TipsForSuccess: TipsForSuccess: Who is Stopping You? (Part 3)

Who is Stopping You? (Part Three)

You feel good one day and bad the next. You are productive and efficient one week, but then waste time and get nothing done the next week. Your mood goes up and down, apparently with no explanation. You are under the influence of an antisocial person.

Abraham Lincoln was known for his mood swings. Sometimes he was energetic, ambitious and cheerful. Other times, he was withdrawn, exhausted and unable to sleep. Winston Churchill was also on a roller coaster: forceful, energized and brilliant one day, depressed and drinking the next. Imagine how much more these men would have accomplished if they had been more stable. They did not recognize how antisocial people were hurting them.

Businesses are also prone to ups and downs because of antisocial people. One week your productivity and income are doing very well. The next, you have major problems.

Marriages and families can go through the same ride. Happy and loving one month, unfriendly and argumentative the next month. If this happens to you, someone may be secretly messing up your family and marriage.

Luckily, you can handle the negative people in your life. You can take control of your progress. You can have a stable, steadily improving business, career, marriage, family and life.

The first step is to recognize who is causing you trouble and what they are up to.

In two previous articles, we outlined three characteristics of the antisocial personality. (Part One: www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial1.htm, Part Two: www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial2.htm.)

Antisocial Characteristic #4

"4. A characteristic, and one of the sad things about an antisocial personality, is that it does not respond to treatment or reform . . . ." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, while most people find a walk to be refreshing, even therapeutic, an antisocial person sees no benefit. "No one likes to take walks . . . all that polluted air is bad for your health. . . the crime rate is rising so you better carry some pepper spray."

Most people are happier when they move to a better neighborhood or learn a new skill, but not an antisocial. He or she does not change for the better. He or she sees nothing to be happier about.

No matter how hard you try to help antisocial people, you will fail. You think you can help them and you try as hard as you can. They may even give you the idea that you are succeeding! But in the end, the antisocial smashes your hopes.

For example, you work at a health club and believe you can help anyone get into shape. Most of your clients are delighted to lose weight and feel stronger. But a small percentage of your clients prove you are wrong and ruin your day.

You can waste years trying to make an antisocial into a kind, considerate person. For example, antisocials will beat their wives or kids until someone threatens them. They pretend they have changed and then start the beatings again.

The antisocial is the constant complainer; the critic who is never happy; the whiner who threatens to leave you. He or she acts kind and thoughtful . . . while stabbing you in the back.

If you open your eyes and face the truth, you eventually realize you cannot help the person, no matter how hard you try.

The opposite characteristic is true of the social personality.

"It is often enough to point out unwanted conduct to a social personality to completely alter it for the better." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you supervise a social employee, correction is simple. You just point out the problems. "Sally, please don't use your computer for personal shopping." Sally says, "Okay" and stops shopping with her computer from then on.

Bosses love employees with social personalities. They can help these employees succeed and thus make the company succeed. "We have too many welding jobs around here, so if you stay late, I'll teach you how to be a welder. Later, I'll give you a raise because we'll sell more welding jobs. Sound good?"

At least 80% of all employees, bosses and coworkers, are social personalities and fun to work with. They are considerate and supportive. They change and improve themselves.

If you are married to a social personality, you can work out your marriage problems with communication. "Could you put your smelly socks in the hamper each night?" "Sure."

Are You Antisocial?

"Self-criticism is a luxury the antisocial cannot afford." "Only the sane, well-balanced person tries to correct his conduct." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you criticize yourself and try to improve your behavior, you are not antisocial. You have the desire to get along with people, to even help them, but not to hurt them.

For example, a father finds a broken vase and asks his 7-year-old son, "Who broke the vase? Did you break it?" His son says, "No, I didn't!" The father gets angry and spanks him for breaking a vase and lying about it.

But then his wife comes in with a broom and says, "I need to clean up the vase I broke."

A father with a social personality then hugs his son and says, "Son, I'm sorry for not believing you. I'll try to be a better father and be more trusting, okay? Let's go get some pizza!"

A father with an antisocial personality says, "The kid deserves the spanking for something else he probably did. You need to show these kids who the boss is."

Of course, anyone can temporarily be antisocial, if he or she is pushed hard enough (by an antisocial). For example, antisocial parents teach their children to be antisocial. The key is whether or not the person will change to a social personality, once he or she realizes the truth.

If you want to improve your conduct, you will change your conduct. You have a social personality!

Take better control of your life with the TipsForSuccess coaching website at www.TipsForSuccessCoaching.org.

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TipsForSuccess: Who is Stopping You? (Part 3)

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