TipsForSuccess: A Major Source of Stress with a Simple Solution

A Major Source of Stress with a Simple Solution "It could be said that there are introverted personalities and extroverted personalities. An extroverted personality is one who is capable of looking around the environment. An introverted personality is only capable of looking inward at himself." -- L. Ron Hubbard from The Problems of Work If you are introverted, your world is very small. It includes you and your immediate surroundings, but not much more. Most of your attention is on yourself. If you are extroverted, your world is very large. You see everyone around you. You can better understand what is happening in your family, your group and your community. Your attention is out and away from yourself. This is how you might get introverted. * You read papers and reports at work, then go home and read newspapers and books. * You stare at a computer screen all day, then go home and stare at a TV screen all night. * You give instructions or orders at work, then go home and drive your spouse and kids crazy with instructions or orders. When you are introverted, you feel stressed. You cannot sleep well. You are on edge. This explains why vacations are so much fun! Before the vacation, your attention is focused inward. You feel exhausted, mentally drained and overwhelmed. You then travel to a new location and look at mountains, buildings or oceans, for a change. Your attention goes outward and you become extroverted. Fortunately, you can get extroverted any time you like, without the time or cost of a vacation. A Simple Solution Whenever you feel introverted, take a few minutes to move your attention outward by taking a walk. "When one feels tired on finishing his work, no matter if the thought of doing so is almost all that he can tolerate without falling through the floor, he should go out and walk around the block until he feels rested." -- L. Ron Hubbard For example, instead coming home from work and continuing to read papers or watch a screen like you have been doing all day, take a walk and you'll feel refreshed and happy. Do you ever feel too tired to sleep? Take a walk and you'll feel relaxed and sleepy. Can't get your mind off your problems or a fear? Take a walk and get extroverted. Your problems or fears become easier to deal with. Give it a try! Walk around your neighborhood or a park. Feel the air, look at the sky, listen to the birds, wake up your senses, focus on the present. Take this mini-vacation until you feel relaxed and optimistic. If you cannot get outside, walk around your home or yard. Touch and feel the textures of objects. Find something new to look at. Keep putting your attention on your surroundings until you extrovert. When you are extroverted, you think more clearly. You treat people more rationally. You feel relaxed and in control. To succeed you need to be extroverted. So take a walk!   Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: How to Handle Bullies, Complainers, Critics and Whiners

How to Handle Bullies, Complainers, Critics and Whiners A big jerk at your work place is demanding you do part of his job without pay or credit. How do you handle it? Your neighbors wake you up in the middle of most nights with screams and curses. What do you say to them? Your father constantly criticizes your work and tells you what you should do. How do you deal with him? Difficult people are part of everyone's life. Employers and employees can't get along. Partners clash over money. Spouses cannot resolve disagreements. If you ignore these situations, they get worse. Employees get fired, partnerships and marriages break up, everyone is miserable. If you attack the person, at least you are trying to fix the problem. However, anger gives you a bad name, makes people afraid of you and prevents honest communication. Prepare to Succeed "THE SUCCESS OF ANY EVENT IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE TIMELY PREPARATION." -- L. Ron Hubbard By getting organized and working out a plan of action, handling people becomes much easier. The following seven steps can help you handle the difficult people in your life. 1. Make the decision to face up to the person directly and by yourself. 2. Write down the exact problem you need to handle and your goal for the confrontation. Examples: "Joe is refusing to pay me despite our agreement." "Chris drives me crazy with her continual complaining." "Bob may be telling people that my work is inferior and I am dishonest." 3. Write down a goal for the meeting. "By the end of the meeting, I want . . . ." Examples: "Joe pays me in full." "Chris stops complaining or leaves." "Learn the truth about Bob's comments and if true, get him to stop it." "Decide if I want this person as a friend." 4. List the of points you need to make to support your goal: facts, reasons and explanations you may need the other person to understand. For example, to get Joe to understand why he must pay you, you might make these points: A.) Joe requested the service. B.) Joe signed an agreement to pay for the service. C.) We provided the service as promised. D.) Joe was happy with the service. 5. Write down objections, reactions or disagreements the other person may have. Include everything you are afraid might happen during the meeting. Putting specific concerns and fears in writing reduces their impact on you. For each objection, reaction or disagreement you expect will happen, write a solution of how you will deal with each. 6. Arrange the meeting where you will not be disturbed, preferably in a space you control. 7. Start the meeting. Look the person directly in the eye. Explain the specific problem you want to resolve as you noted in Step 2. Go over your first point on the list from Step 4. Listen carefully to the other person and make certain they feel understood. Hold a position on your points. Use your solutions to their reactions that you worked out in Step 5. Continue describing your points from Step 4. Keep listening to the person's side and look for solutions. Do not give up. Communicate and persist for as long as it takes to reach your goal. The more frequently you confront and handle difficult people, the easier it becomes. The amount of time it takes to prepare for a confrontation decreases. You become strong and tough. When you confront and handle everyone around you, people respect you for your courage, your honesty and your control. Your associates, employees or coworkers follow your example and become more productive. Your enemies either become harmless or become friends. Taking positive organized action, despite fear, is the kind of courage all successful people must have to succeed. Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: Leadership Success

