?"

You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise."

Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."

You suddenly feel mad at Jill.

"If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You tried to help someone and you flopped. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind of help you offered.

Does someone hate you?

Did that person ever try to help you? Was it useless help? Did you reject his or her help?

It's a rotten feeling to try to help someone and fail.

How to Resolve This Hatred

"Pick a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron Hubbard

So instead of ignoring the person or talking about problems, talk about the subject of "help." Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on.

Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion

1. Do you like getting help?
2. Do you like helping others?
3. How do you feel about me helping you?
4. How do you feel about helping me?
5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't?
6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't?
7. Do you wish you could help more people?
8. Do you wish more people could help you?
9. In the future, how can I help you?
10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?

"Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Give it a try!

Copyright © 2006 All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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