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TipsForSuccess: You Tried to Reach a Goal and Failed . . . Now What?


You Tried to Reach a Goal and Failed . . . Now What?

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Have You Ever Said:


"I have too many problems to reach my goals."
"I can't succeed because I'm the wrong age/wrong race/wrong gender/wrong nationality."
"I'd rather watch TV."
"Whatever made me think I could do that?"
"I'm sick of the whole thing."
"I simply can't do it."
"I'll do it some other time."
"I don't have enough energy to do it."
"I didn't realize it would be this difficult."
"Like most people, I'll never reach my dreams."
"I've lost hope."

Once you start saying, "can't," you are on the downhill road to failure. "I can't do the project." "I can't pay my bills." "I can't succeed."

Barriers to success are built into our society. For example, most government regulations outline the things you cannot do. "You can't park there." "You can't keep that money." "Unless you follow these regulations, you can't . . . ." Read any law and notice how often the words "Prohibit," "Forbidden" and "Disallowed" occur while words like "Encouraged," "Allowed" and "Recommended" are absent.

Some employers like to act like governments and stop things. "You can't leave early." "You can't have more authority." "You can't do things your own way."

Businesses do it to customers. "We can't see you without an appointment." "I can't give you a discount." "Sorry, we cannot help you."

The real damage occurs when you stop yourself. "I can't handle more work." "I can't earn more money." "I can't change."

Why Do You Feel Stopped?


When all you see in life are problems, you feel stopped. When you decide the forces in the universe are against you, you feel stopped. Whenever you feel like giving up, you feel stopped.



The sequence goes like this:

1. You have a purpose to _________.

For example, do you remember some of your old purposes? Make $20 million. Raise a happy family. Tour Europe. Get involved in the community. Make a major contribution to society. Help people. Buy a mansion.

2. For one reason or other, you decide you have failed to achieve that purpose.

When you made some effort to achieve your purpose, you felt stopped. Maybe achieving the purpose turned out to be more difficult than you expected. Maybe you saw someone else fail. Perhaps you became afraid or lazy. Maybe someone got in your road.

3. You then invent or agree with stops or barriers to your purpose.

"It's too much work for me." "I need a better education first." "They don't want me to do this." "No one succeeds without lucky breaks." "I don't know what to do." "It's better to settle for less."

Some people go even lower and begin to fight solutions: "Don't try to help me as it is impossible." "I tried all the solutions and none of them work." "No one has the answers." "You should give up, too."

You stop looking for ways to succeed. You avoid setting any goals at all. You feel very tired.

Fortunately, you can turn things around and reach your biggest goals.

The Law Regarding Failed Purposes



A simple solution to a very big, difficult problem. Just fire up your original purpose and the stops or barriers magically disappear! Can it be that easy?

Example: Jill, an amateur athlete, wants to enter and finish a 40k (26-mile) marathon even though she lost a leg in an auto accident when she was a teenager. She starts to run every day with her prosthetic (fake) leg, but trips and falls every mile or so. People keep telling her, "You're so brave!" "I really admire you for trying." "I would have given up long ago." Finally, after missing a few runs, she decides it is getting to be too difficult.

She tries to run one morning anyway. Her real leg has a cramp. Jill normally pushes through the pain, but today it bothers her. Suddenly, she falls on the sidewalk and scrapes her elbows and hands. A delivery truck drives by, hits a puddle and soaks her clothes while she is down. She quits for the day.

Each morning a new reason for not running comes up. She has a dental appointment. The weather is bad. The cat runs away. Stops, stops, stops.

She tells her family and friends, "I just didn't realize how tough it would be." "It's too cold and wet out there." "I probably should have given up long ago." The thought of running makes her tired.

Jill then learns the law about failed purposes. She thinks about ways she can fire up her original purpose. "All I have ever wanted to do was finish that stupid 40k run! Why did I want to do that? Oh yeah, it wasn't to prove anything. It wasn't to make people admire me. I wanted to run that race long before I lost the leg. I remember when I first saw people finishing the race on TV when I was 14 years old. I thought I should do that. It would be a really great thing to do. I would just prove to myself that I could run 25 miles. THAT was my purpose! I still want that!"

Within seconds, Jill feels great! She sees no reason she can't finish the 40k marathon. She changes her clothes and gets back into training. But this time, she is more determined than ever. "Nothing is going to stop me this time!" The stops have blown off. She trains, enters and finishes the race.



1. What have you given up on? What goals did you once have, but now think are impossible? What purposes have failed?

2. FIRE THEM UP! What were your original reasons? Rekindle, renew and revive those original reasons.

3. Make the purposes stronger. Put more energy into them. Convince yourself that you can accomplish those purposes despite all the barriers. Notice what happens to all the "reasons" preventing that purpose.

4. Plan how you will reach these goals. Write down the steps. Focus on how you can succeed.

5. Make one small step toward the goal. Make another. Get some momentum going.

6. Each time you feel like quitting, change your mind and remember your reasons, your goals or your purposes.

7. You never fail until you decide to stop trying, so persist until you win!


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