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TipsForSuccess: How to Succeed with ARC (Affinity, Reality and Communication)
How to Succeed with ARC (Affinity, Reality and Communication)
By using this powerful tool, you can form meaningful relationships with everyone you like. Because these relationships, you can get the raise, promotion, sale, friendship, marriage, support or cooperation you want.
"The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations." -- L. Ron Hubbard
ARC (pronounced as A-R-C, not "ark") forms the basis for all of your relationships. L. Ron Hubbard discovered the rules and uses of ARC during the 1950s.
Every relationship has three parts:
Affinity: how much you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
These three parts interact with each other and so form a triangle.
Part 1: How ARC Works
Purdue University did a study to determine why some of their graduates succeeded and others did not. After several years of analyzing the success of their engineering students, Purdue came to the following conclusions:
"The average salary of the students with the highest grades was only slightly higher than the average salary of all the graduates. The salaries of the most popular students, the ones with the good personalities, were much higher than the average of all students. Also, their salaries were much higher than the students with the highest grades."
A popular personality is based on ARC. When you have good ARC with people, they understand you, believe in you, trust you, help you and feel good about you. ARC is such a powerful tool that the simple lack of ARC results in upsets, distrust, hatred, lawsuits, attacks and wars.
"Understanding is composed of affinity, reality and communication." -- L. Ron Hubbard
The ARC Triangle gives you a deep understanding of people. When you truly understand your spouse, children, boss, coworkers, employees, customers, clients, neighbors and friends, you can help them, talk to them, reach more agreements and enjoy their company more than ever before.
You have more ARC for some people than others. For example, you have high ARC with a coworker or colleague if you like the person (Affinity), can talk about many subjects (Communication) and agree on many subjects (Reality). You understand this person and this person understands you.
You probably also know someone with whom you have low ARC. You cannot agree on things (Reality), you do not like the person very much (Affinity) and you do not communicate.
In Part One of this series of articles on ARC, you will learn how you can increase your ARC with anyone.
How to Increase ARC with Anyone
"The triangle of affinity, reality and communication could be called an interactive triangle in that no point of it can be raised without affecting the other two points and raising them, and no point of it can be lowered without affecting the other two points." -- L. Ron Hubbard
So all you need to do is decide which point of the triangle you can increase and the other two points automatically rise!
For example, you meet a new fellow at work named Richard and instantly dislike him. Maybe his attitude or appearance rubs you the wrong way. You really don't want to communicate with him (C) or to agree with him (R). There is little or no understanding.
However, you decide you need to understand Richard so you can work with him. So you ask yourself, "Which of the three points can I raise?" You decide to work on the C part of the triangle and just start talking to him. "Where did you work before?" "How long have you lived in this area?" "Do you have any kids?"
As a result of your communication, you find out he has three kids about the same age as your kids. You share a reality here and so you chat about children. You find yourself agreeing with Richard (R). Within a few minutes, you realize you like Richard (A). You understand each other better than before. You look forward to working with him.
As another example, you want a better relationship with Stella. Stella could be your boss, an important client, a potential mate or a valuable contact. You currently know little about Stella, but have scheduled to meet with her for lunch.
During lunch, you notice Stella is not talking very much. She rarely looks at you and barely smiles. You realize the Communication point of the triangle is not very good with Stella. The Affinity point is also weak as she does not seem to like you very much. So you decide to raise the Reality point of the triangle. You look for things to agree on. "How do you relax after work?" "What kind of exercise do you like?" "Do you have a vacation coming up?"
Stella mentions she loves sailboats and you happen to be a sailboat fanatic. Because of this shared Reality point of the triangle, you and Stella suddenly have a lot to talk about. After several minutes of sailboat chat, you notice she is smiling at you and you feel a higher level of Affinity for her.
As a final example, you want a better relationship with your spouse. You have not been talking very much lately and seem to disagree more often than before. You decide to increase the Affinity point of the triangle in your marriage.
Before you go home, you decide to just feel more Affinity. You think of all the things you like about your spouse. After a few minutes, your mood improves and you look forward to going home.
At home, you give your spouse a big smile, a hug and a kiss. At first, he or she is a little shocked, but soon starts to return the affection and your Affinity point rises. You talk about your day's events (C) and agree (R) on your plans for the evening. Your ARC Triangle is higher than it has been for a while.
This is the power of ARC. With this knowledge, you can rehabilitate or create a wonderful relationship with anyone.
1. Write down something you want.
Do not limit yourself to money or physical objects, but consider new opportunities, powerful contacts, friendships, deals, or projects you want to do.
2. List the names of those who can help you get it.
3. Decide which point of the triangle you can increase with each person: Affinity, Reality or Communication. Include how you will do it.
For example, "Increase Reality with Jill. Agree with her new ideas and she will support my project steps." "More Communication with Bob. Talk to him about his future in the group. Let him say all he wants to say." "More Affinity with Chris. Let him know how much I like his landscaping."
4. Increase that one point with each person until the other two points of the triangle increase.
5. Continue to increase your ARC Triangle with each person until you reach your objective.
The uses of ARC are broad and powerful. ARC can change your life in many ways.
Future articles will cover more ways you can use this tool to form friendships with strangers, become a better leader, negotiate win-win deals, increase your success at work, improve your marriage and boost your self confidence.
Learn more about ARC in the book The Problems of Work by L. Ron Hubbard, available at www.tipsforsuccess.org/bookstore.htm.
Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you.