| 
The Secret to a Wonderful Marriage
Why are these statements all lies?
"The honeymoon is over. We can't get the spark back in our marriage."
"When I married you, I expected you'd stay in love with me."
"This other person is my soul mate and so I've got to get a divorce."
When you meet someone and fall in love, it seems like your love will last forever. So you get married. You want a permanent feeling of love. Yet sooner or later, it happens . . . no more spark.
Maybe a marriage counselor tells you to take a weekend trip together. So you give it a try and you feel a little spark again. But once you get back to your routine, the honeymoon is over again.
Maybe you try a drug or drink some wine to make your marriage better. If it helps, it is only temporary and then drops to new lows. Besides, who wants to depend on a chemical for a good marriage?
All too often, husbands and wives give up. They either learn to live with an apathetic relationship or get divorced.
The biggest lie is that once you get married, you can sit back and enjoy it. Unfortunately, a marriage does not exist just because you have a marriage license. A family does not exist just because you have children. You need to create it.
"It's very easy to break down a family because there is no relationship in a family except a pretended relationship."
"Now, I'm not saying that marriage is a false relationship. It isn't. In this society and time, a family is the closest knit, self-perpetuating, self-protecting unit and is necessary economically and otherwise to the society the way it's rigged at this present time."
"The relationship, basically, is a postulated* relationship. There is no truth in the relationship. It is a postulated relationship.
"And when people stop postulating it, it ceases to exist!" -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Postulated: Something you create or decide is true.)
Like a garden, a marriage needs constant work. To create a beautiful garden, you need to remove the weeds and water the plants. If you do not constantly create or postulate the garden, it dies.
If you and your spouse are postulating your family and marriage, no one can come along and ruin things.
"He seduced my wife and ruined my marriage" is another way of saying, "I ignored my marriage for two years, so she found someone who wanted to create a relationship with her."
If you could just create a marriage one time and forget about it, everyone would have a happy marriage. No one would get divorced. However, it does not work that way.
A happy marriage or happy family requires constant creation by both parties on a daily basis.
Examples of How to Create Your Marriage
* Make an effort to make your spouse laugh whenever possible
* Praise his or her accomplishments
* Keep your body, breath and teeth clean
* Give small gifts and surprises
* If one of you is out of town, talk on the telephone at least once each day
* Agree on goals you can work on together
* Find new ways to help and support your spouse
* Always be willing to listen
* Agree on the most pleasurable experiences you can enjoy together and do them
Of course, the most effective way to create your marriage or other relationship is to decide to do so. If your desire is strong, you will come up with an unlimited number of ways you can create it.
Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2005 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org. For permission to copy, print or post this article, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/reprint_info.htm or click here. To subscribe, buy books, contact us or learn more about TipsForSuccess.org, click here. |
