TipsForSuccess: September 2010

TipsForSuccess: How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 2)

How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 2 of 3)

No matter how often you blame others, no matter how convincing your arguments, and no matter how many people agree with you, blame does not boost your productivity, increase your income or make you happier.

"Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Accepting full responsibility makes you successful. You can solve your own problems. You sit in the driver's seat of life.

Taking Responsibility is Easy

"We can define responsibility as the concept of being able to care for, to reach or to be."

"It includes guard it, help it, like it, be interested in it, etc."

"It is willingness to own or act or use or be." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Responsible People

Responsible people look at how they cause things. They care for people around them. They do not withdraw from difficulties, but reach out to solve them.

They can imagine how it is to be other people. They guard friendships and defend the people they work with and for. They like people and enjoy helping them.

They are naturally interested in others. They never say, "That's not my problem," but will own any problem and say, "Maybe I can help." They act and use their abilities to the advantage of all.

Based on the definition of responsibility, you can create a list of questions to ask yourself. You can use your answers as a guide toward fuller responsibility.

For example, you are having a problem with someone at work. You can ask yourself these questions.

1. CAUSE IT: How have I caused this problem with this person?

2. CARE FOR IT: What aspect of this problem can I care for?

3. REACH IT: Instead of withdrawing from it, how can I reach toward it?

4. BE IT: What would I do if I were this difficult person?

5. GUARD IT: Is there some way I can guard this person?

6. HELP IT: Is there something I can do to help this person?

7. LIKE IT: What can I do to like him or her?

8. INTERESTED IN IT: What can I do to become more interested in this person?

9. OWN IT: How can I own the problem?

10. ACT WITH IT: Can I act with this person?

11. USE IT: How can I use the problem to my benefit?

Examples

These examples show how irresponsible and responsible people deal with problems.

Not Responsible: "Hey! That guy sold me a bad car. He ripped me off! It won't even start!"

Responsible: "How did I cause this? Maybe if I'd gotten a mechanic to check it before I bought it. I should have been suspicious because the price was so low. Learned a good lesson here."

Not Responsible: "That woman I called was so mad at me I just can't work any longer. I'll just quit for today and wait to make these calls until tomorrow when I'll be feeling better."

Responsible: "How did I cause that woman to get mad? I guess I did nothing! She was angry before I called. How can I care for her? Well, she really was not mad at me, I think she's just acting out a personal problem. I should take some interest in her ask how she is next time. I'm ready to work now."

Not Responsible: "I'm not making much money these days selling houses. Maybe if all the other real estate people would quit, I would sell more houses. I think I'll tell everyone how slow business is. I need to convince them how difficult the real estate business is."

Responsible: "How can I care for this competition situation? Maybe if I reach out to know the other agents in the area instead of withdrawing from them, I would do better. I should learn to like them. Actually now that I think of it, we have hundreds of houses and thousands of customers to work with. There really is no competition."

Not Responsible: "The power is out again! Stupid power company."

Responsible: "How can I be it? What would it be like if I was in charge of the power company. I imagine they get a lot of nasty calls." "How can I use this problem? Actually, this would be a good time to get some exercise."

Not Responsible: "Most of my employees are lazy bums."

Responsible: "How much do I like them? I guess they are trying to do a good job and I like them for that. I think I'll help motivate them with a bonus plan."

Recommendations

Everyone can be more responsible. Taking full responsibility leads to fewer difficulties and greater success. Luckily, it's easy to do!

Try this approach:

1. Write down a problem, any problem at all.

2. Ask yourself the 11 questions above until you see how you solve the problem by taking more responsibility.

3. Repeat on other problems. Try it with any barriers that are in the way of you reaching your goals.

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

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TipsForSuccess: How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 1)

How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 1 of 3)

You do not succeed by blaming other people, the economy, the government, your boss, your staff, your family or your enemies.

No matter how hard you blame others, no matter how convincing the argument and no matter how many people agree with you, blame does not boost your productivity, increase your income or help you reach your goals.

You may think it's good for you to blame your problems on others:

"My boss is to blame. If he wasn't so mean, I'd get a promotion."

"Thanks to my stupid wife, we have no money."

"My parents were alcoholics which is why I have a learning disability."

Excuses are just as bad:

"I can't work because my computer has a virus."

"My mother-in-law was visiting that week so I couldn't pay my bills."

"If the weather wasn't so hot, I'd finish the report."

Blame and excuses are simply a problem with . . . .

Responsibility

L. Ron Hubbard has a direct, specific statement about this:

"All real difficulty stems from no responsibility."