Leadership Success You are a leader, even if not officially. People follow your example, learn from you, want to know your opinions and so on. Constantly improving your leadership skills is essential to your success. Most people have the wrong idea about leadership. For example, car salesman Jim was promoted to the Sales Manager position. During his first week as manager, he decided to show everyone who was boss. Jim cracked the whip. He held a meeting and told the other sales people, "I want 10 cars sold today or someone will get fired!" The sales people ran around looking busy and avoiding Jim. Everyone tried to force customers to buy cars, but car sales dropped. Jim yelled even louder. "You can't sell cars by pressuring customers, you idiots! Now get out there and sell these stupid cars!" After a month of this, his two best sales people quit. Sales dropped even further. Jim said, "I can't believe this! What am I doing wrong?" Five Bad Leadership Attitudes Like many new managers, Jim had these five wrong ideas: 1. "Because I'm the manager, you better respect me . . . or else!" 2. "People are lazy; I have to force them to work." 3. "I'm superior to everyone. I can do anything I want." 4. "If you work for me, you need to kiss my butt." 5. "If you don't like how I run things, you can leave." Because of these attitudes, Jim's sales people were selling fewer cars and looking for other jobs. If Jim did not change his attitude, he would also be looking for a new job soon. Just in time, Jim learned this vital fact about management. A Key to Leadership Success "I believe that to command is to serve and only gives one the right to serve." -- L. Ron Hubbard At first Jim said, "What? I'm supposed to serve others? How ridiculous!" But then he thought it through. A lightbulb above his head flashed on. "If I SERVE my staff members by teaching them about sales and cars, they know how to sell better." "If I SERVE my staff members with kindness and courtesy, they treat customers better!" "If I'm here to SERVE my team, I don't force them to make sales, I help them make sales." A New Day The next morning, Jim brought in a box of chocolate doughnuts for the sales staff and said, "Today is a new day! This may be a shock to you, but I've realized that I've been a bad manager. I want to try helping you instead of yelling at you, okay?" He asked, "How can I HELP you each sell a car today?" His team offered some ideas: "Fill the tanks full of gas so we don't have to buy gas during test drives." "Let us give out more brochures." "Offer doughnuts to the customers." Jim said, "No problem! I'll get you gas, brochures and doughnuts." The staff members were stunned, but happy. During the day, he helped his sales people give service to the customers, not pressure. "She wants to discuss it with her father first?" "That's probably a good idea. Invite him down to meet us, if he'd like." "He wants to test drive twelve cars before deciding?" "No problem." "They want to show the car to their mechanic." "Great!" Customers felt they were buying luxury cars because of the excellent service. The sales people enjoyed their work. Jim had more fun with less stress. Car sales numbers went out the roof. Service, Not Slavery Jim had one small worry, "Will my people take advantage of me or run over me if I'm trying to give them service?" He soon found this was not a problem when one salesman tried to boss him around. The salesman said, "Jim, I need a few hours off to run some errands for my wife. And I need to borrow the demo car, okay?" Jim said, "No. And you can't take off a few hours until I see you sell one car today. How can I help you do your job?" Recommendations 1. Make a list of everyone you lead in one way or another: customers, staff, coworkers, family members, friends, colleagues, even your boss. 2. Write down one or more ways you can better serve each person this week. 3. Provide these services during the week. Observe the results. Watch how people react. Notice how you feel. If you persist with an attitude of service, your position improves, your pay increases and you have more fun. Not only are you more successful, so are the ones you lead.   Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

 

TipsForSuccess: Imagine Your Success

 