This one important fact can represent a turning point for you. "All real difficulties" include your problems with money, businesses, relationships, bosses, employees, family, work and your health.

However, this does not mean you must blame yourself for your difficulties.

Like many people, you might think "responsibility" means "blame." It's not.

"Responsibility" is an entirely different concept.

Definition

"Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Being cause means you put yourself in the driver's seat of the problem.

You ask yourself, "How am I causing this problem?"

For example, a boss says to himself, "Employees don't know how to do their work. Okay, so how have I been the cause of this? Oh well maybe it's because I haven't trained them."

Now the boss has a solution. Instead of blaming employees for the problem, he takes responsibility for the problem and fixes it!

Another example: "My husband is an idiot. He's not making enough money, so I have to go to work. Okay, so how have I caused this? Well, maybe if I didn't insist we buy an expensive house we would have enough. I guess I should be willing to go back to work, or agree to a smaller house."

Like magic you calm down and a solution appears.

If you see how you are causing the problem you can then see how you can solve it.

How to Succeed by Taking More Responsibility

First, take responsibility for your problems. What is a difficulty you face? Select one of your problems.

Now decided to be responsible for it.

How have you caused this difficulty in your life?

What did you do that may have started it?

What could you have done differently?

Don't blame anyone. Don't think of excuses. Don't blame yourself. Do not feel shameful. Do not regret it. Simply acknowledge that you caused this problem.

"Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you can figure out how you caused the problem, you win! You are now in charge of it! You can end the difficulty.

Give it a try!

(Next week: More examples and actions you can use to master this powerful concept.)

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: Step One is BE a Success

Step One: BE a Success

Jane wants a healthy body. Andy wants a successful accounting firm. George wants a big happy family.

All three know how to reach their goals. Jane knows she needs to control her diet and exercise every day. Andy knows he needs to promote his accounting practice and provide outstanding service to his clients. George knows he needs to learn more about raising children and to spend more time with his family.

Yet they never actually DO the steps they must do to HAVE the results they want to have. Why not?

Be, Do, Have

As you know, to HAVE the things you want, you need to DO certain actions. For example, before you can HAVE money, you need to DO things to earn the money. You need to identify the most valuable product or service you can provide; show people the benefits of your service or product; deliver this service or product in high volume and high quality; collect money, expand your operation, learn from your mistakes and so on.

What you may not know is that one other condition must exist before you can succeed.

"The ability to be is more important than the ability to do. The ability to do is more important than the ability to have." -- L. Ron Hubbard

That's right! BEING is more important than DOING or HAVING!

The Correct BE

Do you know that you can BE anything?

Remember when you were very young you could BE a race car driver in the morning, a king in the afternoon and a famous singer after dinner?

It's not only fun to BE something new, it is VITAL for your success.

For example, Jane, who wants a healthy body, wants to exercise every day. Yet instead of forcing herself to start jogging, she works on the BE. She puts on her running suit, her running shoes and her running hat. She stretches her muscles like a runner. She straps her portable stereo to her arm, puts on the headphones and turns on some rock ‘n' roll.

By the time she finishes preparing, she can't wait to go out and start jogging. She feels healthy already! Because she is BEING a healthy runner, the DO is much easier. She goes outside and enjoys her run.

What identity should Jane take if she wants to control her diet? Maybe a diet expert? Perhaps a gourmet cook who specializes in healthy food? She certainly shouldn't just BE a hungry person.

What must George BE to do the steps necessary to have a successful family? In his case, he might need to take off every other "hat" in his life and put ON his family hat. Perhaps he puts on an old soft sweater, uses a kinder voice and thinks about nothing except his children. He decides to BE Dad and nothing else.

The Incorrect BE

Some people will only assume one identity. They fail in life because they refuse to BE anything else.

For example, even though he wants a highly-successful accounting firm, Andy won't change his identity. "I don't care what anyone thinks. My accounting work is perfect. I'm going to BE whatever I want."

So Andy wears the same type of clothing he wore in college. He uses bad language, smokes fat cigars and throws paper airplanes around his office.

His partner Linda assumes the identity of a highly-successful accountant. She wears professional clothing, uses perfect English and keeps her office spotless.

Andy says, "Linda is phony. I know she's really a slob like me, but she goes around acting like some big shot. She makes me sick."

Linda ignores Andy and continues to BE a professional. Naturally, clients prefer to work with Linda as they trust her. She earns three times more money than Andy.