Imagine Your Success During a tour of duty in Vietnam, Major James Nesmeth was captured and held prisoner in a tiny cell for seven years. To keep sane, he mentally practiced his golf game. Every day he would imagine being at the first tee at his country club. He would imagine the weather, the feel of the club and the grass at his feet. He would look at the ball and imagine the perfect swing. Soon after he was freed and returned to the United States, he went to his country club and played a round of golf. Without touching his club for seven years, he improved his game by 20 strokes . . . as a prisoner of war! "One's ability to imagine is directly proportional to one's ability to be successful." -- L. Ron Hubbard As well as using your imagination to improve your golf game, you can use it in many other ways. Goal Achievement Imagine successfully achieving your goals and your chances of reaching those goals are greater. For example, Shelly and her sister Jill both want to own a home. Shelly keeps a box filled with paint colors, carpet samples, floor plans and so on. She clips out articles about home locations, loans and buying tips. She has a clear mental image of what her home will look like. Jill, on the other hand, worries about the problems of buying a home. She worries that house prices are getting out of reach for her. She feels terror whenever mortgage rates increase. She complains that life is unfair. Shelly and Jill both learn about a house for sale for a very low price. Which sister says, "I'm sure I can't afford it." Which sister says, "I'm going to go see this house during my lunch break." Who do you think will be first to own a house? What Can You Imagine? Your imagination can help you do a better job at work. For example, your paperwork mountain is swallowing up your desk. While taking your morning shower, you envision yourself completing the entire pile in one day. You imagine yourself working hard and fast to clean up the backlog. You feel the joy as the last piece of paper is handled and you look at your clean desk. When you arrive at work, you know what to do. Because you have a good imagination, you soon have a clean desk. Other uses: ● Imagine how the rest of today will go for you. Take a minute and imagine it will be a wonderful. ● Imagine getting more work done next week than ever in your life. ● If you are looking for a spouse, imagine what he or she will be like. Imagine your lives together. ● Imagine what you might accomplish this year. What if you could accomplish anything at all? ● Imagine accomplishing one of your goals. How will it happen? How will you feel? ● When you think about being successful, what does it include? Imagine that! Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

 

TipsForSuccess: How to Be Happy

How to Be Happy Many people believe they cannot be happy. They say, "Anyone who tells you they're happy is lying." "I'd be happy if I had a better _____ (spouse, job, body, house, income, parent, child, boss, employee, government)." "Life stinks and then you die." The truth is, you are the one who controls the amount of joy you have in your life. You control it based on how well you follow these two rules: "One: Be able to experience anything. "Two: Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily." -- L. Ron Hubbard from Scientology: A New Slant on Life. Rule One Every time you are unhappy, there is something you cannot experience. You cannot "be there" with it. You cannot face it. For example, you are unhappy when someone yells at you. If you can experience being yelled at, you can be happy. So you decide you will learn to take it. You practice by having a friend yell at you until you can experience it. You realize it's simply noise. Because you can experience people yelling at you, it no longer makes you unhappy. "To be happy, one only must be able to confront, which is to say, experience those things that are." -- L. Ron Hubbard As another example, you need to give presentations at your job. However, you hate speaking to groups. You make up excuses and avoid this part of your job until you get fired. If instead, you face the music and give the talks, you succeed. Despite your fear, you face and experience the audience. You confront the job and feel happy. Wealth Tip Rule One gives you an opportunity to increase your income. If you can easily experience work that most people can't or won't do, you become more valuable. For example, understanding complicated laws, performing heart surgery and managing thousands of people are difficult jobs to experience. This is why lawyers, doctors and CEOs make more money than others. Jobs like selling hot dogs or answering telephones are easy to experience and so do not pay as well. What valuable work can you do that others can't easily experience? What are the most difficult things for you to experience at work? If you could easily experience them, what would happen with your pay? Rule Two "Two: Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily." -- L. Ron Hubbard This means you need to pay attention to others. Everyone experiences things differently. For example, your colorful language offends your mother, but makes your friend laugh. Spending the day at a shopping mall is a joy for your daughter, but a boring waste of time for your son. Your political views enrage your father-in-law, but inspire your neighbor. To be happy, you cannot have attitudes like these: "I'll say whatever I want to anyone I want." "If you don't like what I do, that's your problem." "It's dishonest to not say how I feel." If you don't care about other people's happiness, the people around you will eventually not care about your happiness either. Everyone becomes unhappy. "To create only those effects which others could easily experience gives us a clean new rule of living." -- L. Ron Hubbard If you follow this rule, your work relationships, marriage and friendships all thrive. If you break this rule, you lose friends and make enemies. For example, you notice that your spouse cannot easily experience you complaining about your work. You stop complaining and your spouse is more cheerful. You feel happier. The rule worked. Employees and Children You may think this second rule means you can't demand good performance from employees. For example, "My employees can't easily experience hard work, so I'll be soft on them." However, laziness ruins productivity which ruins your company. A bankrupt company is difficult for everyone to experience! So you learn to demand good performance in a way that others can easily experience. "Let's get 100 parts built by Friday and I'll buy everyone lunch!" Everyone is productive AND happy. As another example, children may not like brushing their teeth, but tooth pain is much more difficult to experience. So you get your kids to brush without anger or threats. "Let's all go brush our teeth with this new purple toothpaste!" How to Be Happy Right Now What is making you unhappy right now? Which rule do you need to follow? "One: Be able to experience anything." "Two: Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily." -- L. Ron Hubbard What can you do right now to follow that rule? How to Be Happy Next Week 1. Write down everything that might be hard for you to experience next week. 2. Write what you can do next week to more easily experience these things. 3. List out what you might do or say next week that others may not easily experience. 4. Write how you can accomplish your objectives next week while only causing things that others can easily experience. Make these changes and you might have your happiest week ever!   Copyright © 2008 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. To read all eight articles on ARC, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/arc.htm. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.