Eventually, Linda decides to BE a highly-successful accounting firm owner. As a result, she becomes the accountant for five big businesses, moves her practice to an expensive office suite and hires two new accountants. She is creating a million-dollar firm while Andy is still being a college student.

Two More Examples

Julio wants to get married, but the women he meets want nothing to do with him. He realizes he is BEING boring, unattractive and shy. He realizes BE is more important than DO or HAVE.

Julio changes his identity to be attractive, confident and cheerful. He wears his best clothes, forces himself to stand straight and adds a smile to his face. An attractive woman at his work notices him for the first time and smiles at him.

Beth wants to write a horse-training book on training horses. After working with horses for 20 years, she has discovered new training methods, but can never get past the title page. Beth learns the importance of BE.

She realizes she was trying to write a book while BEING a horse trainer instead of an author. She reads how her favorite writer writes before sunrise, drinks herbal tea and wears a yellow sweater. So Beth gets up before sunrise, brews some herbal tea and puts on a yellow sweater. She becomes a writer, not a horse trainer, and writes five pages in five minutes!

Recommendations

If you truly want to DO the actions necessary to HAVE what you want from life, work out and assume the correct BE. These steps might help you:

1. Write down something you want to HAVE.

2. Write down the actions you DO to get it.

3. Work out the identity you must BE. List the characteristics, attitudes, appearance, qualities and features of this identity.

4. Before starting the actions, BE the correct identity for the job. Assume the characteristics. Put on the hat.

5. Once you are being what you need to BE, you will feel anxious to start the DO. Jump in with both feet!

6. Ignore those who criticize you for being what you need to BE or doing what you need to DO to get what you want to HAVE from life. Once you reach your goals, these small people will also be jealous of your success.

7. If doing the job seems too difficult, you may need to back up a step and boost the BE. Expand the identity. Do a little research about the top people in the field. Add more traits and characteristics.

Who should you BE this week?

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

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TipsForSuccess: Two Reasons Why People May Dislike You

Two Reasons Why People May Dislike You

When people do not like you, they ignore you, disagree with you or attack you. They do not help you succeed.

To make people like you, you might take extra showers, get a haircut and buy new clothes. Yet they still do not like you.

Even when you tell them how important you are, they still do not like you. Why?

Reason #1

"Asserting one's own importance is about as acceptable as a dead cat at a wedding." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Do you know someone who tells you how popular or important he or she is? Do you admire and respect this person?

To be more successful, you must use this idea in reverse. Instead of making yourself seem important, make others feel important. As a result, they feel good and want to be around you.

Certain people are very sensitive about their importance. They get upset, angry, even violent if you treat them with disrespect; with less importance than they feel they deserve. In many cases, the less money, skill or power people have, the greater their need to feel important.

Giving or granting importance to others is a skill you can use to boost goodwill and cooperation. When you make people feel important, they trust you, believe you and like you. They are happy to help you be more successful.

Reason #2

"Ignore people at your peril." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Do you know someone who walks with their nose in the air? Who walks by you as if you do not exist? How does this person make you feel?

You can ruin your success if you ignore people. For example, if you ignore the spouse of your boss, you might be demoted. If you ignore a waitress, your food might taste funny. If you ignore someone who works for you, you might suddenly find a long, deep scratch on your car.

Contrary to what you may have learned as a teenager, if you ignore people, they do not admire and respect you. Instead, they despise and hate you. Arrogance does not earn you popularity, power or expertise.

Noticing people is not only good manners, it shows the kind of person you are.

For example, Joe is going to the most important job interview in his career. He walks into the high-rise building like a big shot and gets into the elevator to go to the 30th floor. As the elevator doors close, a woman rushes up, but she can't make it as Joe just ignores her. He does not like overweight women. So of course, while waiting in the fancy lobby on th 30th floor, the overweight woman comes out to give Joe the interview.

Never assume anyone is unimportant.

Recommendations

"People have value and are important. Big or small they are important." -- L. Ron Hubbard

1. Instead of making yourself seem important, make other people feel important. Treat everyone you meet as a VIP.

2. Notice everyone you see. Give them your full attention and really listen to them.

Noticing people and making them feel important is essential to your success. They want to help you, to support you, to be on your side.

Notice everyone. Automatically respect them. They will like you.

With practice, you can notice people and make them feel important, with just a glance.

Try it today!

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.

To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here.

TipsForSuccess: How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 2)

TipsForSuccess: How to Get into the Driver's Seat of Life (Part 1)

TipsForSuccess: Step One is BE a Success

TipsForSuccess: Two Reasons Why People May Dislike You

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